Daughter and sensory issues

[Whattodonexts]

Hi my daughter is 6
She is recently having meltdowns at bed time (and other times) that she says she can't control and has started saying everything feels itchy, won't wear certain clothes and previously comfy bedding etc is now annoying and she's struggling to get to sleep (In general not just because of this)

I'm concerned and we've long suspected Neurodiversity. She is perfect at school, no issues at all and is in fact thriving. It all comes out at home and seems to be getting worse. She's very clever and articulate and goes into big loud rants about XYZ and shouts and screams then eventually deflates like a balloon and I give her a cuddle. It's hard to watch, she seems out of control and it's hurting me emotionally. School have no concerns.

What can I do to support her?

Hi, occupational therapist here!
Sorry to hear your daughter is struggling. I would firstly see if anything has changed in school to cause the change in behaviour, children often bottle things up in school and then changes are noticed at home.
I would give her time to “decompress” at home, a safe space in her room, den like, beanbags and a heavy blanket (weighted blankets and option but expensive) a chance for deep pressure. Children often like calming linear movements like the swing or trampolines.
I would firstly chat with school and speak with your daughter, she may be trying to cope with a lot of sensory stimulation in school and then it “spills over” at home. Is it too loud, bright busy etc.
Chewy snacks also help - keep some in the cupboard. Natural lighting, fresh air, perhaps a chance for a walk. Limit screens on arrival home.
Bath before bed may help, and she may like to apply moisturiser to herself (or let you help but will accept her own touch better) some deep pressure like massage can be calming.
A heavier duvet may also help.
That’s what I would start with. Is she awaiting assessments? Perhaps chat with GP to get the ball rolling too. Good luck x

Thank you this is so helpful! She can't have a weighted blanket because of asthma but I do think it might be good for not sleeping. She has (oddly as a cooincidence) asked for a 'safe space' previously like a den where she can chill out on her own for a bit. She also really wants a trampoline but we don't have space for one unfortunately. I could definitely set up a little reading nook though with some cushions etc so she can have somewhere to go when she feels overwhelmed. She has a bath every night but we rarely use moisturiser so will change that- I also give her a little shoulder massage each night already as this seems to relax her and she likes it so I'll continue with that but add moisturiser. They do watch TV usually in the winter when they get home but this is only for about 30 mins then she usually wants to play a game/read/draw etc, we don't do ipads etc so thats good to know.

Sorry I meant the weighted blanket would be good for the reading nook example when she's not sleeping so no worries about asthma.

Hi OP, I am also an OT & those sound like brilliant suggestions from @Welshexplorer36 . I don’t work as an OT in that field but I have a 5 year old autistic DD. My DD had her diagnosis in the summer but she has also has sensory issues including sensitivity to sound (this is a big one) & touch. School has been very difficult for my DD & she is currently not attending due to burn out. It’s really positive that your DD is coping well with school as it was our struggles in that area that precipitated getting a diagnosis. However with our DD her autism became more pronounced as the demands on her increased. So reception was just about ok but year 1 was very difficult. She also masked a lot & held everything in at school so was having a lot of meltdowns at home. Since she’s recovered from her burn out she’s been a lot calmer at home without the demands of school. It might be worth you looking in to sensory processing issues as some children have these without autism. I would just keep an open mind at this age & keep talking with the school (though in my experience most schools are not adept at picking up neurodiversity particularly in girls).

Sorry that was meant to say stage not age in that last sentence.

Some great suggestions above.

Could you make a flavoured little smoothie and add a glug of olive oil to it.
It would help to moisturise her skin taken orally.
I add it to smoothies here and it is not noticed at all.
Google bilateral music and sensory music that can be playing in the car or at home when she returns from school.
Weighted blankets are fantastic and the 3kg ones in a childs size would be perfect for relaxing under.

Thank you, she only drinks water won't even try anything else anymore. Stopped drinking milk around age 2. Wish she would have smoothies sometimes. She eats a lot of fruit and veg but nothing with sauce on so quite a plain but healthy eater (sensory thing I think) but anyway I digress!

I do have an open mind but I do feel there is potentially something ND going on here. I havent said anything to school because she does so well there but maybe twice a week she comes out of school and almost collapses onto us and can sometimes cry - like she's held it in all day and then just let's it all out. This could be anger, sadness, frustration, usually about something minor but it has obviously bothered her all day.

I'll look into weighted blankets and a little tent for her room maybe to make into a den. Thank you all such good advice so far.

If she has sensory things already could she have something viral that's making her skin temporarily more sensitive? Certain sorts of colds that don't make me feel particularly unwell make the skin on my arms have an almost sunburny sensation and I'd imagine if you are already sensitive it would make clothes and bedding that are normally fine feel uncomfortable?

My daughter has sensory issues and me making sure she knows I believe her that something is a problem and am trying to help has made a huge difference to helping her stay calm, could you buy her some new pyjamas and bedding together for her for an early christmas present and she can pick ones in a fabric that feels nice on her skin?

Have you changed detergents? All and Tide both do sensitive skin versions many ND kids find helpful.