Exit interview

[MiamiWindMachine]

I’m about to leave my job after five years. I was headhunted, so it wasn’t that I was particularly unhappy or desperate to leave - I just got a very good offer. I have a great relationship with my boss, who is disappointed I’m leaving, but understands that it’s a great opportunity. I’m glad to be leaving on good terms with her and the team and will only have good things to say about them in my exit interview.

However, I don’t feel the same way about HR. I know that, as a sector, it doesn’t exactly have a reputation for attracting the best and brightest, but this is genuinely the worst team I’ve ever come across in my career. I had to deal with the then Assistant UK Manager a couple of years back and she was robotic, utterly lacking in empathy and made several mistakes. She’s since been promoted to UK Manager 🙄

As you can tell, I have no time for her, but it isn’t about personal dislike. The whole department is run extremely poorly. Everything is very “computer sez no”; there’s nothing approaching common sense in any of their decisions. Last year, they opened the annual review feedback system - with a fixed window of two weeks - on 12 December. Our annual review deadline was Boxing Day. They used the same system to open an important survey on 17 December. It’s like Christmas and New Year - which in my experience roll around roughly every year - and all the associated disruption don’t exist in their world. They must have had complaints, because they moved the annual review forward by six weeks without a word, meaning you were buggered if you’d happened to book those two weeks off. There have been many other organisational issues too.

I wanted to say all this in my exit interview. But now I find they’re sending the most junior member of the team possible to do it. Not even the Assistant Manager; I’m essentially getting the secretary. I feel insulted, and it’s just another sign of their lack of interest, or even general critical thinking. They haven’t even bothered to find out whether the company is desperate to keep me or thrilled to be rid of me.

As I say, I wanted to talk up my boss and leave on a high note. But I feel like I have to get all this out there. Maybe it won’t do any good, but at least I’ve got closure.

WWYD?

You’re absolutely delightful 🤣 tbh sounds like HR will be cheering when you leave! I would suggest most professionals on here would agree that you’re gonna be in for a sharp shock in your career with that attitude. It won’t be tolerated and will hold you back, believe me. Best of luck!

Reading this with interest as an HR Director. It seems you don’t really understand how organisations or HR departments work in general. I’m guessing you’re quite junior from the way you come across.
If a senior member of the HR team has the time to do all exit interviews, quite simply they are doing their job incorrectly. The feedback can be escalated to a senior member of the team if needed and acted upon. Just because someone is a “secretary” (which you seem to think is far beneath you) doesn’t mean they don’t have the skills to escalate key feedback.
Just for your information, important feedback is things like harassment, discrimination, bullying, mental health and other wellbeing issues - not just being a bit annoyed and entitled about HR processes.
The most important thing to know that if your company REALLY cared about why you’re leaving, you wouldn’t be leaving. Managers will move heaven and earth to keep their best people - believe me. Nothing that is said in an exit interview should come as a surprise if managers (not HR) are doing their job. Your manager already knows all this feedback you’ve given about HR - you’ve told him or her. Have you asked yourself why he or she hasn’t acted upon it? This thread is quite telling as to the reason.
HR may not attract the “best and brightest” in your opinion but you truly have no idea what we are involved in behind the scenes. Additionally, things like performance review windows are usually dependent (especially in big companies) on the comms team, senior management sign off, other events at the time, the importance with which they are viewed in the organisation….I could go on. It’s not just HR sending them out when they fancy it. Your inability to see that speaks volumes about your knowledge of organisational context and structure.
I may not be the “best or brightest” in your opinion but myself and my team contribute a
huge amount to our organisation (including commercially), it’s a shame you feel the need to criticise a whole (mainly female) profession in that way.

You live in a dream world. “Will not be tolerated” 😆

Nothing you’ve said makes me feel any differently.

That’s absolutely fine, but don’t be surprised when your attitude holds you back. I have seen countless individuals who should be senior leaders based on their skillset on paper, but sadly they just don’t have the emotional intelligence or ability to deal with people at all levels. They never know what their career could have looked like, and it’s sad.
Best of luck in your new role!
(Just one more tip - I pride myself on dealing with people with care and kindness no matter how difficult the situation, and the only time I may appear not to be empathetic is when an individual speaks to me as if I’m shit on their shoe from the outset of a conversation, just because I’m “HR”. Something to think about!)

I'm a senior HR person and I fucking hate what my profession has become!!! I just left a well paid job because the HR team of the company we merged with were atrocious. They had more policies than the UN but no common sense or ability to just talk to people. There was even a collective grievance against the Head of HR which upon investigation was totally justified!

I have always been happy to do exit interviews, sometimes you learn so much more than you would at any other time in a persons employment, even if it is a criticism of HR!

Rant over!!

I’ve never even heard of an exit interview- is it a US thing? Mind you I am a freelancer so I guess I escape interacting with HR types.

The point is you’re lying because you knew very well you had posts deleted for personal attacks on posters.

They haven’t even bothered to find out whether the company is desperate to keep me or thrilled to be rid of me.

Because they don’t want you!

You’re absolutely right ! lots of research to back up that EQ is one the biggest factors to accelerate your career, to become a respected employee/leader amongst your team and the wider company and to help with better decision making for the good of the organisation and its people.

thats not withstanding the fact the corporate life is changing fast.. the old boys clubs are fading away as these men retire and the younger generation are demanding far more equity, equality, respect, flexibility, kindness and care in the workplace, therefore EQ is becoming key to having a long successful career x

Write it all out clearly and professionally explaining your approach. Differentiate between the good and the bad, praise what works and the company and give honest, businesslike feedback for what doesn't work and why. Then send it to the people who need to see it, those who might be able to make a difference to those who stay.

Reflect on this. They do not care. Every single action they’ve taken tells you this.

Because they don’t want you!

HR aren’t the ones who would decide that.

I've never seen the point of exit interviews except as a nice little HR tickbox (one day I will write a book about how many problems they've caused me over the years and some of the spectacular dimness they generally exhibit. I think I've met three who were any good and I've worked a lot of places). I'm looking for my next job and when I do finally manage to escape my exit interview will be one word answers. Nothing ever changes because of exit interviews.

At my last place - which I left on good terms - the manager didn't even pass it on to HR, it just got stuck in a drawer and the appropriate box ticked to say it had been done on my exit sheet.

If HR are that useless why are you even thinking the exit interview means anything? Is this a first job? Surely you know by now that they won’t act upon anything you say!
they do it to cover themselves and the company, not because they genuinely want feedback.
they need you as a good leaver - it’s to cover themselves in case you make a retrospective claim…. They want to check for any info that they’d like to know, and they want evidence in case they ever need it in the future either good or bad against any of your co-workers.
its a bit naive that you’d think moaning about HR being crap might actually be acted upon.

I presume King Charles was unavailable for your exit interview?

Because obviously someone as special and important as you would only interact with royalty.

I've done that before and not regretted it. If you feel that strongly about it go ahead. In my case though it was leaving because of a specific manager so I was happy to tell them that.

Leave with dignity and don’t ever burn your bridges. It’s a small world and you never know when you will bump into ex colleagues again in the future.

You won’t gain anything by getting off your chest how you feel about HR and you’re going to a new job with different working practices. Leave the past behind and look to the future.

Just decline the exit interview. Move forward.

Exit interviews are about speaking with someone and recording the feedback and are therefore usually conducted by the HR administrator. If there are any issues raised which require further discussion / investigation, senior HR colleagues will be notified.

You sound quite entitled and status orientated OP and unaware of how processes work within organisations. The annual review deadline you mention is unlikely to have just been HR’s decision. It will have been agreed by the Exec team, probably due to more pressing business deadlines in autumn or New Year (reviews are time consuming for line managers). I may be wrong here but when I read you’ve already had communication with a HR manager i assumed you are someone who complains a lot and makes yourself known. Sorry I know this is a bit mean but I’d go as far as to say I bet your boss is not as sad to leave the working relationship as you are. If you work in a private sector company there’s usually budget up keep a middle management person if we want to. Try and stop looking down on HR and those in secretarial roles and focus on your own career and communication style with colleagues.

I wouldn’t mind the exit interview being done by someone junior. There will be a system for recording the remarks. I think the bigger issue is that the HR function overall might be ineffective.
In a previous employment, I had HR screw up my pension contributions for a year (despite my queries/raising that I thought they had it wrong), they shredded my birth certificate (needed for vetting purposes), messed up my application for promotion by failing to escalate it to the review committee on time, and delayed their processes on a number of occasions. That was on top of general errors in producing contracts, etc. The head of HR ended up being promoted internally, despite screwing up things for a number of colleagues.
I came to the conclusion that there was bio point in sitting through an interview to highlight failings of my terrible manager (I would be here all day, telling you if his awfulness), as nothing would be done with the information.
So, I’d make a judgement call on whether you think anything will be done with the content you raise, and then decide if you want to go ahead.

Keep it to yourself. You are moving on, so not your circus, not your monkeys.

The most important thing to know that if your company REALLY cared about why you’re leaving, you wouldn’t be leaving.
and this is why exit interviews are pointless make-work.

I do think that it’s easy to see HR as obstructive and ineffective when it’s more about not understanding their role properly. At the start of my working life I worked for a small firm as an assistant to, in effect, the COO, there were changes to the company structure and she was excited to be taking on the HR department. A few months later she confessed to me she was a bit shocked to find out that it’s not about sitting around with upset employees over a cup of tea and sorting out problems to make them feel good again (she didn’t mean that literally). The legal side of it; the balancing competing constraints; protecting the company over the employees; and the herding cats to build an effective company culture were complex and less fun (I think she liked the herding cats, though, she was a good people person).

There are some great HR departments out there. In my experience, the ones that aren’t great are that way because the C-Suit don’t value HR. So if HR try to implement change they get resistance if it interferes with how other departments want to work. And it’s hard for them to get things implemented that require buy in outside of the department. The only thing they really get listened to on is legal risk, and even then they can be seen as a clean up crew rather than having a leadership, risk mitigation, talent optimizing role. I think that can lead to people becoming robotic and apparently lacking in empathy and certainly to a “computer sez no” attitude.

If you had a crap Assistant Head who got promoted to Head, chances are the senior leadership don’t think HR matters much and they promoted a “yes man” who doesn’t rock the boat rather than looking for someone who is talented and effective and whom they would listen to. Your problem is probably less with HR and more with the C-suit who don’t value them. If so, it won’t make any difference who from HR does your exit interview. The department will have no capacity to implement changes that would make a difference and your feedback won’t be heard by anyone who can make a difference. You’d probably be more effective letting your manager know as he can feedback up through channels that will carry more weight.

Christ, you’re a vile piece of work.