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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think ds is showing traits of autism etc?

11 replies

BrandYsnapP · 21/11/2023 09:09

I am a huge worrier and recently split with DS’s dad who has moved in with his other woman. I’ve been a mess. I am not sure if this has fed into my anxiety but I seem to be 100% caring for ds as he is never around, the last two weeks he has cancelled seeing ds etc. I’m worried ds might have autism or similar as I am so scared at managing it largely alone. Ex dh put this in my head a few months ago when we had a particularly hard time with ds but now I can see these traits quite clearly… do they mean anything? He’s 14 months.

Long periods playing alone, 20 mins to half an hour he will play with you sitting nearby.

No words yet.

has a car with buttons, can press them himself but if I am there he picks up my hand and puts it on the button waiting for me to make it make a noise

along periods of sleep, can sleep up to 14 hours some nights and refuses to nap in the day, often just a 45 min nap and that’s it

started to refuse certain foods

makes eye contact but not when you show him something and I think he’s supposed to check your reaction or something from what I’ve read?

can’t walk yet but does the downward dog pose on his head a lot

im worrying so much about the future and this just feels like another thing on top of everything else, does anyone have an experience of whether these are signs?

OP posts:
MarleyandMarleyWoo · 21/11/2023 09:12

Personally I don’t think anything you’ve said really makes me think your son IS autistic. I mean, he could be, but so could any small child and his behaviour sounds very like most small children I’ve known, my own son included.
By all means, keep an eye on it all but don’t drive yourself mad spotting for any hints that he’s autistic. It’s just extra stress you don’t need right now.

lunaticfringer · 21/11/2023 09:14

Sounds completely normal to me OP but you could chat to HV or GP if you have good ones. You sound so stressed - it might be colouring your experience of your son.

WanderingWitches · 21/11/2023 09:17

I've 2 autistic kids and that behaviour wouldn't be ringing any alarm bells

Haveyouanyjam · 21/11/2023 09:17

Agree with others, sounds totally normal. My daughter definitely liked using my hands for things at that age, and it wasn’t because she couldn’t do it herself. She definitely went through food refusal around that age and is nearly 2.5 now and currently eats virtually everything, though I’m sure that will change again soon! Started walking at 14 months.

It sounds like you are going through a really stressful time so some reassurance wouldn’t go amiss, but it honestly doesn’t sound like there’s anything to specifically look out for with your child at the minute.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 21/11/2023 09:19

I'm autistic and have 2 kids with autism. What you describe doesn't ring any bells for me.

Allmarbleslost · 21/11/2023 09:58

None of that would worry me at all. See your GP about your anxiety and start enjoying your baby.

BoohooWoohoo · 21/11/2023 10:02

I wouldn’t worry about your list.
For example I would see putting your hand on the car button as his attempt at communicating with you. Imagine that you were playing with a child who didn’t you speak English. Wouldn’t you consider moving their hand to the button to make a connection ?

LemonLight · 21/11/2023 10:02

I would be wary of projecting your anxieties onto your DS. It doesn't seem like there's anything to really be concerned about.

Nancy1906 · 21/11/2023 10:07

Op the best advice I can give is:
Hes very young, if he is on the spectrum you can turn it around somewhat to see what early intervention yields.

Ie lessen screen time to no more than 1.5 hrs a day

Try to engage with him at eye level by sitting at his level

Sing him nursery rhymes with hand gestures

I've been doing this for 6 weeks with my daughter and eye contact has improved remarkably

Shes becoming much more responsive

I wish you the best of luck x

platinumplus · 21/11/2023 10:44

My son is autistic.

None of what you've said resonates with me as being autistic traits.

Even if he does turn out to be autistic, it's not the end of the world. He's still your son and he is the way he is.

Please try to stop worrying about it and enjoy having a toddler! I often say I wish I could go back in time and have a toddler cuddle for just one day 🥰

zingally · 21/11/2023 10:58

None of that sounds like autism to me.

Both of mine were much closer to 18 months before I heard anything that sounded like words.

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