I don’t entertain baby 24/7 - does this make me a bad mum?

[Younghearts]

I’m not sure if I’m going through some sort of PND or if I’m lazy or if I’m just being a normal mum but I do not entertain my 7 month old the whole time he’s awake and I’m starting to feel a bit bad about it.

A friend of mine says she spends her babies whole wake windows playing with her baby, entertaining her baby and will not do any cleaning or eating unless her baby is asleep.

I however, admittedly will put baby in his play pen whilst I go and clean or sterilise his bottles. Sometimes if I’m in a rush and need to get ready quick and out the door I will take care of baby then pop him in front of TV for 15-20 mins to keep him occupied. I struggle sometimes with mental health and on overwhelming days I sometimes hide away and leave baby to play in his pen for 10 mins whilst I compose myself.

Of course we go out often, I go to 2 baby groups a week and we visit family weekly and we cuddle, play etc just not all day.

I’m wondering if I’m just normal or if I am suffering from PND and need to spend more time with my baby.

Gosh I leave my 8 month old in his pen or high chair whilst I do other stuff. I agree with others that it’s important that baby sees you doing stuff around the house. I believe this will make it more normal to them as just part of their day and they’re more likely to help out etc. When I put his washing away I’ll sit him on his bedroom floor with something to play with and then talk to him about what I’m doing, naming the clothes I’m putting away etc. I do think it’s important that they learn to entertain themselves and make choices. As long as baby is safe then there’s absolutely nothing wrong with leaving them to create their own fun for a bit whilst you get a moment to yourself.
Your friend is definitely in the minority.

Well what a lucky lady your friend is to have a baby who actually sleeps! Ignore her please. What will she do if she has a second child? Which one will she ignore so that she can focus solely on the other?? She can't possibly do this anyway. Is she honestly saying she never eats, tidies up, puts a wash on, talks to anyone else, watches TV, makes a cup of tea, looks at her phone, goes to the toilet while her child is awake. This doesn't sound realistic at all, and it's completely unnecessary.

I regularly leave my slightly older baby in his cot and with a few toys to roll around with/chew. Soft ones and cloth books obviously so he can’t hurt himself. Then I’ll clean the kitchen/hoover while keeping an eye on the baby monitor. He’s happy, I’m happy.

You sound like you've found a great balance OP! Babies benefit from not being entertained constantly and it sounds like you do a good mix of everything to me!
Ds is 15 months and his favourite way to entertain himself at the moment is to play what we call 'potato cupboard' 😂 which is essentially he moves the potatoes from the veg rack and puts them into the cupboard under the sink (which I've had to empty out!)and then once they're all transfered he puts them back on the veg rack. He bloody loves it 😂 and it means I can get the dishes done! Or he loves having the pots and pans out on the floor to hit with a wooden spoon. He has tons of toys but they are his two favourite activities! We also obviously do lots of games together, and activities too lol

I am exactly the same with my LG and my best friends is the same as yours! I just do what I have to do and some time on her own won’t do her any harm!!

we’ve got this 💪

Agree with this. My first screamed solidly until he was sick if I wasn’t holding him or interacting with him from birth until he could walk. My second born can entertain himself with his own feet on the play mat for ages. They have been parented near identically. You are lucky you have a baby with a temperament to let you do this. I’ve only realised since DC2 has come along that I’m not a sh*t parent for needing to be on it with DC1 all the time!