Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Two year olds with dummies

28 replies

Ticklemeharder · 21/11/2023 20:47

Really noticing a big trend in older kids with dummies in my friendship circle. We’ve all had kids around the same sort of time but I realised when we met up recently that my two year old was the only one out of six kids over 2 that didn’t have one. I feel like I’ve missed some parenting hack here because they mostly were a lot better behaved than my two year old and the parents seemed very nonchalant about their teeth. (I didn’t bring it up but one parent was chatting to another’s about her daughters protruding teeth and the other said they don’t worry as they fall straight very quickly once the dummy is given up whether now or in a years time). Recently gone through a very stressful time taking the dummy off my six month old and now wondering whether I needed to bother! Does everyone else keep the dummies going for their toddlers?

OP posts:

Seagrassbasket · 21/11/2023 20:50

DS is two, but only has one for sleeping, and we are very strict with this.

He absolutely loves it though. We will all be utterly heartbroken when the time comes for the dummy fairy to take it away.

timeforacoffeebreak · 21/11/2023 20:50

My daughter had a dummy as a baby and despite judgement from giving her one at all.. it worked well for us. She continued to use it after she was one. And gave it up without a problem at 16 months. She is 5 now and never had an issue with her teeth placement at all x

timeforacoffeebreak · 21/11/2023 20:51

I must add like previous poster, she only had it when she would nap/ go to bed.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 21/11/2023 20:52

We got rid of my daughters dummy around 2/2.5 as we did the dummy fairy so she needed the understanding, i didn't want to take it away without her being able to understand why

princefamilypaper · 21/11/2023 20:53

Where did they get that BS about the teeth? They don't just magically go back in to place. you did the right thing taking it away

WhatsThePurposeOfLife · 21/11/2023 20:53

It's so bad for their speech but I don't judge parents who still use them as life is hard!! And they make life easier on a day to day basis.

Our dentist said even when they fall asleep you should take it out of their mouth so they don't have it in all night or all nap time as it shapes their mouth/teeth.

Fipfop · 21/11/2023 20:53

My 14 month old loves hers so asked the dentist for advice. He said as long as it's gone before she's 6 then the teeth will go back to normal and not to worry. Obviously will be gone before then but definitely made me stop worrying about it for now!

romdowa · 21/11/2023 20:53

My ds 2 only has it for sleeping for the last maybe 4 months. He got grommets over the summer and I removed it during the day to help his speech come on. I think once they go passed two then they don't really need it during the day and the longer they have it the harder it is to get rid of. My friends only just gotten rid of the dummy for her 4 year old.

NuffSaidSam · 21/11/2023 20:53

As long as they're only having it to sleep, it's fine. I wouldn't take a reliable source of comfort away from a six month old. Comfort and good sleep are more important than milk teeth (and teeth will be fine if it's nighttime only anyway).

Give0fecks · 21/11/2023 20:54

my 13 month old currently has one for sleep and naps, he is my 2nd child and my first never took a dummy. It’s so much bloody easier!! It’s like a miracle invention 🤣

in all honesty I don’t understand the hate towards them. Some people find them “tacky/ bad parenting” etc just like some people get in a huff about using reins on toddlers.

pandarific · 21/11/2023 20:54

Some children are very comforted by sucking- mine both were and have both had dummies. My elder had his until nearly 3, then he realised babies have them and voluntarily gave his up as he was a big boy. Dentist checked recently and said no impact at all, checked DC2 (2.5) said slight protrusion but usually straightens as DC1’s had, nothing to worry about, just try to get her to give it up by 3ish.

I think it’s a bit of a non event really.

Duttercup · 21/11/2023 20:55

I wish mine had a dummy. She's a thumbsucker, pretty hard to take her thumb away.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 21/11/2023 20:57

My dd never had a dummy but sucked her thumb until she was about 6! Admittedly not much by that age but still. That was very difficult to stop

Ultravox · 21/11/2023 20:58

My older 2 gave up their dummies early but number 3 LOVED his and we only got rid of it when he was about 4. No impact to his teeth.

TrixieFatell · 21/11/2023 20:58

My eldest was 2 when she stopped using her dummy. She only ever had it in for sleep and she would usually spit it out as soon as she was asleep. She was fine giving it up and even chucked them in the bin happily. Her teeth were never crooked or had that distinct dummy shaping.

I sucked my thumb until I was 13, stopped because I wanted a sleepover at my friend's house. Had to have a brace. I still miss it now 😂

snoopyfanaccountant · 21/11/2023 20:58

My 20 year old had a dummy until just after she turned 4 but it was only allowed for bed. She voluntarily binned it as she had decided she didn't need it anymore. TBH, as someone who still sucked her thumb at 10, a dummy at bedtime for a 4 year old wasn't an issue. My niece sucked her thumb too and was still doing so after she started school at 5.

wittybitty · 21/11/2023 20:59

I think it’s just about doing what’s best for you rather than comparing yourself to anyone else. If you wanted to take the dummy away and had reason to do so, then that’s absolutely fine. The same way if people choose to keep them, that’s up to them.

Both of my children wouldn’t take one and my 3 year old is beautifully behaved most of the time and speaks incredibly. The jury is still out on my 10 month old 😂.

KnowYouAreLoved · 21/11/2023 21:02

I'd never take it away from my 6 month old if that was causing distress to them! It's their source of comfort.

I have 3 kids, one wasn't fussed for a dummy, one loved it until 3yo, one could take it or leave it. I've seen no effect on speech or teeth at all between them. I was always just led by them and whether they found it soothing or not.

I was worried about teeth but my friend who is a dentist said they don't notice much effect from them, and they are far more worried about thumbsucking and sugar basically. Sure enough, my middle one who loved her dummy and wanted it 24/7 has beautiful straight teeth aged 5, and one who didn't really ever take a dummy has quite prominent upper front teeth/jawline aged 2.

I don't understand the judgement but people are weirdly judgemental about them. I'm way past caring about that shit.

MammaTill2Pojkar · 21/11/2023 21:10

My eldest had a dummy until he was about 2yrs 9mo, we phased it out. HV said he shouldn't have it during the day after 1 year old so we took it away during the day at that age and he went along with it quite well, then I started slipping it away after he was asleep and he stopped needing it at bedtime/overnight by around 18 months, then he kept it for just nap times until he stopped having naps and naturally didn't need it any more.
His teeth were fine.

Youngest still has a dummy, he was a thumb sucker from birth, so I encouraged a dummy as it would be easier to remove that than his thumb, he was older when I managed to remove it during the day and had it for about 5 hours a night and nap times after that. He stopped nap times around 3 years old and I have recently started removing it after he falls asleep. He has it twice a day now for about 30-45 mins at a time.
The dentist said she could see it was affecting his teeth a bit when she saw him before his 3rd birthday but it should be okay as long as we remove it before too long. Going for a gentle approach with removing as he loves it so much and since reducing how much he has it overnight he has started sticking his fingers in his mouth again, so I'm constantly having to tell him to take them out. He's almost 3.5.
Oh and youngest speech isn't very clear yet, 'pink' is 'hink' for example.

BertieBotts · 21/11/2023 21:12

I thought it was normal to keep it until about 2 or 3 if they had one.

Mine all naturally dropped it before 6m so I never had to make any decisions but I think toddlerhood is normal - that's why people do things like the dummy fairy, which a baby wouldn't understand.

bloodyhellKen22 · 21/11/2023 21:13

The dentist told me that I didn't need to worry about the dummy affecting her teeth until she was around 4 when I asked.

Original poster

Ticklemeharder · 21/11/2023 21:18

Yeah, unfortunately we lost the last of her dummies but she’d been starting to take it out of her mouth, launching it and then crying so it felt like the right kind of time anyway. We did the same with my son at a similar age with no issues. It was much harder with my DD but we realised afterwards her first tooth had come through at the same time we got rid of the dummy so I felt horribly guilty for a while and in hindsight we should have just waited.

OP posts:

RedRobyn2021 · 21/11/2023 21:19

I don't see the problem with them as long as they're only used at bed/nap times, the real issue with them is they can get in the way of the toddler speaking.

I would be more worried about my child's well-being mentally and if you're planning on removing a dummy at 6 months I would never have introduced it in the first place.

We never used a dummy, but my daughter is 2 and still breastfed and I know is helps regulate emotions and soothes, a dummy will do something similar.

RedRobyn2021 · 21/11/2023 21:20

bloodyhellKen22 · 21/11/2023 21:13

The dentist told me that I didn't need to worry about the dummy affecting her teeth until she was around 4 when I asked.

This is what I understood too

Wheelz46 · 21/11/2023 21:26

Both mine had dummies for nap times until around 2 or 3, never during the day though and they have perfect teeth.

When I was young, my mum said I had a dummy until around 5 (only on a night) because I had extremely bad eczema, which covered all my arms and legs and a dummy use to soothe me and prevent less scratching and I have perfectly aligned teeth (without any intervention) so not sure I believe the whole dummy affects your teeth/shape of your mouth malarkey.

Flip

1 2