AIBU to feel sad that ex got away with coercive control?

[LostPurpleKipper]

My ex was coercively controlling/psychologicallyy abusive and near destroyed me (it got to the point that I truly wanted to be dead, but we had kids so I had to find another way out).
Ex is the master of looking kind and reasonable to the outside world and his refusal to let me go was taken by the majority of theoutside world as how much he loved me. After being stuck in a pressure pot at home for two years (his psychological games were endless), he suddenly moved out a month after the Coercive Control law came into being - he is very aware of his behaviour.
Ex has never given up his games but when he's crossed the line, it's been too clever to do anything about. Plus if I reported to the police the kids would see me as the baddy because he plays the victim to Oscar level. Trust me, been there with a Social Services incident.

If it wasn't for the kids connection, I would just skip away into the happy sunset. However, I have to keep dealing with a person that fills me with stomach churning fear with every contact (thankfully minimal recently but a small uptick at the moment).

Today I admit I am feeling a bit vulnerable and sorry for myself. How do I deal with my feelings? I think it's the injustice. I think it also hurts because people who knew how hard it was for me to get away and how broken I was, still treat him like a good egg.

Ex is the DCs' hero and has a social halo with a charity loud-haler. Imagine a community good guy with a 'difficult' ex-wife [me] who [insert lie] had an affair (as if I had the freedom or money!), threw the amazing relationship away [ummm...], is unreasonable to not want to be in close contact with him for 'co-perenting [imagine the look of disappointment of a man who tries so hard...]
Sorry, but I just need to get this off my chest somewhere and the potted spider plant isn't listening.

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.”
Bide your time.
Your day will come.

Keep your (gun) powder dry and just simmer gently in the background and shut down unhelpful thoughts. Take no notice of any narratives he sets up with others. You know the truth and that’s all that matters.

One day you’ll look back from a happier place and be glad you’ve moved on with dignity. Meanwhile I recommend a Peace Lilly!

OMG I either know your ex or his twin!

My friend dated him, kicked him out after a year and wishes she'd spoken to the 'difficult' ex wife.

He even has awards for all the charity work and his adult kids think he is dad of the year.

Consolations - everyone he works with has now seen through him and think he is a dickhead. And friend has spotted his kids are only interested in dad of the year when they can get money out of him.

Thank you Mrs. Fawkes - that made me smile.

I know justice is a something constructed by society, but gosh it would feel better. When I look back to the state he and his family (quite consciously) put me in...

Yep, I have climbed a mountain since, but sometimes it can be a tiring walk.

@LostPurpleKipper really sorry I don’t have any helpful suggestions, but my dad and I have been subject to coercive control and abuse by my mother for my whole life and presumably before that for my dad. I’ve actually given a paper on how difficult it is to prosecute under the CC laws and although my mother has been arrested three times for physical violence, once for false imprisonment, she’s only been cautioned. I feel so much sympathy for you particularly as with your children you don’t have the option to cut contact. Maybe phone or visit Women’s Aid in your local area? They might be more helpful in managing things going forward. I understand the feeling of sadness that he didn’t get comeuppance but there’s not a huge amount you can do about unless you collected evidence at the time. You can try collecting evidence of anything he does that’s frightening out of historical context or at least speaking to trusted friends when he upsets you, even if it’s just because you have to be around him (back in the good old days when I went to work, I would either shake or burst into tears if my mother sent me a work email).

Thank you too @CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau
I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with your mum. Yes, that horrible feeling when they contact you. It might be the most reasonable sounding message, but you know there's an agenda and it's as triggering as hell. Well done for writing a paper!! And thank you too because any action to change things for the better is awesome. Yes, the police do very little. Without giving specifics, one of Ex's tactics was clear and on paper but the police said it was therefore a civil issue. It's almost like (some of) society give abusive people a free pass. I hope you are doing OK.
@AnnaMagnani Yes, he does sound familiar! So glad your friend got away!!!