Work twattery…

[Escapefromhell]

My daughter has started a new role at work. The man who is inducting her in to the role is the same level as her and 10 years younger.

When she asks for something to be explained, or has a question about the job he is the person she is to ask. The role uses a lot of different equipment in a variety of contexts. There is a lot new things to take on board on an ongoing basis. This will be the case over the first year as a lot of there unique to particular seasons.

The man inducting her seems to not understand what my daughter is asking. She will ask a simple question and he will say things like ‘what you on about?’

He over explains simple things to her, even things to her. Things she holds qualifications and has a great deal of experience of. She is the only woman on a team of 10 in a traditionally male dominated industry.

It seems like a load of low level insidious undermining behaviours. He doesn’t do any of it when other staff are around. There is nothing to complain to the line manager about as all of it could be explained as him being ‘helpful’. No evidence of any of it.

Any top tips, pithy comebacks or empathy welcome. She is determined to power on through!

I wouldn't suggest anything other than accepting it all at face value and saying thank you on loop, at least for now. I would also advise taking very good notes so that she masters what she needs to know very quickly. That way, she can challenge as needed later on - I suspect he will back off rapidly when he realises she is not an uninformed new starter any more.

Is he just a bit thick? Trying to come up with witty comebacks when you are being inducted won't do her any favours. After induction she'll be working independently of him, so she just needs to bide her time. She obviously has a greater understanding of elements of the job than him, which will show once she had finished induction.

It's not his fault that he's ten years younger than she is or that he's been told he has to do a year long induction.

He might be avoiding saying 'what are you on about' when other people are there to avoid drawing attention to your dd not knowing what to do yet.

He might be competent at his job but not good at teaching or explaining things to people.

What are you on about?
I'm asking how to change the xxx on the xxx, the machine which does xxx (oversimplified explanation.) Don't worry if you're not sure, I'll ask someone else.

His age is irrelevant

That's a good response

It comes across like you / your daughter have decided you are going to find some sexist behaviour here, what with the unnecessary background of it being a "traditionally male dominated industry" (does this really still happen?). Anyway making pithy comebacks in a new job, to the person responsible for your induction doesn't seem like the right foot to get off on.

does this really still happen?

Yes. Not from everyone, but in my industry, there's always been the odd one or two, everywhere I've worked.

If she has any sense she won't make pithy comebacks. Unless she has active rudeness she feels she needs to politely and assertively challenge she's best advised to get on with learning and use her experience to get up to speed quickly so that she'll have less need to ask him anything. She'll probably feel better for not complaining to you as well. It's probably fuelling her resentment.

Let your daughter fight her own battles at work. It will strengthen her, not least in dealing with twats like this bloke.

His age is irrelevant and why on earth are you getting involved?

Why on earth is she getting her Mum to post on a public forum? We can't help or really comment.

She's probably not asked her mum to post on MN! She's probably just been having a whinge to her Mum and her Mum, because she loves her daughter and would like to help her out if possible, has turned to the internet for advice.

Why does everything have to turn in to suspicion and belittling of people for having a general conversation or seeking people's thoughts?

Anyway, I like @underneaththeash 's response.

In terms of mansplaining the things she already knows, she needs to take the opportunity in a pause of breath to say, "no, that's fine, I already know how to do that. It's this bit I need some help with please."

If she can, make sure she's not asking the same question more than a couple of times, so keep notes if she can. Two can play at his game. She hasn't got anything to complain about because he's being "helpful", she's being efficient by only asking regular induction questions and picking up information quickly, so doesn't give him anything to complain about either.

I'd let your daughter sort out her own problems.

I'd say "I was asking for a simple explanation, you don't have to mansplain the entire business" etc.

I think she'll look like a twat if she says that - other than the first part of the sentence.

Hi OP. I am sorry to ask this, but is she determined to find something sexist and being an insufferable smartass know it all in her induction?

If he's ten years younger then she's not a teenager

She should deal with it herself

Who cares? It will stop him in his tracks.

Yeah, but come on, it took me nearly 30 years from leaving my teens to become a full consort battleship. A bit of advice along the way is welcome.

I doubt it. If she uses the word mansplain he'll probably laugh at her.

Then she can laugh back, he is pretty hilariously bad at doing a work induction.

Right OP.
This is a year long induction? So, he is, maybe, starting with the easy bits at the moment. It does not matter that they are simple things. When you are teaining someone you have to say, whether they know it or not. The learning will come up in layers. So, your DD should show that she is taking on board what he says. Then getting deeper into each machine.
He may be an arse, but if she sticks to it, she will be ok.

I would probably arrange a 1-2-1 with him and discuss all you've said in OP. He might be not aware what she does and doesn't know, and also may be trying to do his job properly (I am trying to think positively). She can outline things she knows, so he doesn't need to explain them to her.

When we have new starters, they sometimes ask questions and I’m not always sure what they already know, so tend to take it from the top. I’m sure, at times, I’ve covered stuff they already know, so I suppose I’m also guilty of “overexplaining”.

Personally I’d just take it at face value and press on, unless it clearly goes beyond the line into some form of unacceptable conduct.