I don't know what to think/do - social dilema!

[lovinglaughingliving]

My little boy (3) met a little girl at the weekend at the garden centre, they spent over an hour playing together/held hands etc all cute little kids stuff. The mum and I swapped numbers (she asked me) and we arranged a play date for midweek this week.
I've texted her to confirm plans/ask for address etc and not heard anything back.
My little boy is asking each day "is today the day mummy!" Id rather know sooner than later if I have to tell him he won't see the little girl again.
So help a very autistic person out!
Does that mean she doesn't want to meet up now?
Do I need to wait longer?
I obviously don't want to text her anymore because that's obviously quite intense.
Or do I just tell my little boy that his new friend is too busy to see him this week?
The mum was very very pregnant so as my husband says, she could have had her baby.
I hate the not knowing and feel sad I have to let my little boy down.

I think the best thing is to try to have lots of other opportunities to play so that your DS learns that it's ok to play with lots of different friends rather than getting obsessive about one particular friend. The kids on the receiving end of these obsessive friendships often find it too much and start avoiding contact which is distressing. So in future even if you exchange phone numbers with another mum and agree a meetup, keep it less-certain for your DC, say we "might" see them again rather than promising that we "will" see them. You can't control what others do and they will sometimes have other priorities than you, so managing your own expectations and behaviours is the only thing you can control. Are you a member of any regular playgroups? That would be a less intense way for your DC to link up with others?

Sometimes people swap numbers then change their mind. Don’t stress, give her a bit more time before taking to ds about anything.

He has lots of friends, he goes to nursery every day and has two "best friends" who he plays with each day and has round for tea each month or so. He did really seem to click with this little girl though. I am not usually one for arranging play dates on the first time I've met someone but the other mum wanted to and I didn't see the harm. I don't understand now what I'm supposed to do if she's ignoring me? 🤷🏻‍♀️ thank you for your reply - I appreciate it!

Thank you, you are right. I suppose she could have had her baby or just doesn't want to say she's changed her mind, or something else!
The odd thing is that we saw the little girls Nana (who was also at the garden centre) at the supermarket yesterday and she said how excited the little girl was! So 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I have no bloody idea what is going on.

She is having a brain fart. Probably just busy.

I would check in on her again.

Don't contact her again - the ball is in her court now.

She may be someone who does not reply immediately, or she may be busy, or she may have changed her mind. She may contact you or you may never hear from her again.

Your ds is 3 and easily distracted, so he will forget. If you feel the need to say something to him about this just say that you've messaged her and it is up to her whether she replies now.

I swapped numbers with someone and never got round to arranging something. We did message for a bit but it was hard to arrange something when I worked full time and I just kept forgetting. I liked her but it was just being busy and forgetful.

I've had this happen so many times. My DD makes friends so easily at the park. They always want to meet up again and it very rarely happens! I've been on both sides of it, where either I was too busy or forgot, or didn't receive a reply. Sometimes I'll get a call or text out of the blue. I wouldn't worry about social faux pas. Wait a bit and try again. Just tell your son they're super busy and you'll try again later. Leave a text one time and a voicemail another time, and then wait and see. There's no way that can be taken as a negative, it's just two sweet kids who want to play together.

It was only the weekend give it time. Just tell your child you're not sure when they'll meet yet but Mummy is trying to sort it.....

Her address - did she suggest you should meet at her house?

I wonder if she's had a panic about that.

Give it some time - she’s very pregnant with a three year old, she probably doesn’t reply very promptly to messages!

Why do you feel like you are "supposed" to do anything? If a stranger hasn't replied to my text, I would have forgotten all about that by now. Explain to your boy that you haven't heard back from the girl's mum and as soon as you do, you will let him know. I feel this doesn't need to be any more complicated than that.

Goodness it’s only Tuesday morning. Give her a bit of time. She’s probably busy. Heavily pregnant with a 3 year old. I imagine organising a play date is low on her priority list

If somebody I had met once didn’t respond to my text then I would just leave it, I doubt I would give it any further thought. I definitely would not follow up.

She said "I'll text you my address"

You might feel that, but you aren't me are you!
I asked because I wasn't sure and feel odd about it.
Thanks for your "help" 😖

My problem is, we organised it there and then. For tomorrow after school.
My son knows this!
I can put him off if course, he's asking all the time about it and I want to treat him gently but with honesty, which is hard to do if I don't have a clear cut answer.
I guess I will leave it and she might text tomorrow or something. If not, then that's that!

Your little boy is 3, he will soon forget his new friend. The mum may have had her baby, she may have changed her mind, she may be busy, she may yet text back.

Just tell your little boy the truth. I don't know her mum very well so I don't know where they live. I sent her mum a message to ask about the playdate and she hasn't replied so it won't be today. Maybe you will bump into her again sometime and if that happens we can ask again. Do you want a play date with another friend instead?

When my son was three I got dumped by the friends I'd made in nct (was only two of them). I felt worse for my little one as he kept asking when we'd see them all again. He's now 6 and has no recollection of them, he forgot them about two months after we last saw them. All you can do is wait op but I get how disappointing it can be.

@lovinglaughingliving

Personally I would leave it. She said she would text you her address and she hasn't. I would tell your little boy that the girl's mummy is very busy and may even have a new baby by now. If she does suddenly contact you then all good. You can explain to your son that the new baby didn't arrive so now you can go and play.

Well. I had an appointment today and when I got out of it I had 3(!) voice notes from her and the first one said "oh my god im so sorry! Im useless with my phone, I have 73 unread WhatsApp messages!" 😂😂
Anyway, all is fine (and would have been fine if she had cancelled but I am someone who likes clarity!) and we've changed to Friday!