I need enlightenment in here.
My kid (8 yo now)as been together with this kid since reception... But lock down came and homeschool it was , so interaction was none.
Lock down lifted back to school y1. The girls get together again but the thing was they were falling out of friendship more then we're on it
Reason was that mine daughter want to have turns to choose the plays but the other one didn't want as she decided everything... So mine was all the time rejected.... Spending most of the times playing by herself on and teacher assistant.
By this a lot of meltdowns that I need to deal with .. and even the teacher was telling me that at some point they separated them to different tables so my DD can be focus and try to do the task they need to do because the other one was kind of bossy.
In meanwhile I was try to connect as well with the girls mother without any success... Saying morning with no answer back ... Even in a birthday party try to make small talk and being completely ignore and blanked.
So I got feed up and give up.... So went to drop out and pick up my little one without interact with anyone... In and out quietly!
Nonetheless in the middle of the y2 seems that mother wake up for life and since the girls getting along again... That mother try arrange playdate between the girls... Which I didn't seem any harm ( but to tbh... I not keen on it) only the fact that she never consult me or ask .... Just go to my girl and saying to her if she wants to go on a playdate and ask me to drop her off at her house.
From that mother I do not know anything ( phone number or address or any info what so ever) and she did even approach me once and try for multiple times to take my kid to palydates... Even when I said to her we need to talk about it and not promise kids to have a playdate without my consent first.
Days passed and stop the invitations ...but still no good morning or interaction...even when we side by side no words exchanged ( To be honest not being interested as much).
One of the pick ups... Still no words said between us and when the kids come outside to be collected she approach my daughter and give her a paper invitation with a info for playdate... Which I was fuming being 5 min side by side why she did give me or talk to me?)
Saw the paper I said I will think about...
After a lot of consideration and giving the benefit of the doubt (although not felling very comfortable on the situation) let my kid go to the playdate at hers.. And rearrange the next on my house ( I give my number and my husband's number as we both work and could be a day that one of us being not be available that time).
The playdate on my house was not easy to deal with.. as I didn't like so much the interaction of the girls... The other one still being bossy.. do not want to play anything that was suggested...just want to run and scream....not listening went was told off... Locking my little one on her bedroom on the dark and even hear her crying and shout her name she keep pushing the door knob so mine do not come out even know she was in distress)
I told off that girl gently ...telling that was not nice shouldn't do that if was her she would like it... So we do not do thing to other that we do not like to be done to us... Right???
Next playdate... She only msg my husband ( that she only saw once) and still not even talk to me on school run...
But did send my girl again because I didn't feel confident and did trust that would be a go playdate as my little one was concern not be able to make any play choices ..
So for that refuse the next playdate
.. keep quiet for a time but suddenly she msg my husband again with another invitation and another one and another one... Which were refuse...
Y3... Again girls fall out because my daughter was feed up not having a turn on anything and just to do what the other wanted.. So then her mother msg me to ask that happen at school and her daughter was kind of emotional and disappointed with my daughter not able to play with her.
In meanwhile I put my DD on asc for her to interact with other kids and build more friendships
And surprise that other also put her daughter at the same asc...but it only being there for a month has she was not getting along with any other kids only focus on mine.
Just a little note...the small interaction that I saw between her kid and mine... It was all the time what she wants and mine doing that she needs... When mine try to play with other kids or she pushed them or just through a big tantrum until mine do what she wants and then she was happy..
At school they need to seat them in different tables and school trips paired them with different kids and even on after school club ( her daughter only been there for 1 month)They as well needed to separated them as they were falling out very bad.and my DD asking me to not going to asc on the day she was there.
So aibu to restrict the interaction to school only and refuse playdates?