Ds missing pre school as I’m unwell - surely not a big deal ?

[Imsoexhaustednow]

It’s not compulsory like school and he’s not had any days off since September when he started.

Im suffering with MH issues anyway and have been really unwell this week (vertigo) so decided to keep him off till I feel better as can’t manage the nursery drop off and pick up and he’s happy playing at home or doing crafts or watching CBeebies.

Dh is absolutely disgusted - I said we’ll change your hours and drop him then use your lunch hour to collect (he works very near to home / preschool)

He ‘can’t possibly’ …..

Im exhausted

There’s nothing to be disgusted about here. Your son is absolutely fine at home and your day is made more doable by not doing the school run. You are not being even slightly unreasonable

He acting like it’s actual school and he is ‘missing out on learning’ but it’s prob going to be 3/4 day’s maximum he misses just till I feel better and the option is there for him to help if he is that worried

It's probably better for your son to be at pre-school than at home with a sick parent, but your DH needs to find a way to facilitate this, not you if you're ill.

Do you have any other options? A friend/family member who could drop him/pick him up etc?

It's probably better for you to be able to rest fully as well so I'd do what I could.to get him in.

Well now you have been warned about what will happen moving forward. your dh doesn’t care

If you’re suffering from vertigo, how can you safely get him to/from preschool, especially if you need to drive? Even walking is dangerous if you’re dizzy and light headed. A preschooler can’t help if you get dizzy while crossing the road, for example.

If your DH doesn’t understand this, tell him to look up vertigo symptoms.

You shouldn’t be in sole charge of him whilst having a vertigo attack. He should be in nursery for his own safety and for your comfort! You need to rest. Put him back in.

Surely he is safer at nursery than at home with a sick parent with vertigo? I assume you'd need to be in bed, lying down etc and not engaged with and playing with a toddler?
Why can't your DH drop him off?
What support are you having for your MH?
What are your plans when he does ago to school and you are ill?

If you’re suffering from an attack of vertigo are you okay to be at home with him?
just going on when my friend has it and she can’t even stand up without wobbling/swaying, she does the bare minimum until her dh can pop Back and drop their ds off to school.
Not had it myself!
Anyway, besides all of that your dh is being an arse. If he’s so concerned (and he should be), he should be facilitating getting him to and from preschool.

You’re ill, your DH needs to step up to facilitate attendance. Vertigo will only recover with rest

I think your DHs shitty attitude is likely contributing to your poor mental health.

Of you physically can't get him there, then he's fine at home. But if there's a way of getting him there, then he's better there to give you a rest. The way of getting him there is his father. If his father won't take him, he will need to stay at home.

This is my thinking too.

I have no experience of vertigo but I think a week hanging out with mum reading, chatting and watching CBeebies would be absolutely fine for your pre school son. More than fine.
What about you though? What’s best for you? Whatever that is, that will be the best for your son and your husband needs
to help you make that happen xxx

He’s been really good sitting to watch tv or play etc, I’ve had to lie on the sofa most of the day (plus it’s made me feel very sick as well as dizzy) . I asked dh to take today off but he had too much he had to get done there today and told me that when his mum had this she just did some neck exercises and was fine . The gp gave me anti sickness meds and said it’ll pass in a few days no mention of exercise

Honestly in your shoes I’d rather ds was at preschool if you’re lying on the sofa feeling ill. But if no one can take him there, that’s how it is, and he’ll be fine.

looking ahead, what will happen if ds is at school and you can’t take him? Dh has to step up and be flexible when needs must.

I would also make sure to build a community of local friends if you can’t rely on Dh.

It doesn’t sound like you’re up to caring for him in your current state.
And it’s frightening for a toddler to see his mum like that. It’s not like you can play with him. He’d just be in a playpen or his cot all day!
Have you been signed off work for the foreseeable? If so DH needs to work round this.

Very weird that you're refusing your DH to take DC to pre school. Like really weird. Do you think DH can't handle it or something? You're ill and you need to rest, not continue to burn the candle at both ends.

My sympathies OP, I've had vertigo and it's really horrible. For one type of vertigo, BPPV, there's something simple you can do that helps - google the Epley manoeuvre. Unfortunately it doesn't help with vertigo from other causes, eg labyrinthitis. Hope you feel better soon.

I am sort of missing the point here but the neck exercises mentioned are I think, the Epley manoeuvre. It can help if the crystals in your inner ear have moved. There are videos online showing how to do it yourself

PS why are so many men useless knobs? Answers on a postcard.

What! Op said in her opening post that she asked her DH to change his hours so he can drop off DS and then collect him during his lunch hour and the DH refused.

PS why are so many men useless knobs? Answers on a postcard. 😂😂

He would be better off in pre school & DH should facilitate this. You need to rest & get better. If DH works nearby then surely he can sort this out?

Yeah I'd be telling DH he's taking the day off work to help. It's not that difficult for him surely to miss out on one day or even a few hours?

That's not someone who's on your team, or cares about you or your son's wellbeing.

I'd be seriously considering my relationship after this. How bloody awful.

Hope you feel bette.