Drinking at kids parties

[AddyOtti]

I have 2 kids, 8 and 5, I'm only 33 so had kids before most of my friends, a few have had kids in the last 2 or so years.
This year I have been to the birthday parties of 3 of my friends kids, 2 first birthdays, one 2nd. The last party was just this weekend. All 3 had a similar format, all the parents friends (regardless of if they have their own kids), random start time (1/2 in the afternoon), no real end time. The adults drink, the kids run around, no activities, at some point they do cake and everyone gets a cuddle with the birthday kid but its really not about them. In august one started at 2pm and people were still drinking in the garden at 11pm!! There are always people there who have never met the kid before and haven't seen the parents since the baby shower, so it is really not about the kid!
For my kids first/second birthday we had family and close friends round. Only started parties when they had friends to invite.
AIBU to think it is really odd to spend hours getting drunk at a kids party with adults they have never met and have no kids of their own? When did this become a thing? Is it a thing in your social circle?

Its just an excuse for a get together. Why does it matter?

The baby won't care.

The kids don’t know it’s their birthday until their 3rd really, so yes you are being unreasonable. I actually think the forced fun type baby parties are far, far worse.

1st birthdays in particular are really to celebrate a year of surviving parenting!!

I’ve always served champagne at any parties at home , but as soon as they were 3 they were having soft play etc. now they are teenagers we tend to have family celebrations and they do something with friends.

Totally normal, at 1 it's just an excuse to have a get together for the adults

What is your issue with it? Fairly standard in my social circles.

Totally normal.

Much better than the forced ones where you are playing pass the parcel with a baby.

I don't have children, I have been to lots of parties as you describe. Totally normal until the kid is older, and even then most have alcohol for the parents.

Were they drinking or getting drunk because you changed it right at the end?

As long as the kids are safe and happy who cares?

You're coming across here as a bit low in confidence if you feel the need to start a thread criticising other people's choice of party.

Totally normal in my social circle and honestly makes me feel like I’m still a person with a social life and not just someone’s mummy

At 1 it's a party for the adults. Assuming they're not all blotto I don't see the problem.

There was wine and beer at my daughter's 3rd birthday party. It was summer, it was in the garden, it was a nice time for everyone involved.

I was just about to say exactly this! I liked being able to switch off from "mummy-ness" occasionally.

Definitely normal. Birthday parties are actually for the kids from age 3 I would say. We were the same as you that we just did BBQ for our daughter’s 1st/2nd birthday with family, but that’s because I don’t fancy hosting everyone for a bigger get together with more drinking etc, not because I object to one. Happy to go just don’t want to host unless it’s a big birthday one!

Have rarely been to a birthday party that didn’t crack out the alcohol for the adults and my two are almost 6, so we’ve been to a lot of parties. Kids parties are hard to get through – the alcohol is much appreciated.

Have rarely been to a birthday party that didn’t crack out the alcohol for the adults and my two are almost 6, so we’ve been to a lot of parties. Kids parties are hard to get through – the alcohol is much appreciated.

My children were summer babies so we would have a barbecue with beer, wine and birthday cake, and as the children got older, we'd hire a bouncy castle.

Is your problem with people drinking alcohol around children? There's a big difference between having a glass of wine or a beer and getting completely wasted, you know.

Nothing wrong with it, as long as the parents aren't so drunk that they can't look after the kids. A few drinks, food and good company is a great party.

Alcohol only enhances a kids party imho

A one- or two-year-old absolutely doesn't care about a party. I mean, at that age they're still excited by things like a box of tissues or the sight of their own feet. They don't even understand what a birthday is. So I really can't see why it's a problem if the parents have some family and friends over to spend ten minutes fussing over the baby, eat some cake and then have a few drinks and a buffet.

I have literally no idea at all what my first or second birthday parties were like. I know my mum made me birthday cakes because there are photos of those and there's also a couple of photos of me being carried/cuddled by my parents and grandparents that were taken on the same day. I guess they must have had some family over, I don't know. But there are no pictures of me having a 'proper' children's party with lots of other children and no adults until my 3rd birthday when I appear to have had a little party with six or seven other kids (Humpty-Dumpty birthday cake that year, if you're interested) and then from 4 onwards (farm animals birthday cake) it was proper parties. The first one I remember was my 5th one (Mr Men cake).

I’m not a fan of alcohol at kids parties. When mine were small we would meet up with friends for a soft play session or similar.

Now they are older and there seems to be alcohol to buy at the soft play. We went to one party that was in a playground. The parents had carried a table there and loaded it with alcohol. I don’t want to drink during the day when I’m looking after my kids. There was no ‘entertainer’ or activity. The kids played for a while and then we went home. I felt pretty awkward about it.

I think that's quite normal for a 1st or 2nd birthday party. It's for the adults isn't it? From about 4, they seem to get a bit more structured (although most of the kids parties we go to also serve beer/wine for the adults but they're a much more defined two-hour thing).

It’s a get together for the adults. If you were planning a good time for a one year old you’d probably have a cuddle and then go and look at a duck or something.

There’s a big difference between parents having a drink, and being drunk.

Agree a sociable drink whilst children are playing makes for a pleasant afternoon. If the parents are drunk and can't look after their kids, not good.

All the best kids’ parties come with a glass of wine.