My girlfriend and I are a mature couple and we both have kids from previous marriages. We've been together a year and 4 month ago or so she moved in with me temporarily as she picked up a job in my area, and she’s selling her house. We get on great and I love having her here. We are very happy. She will buy her own house eventually - we both prefer it that way but will spend most of our time together.
She has an adult son who works as a military contractor and works abroad. When he was off he used to go to his wife, but they are splitting up. So while he is off this time, and between contracts, he wanted to come and stay with us. I have a smallish house and I like my privacy, but being kind, and being assured it wouldn’t be for too long, I agreed. It’s difficult to put a firm date on when he will leave as he has to get medicals and then flights. I accepted that although she never actually sat down and asked me if it was ok. I can't explain why but I just don't like having people staying with me for more than a day or 2.
Anyway, he arrived last Monday - we were given less than 24 hours notice - she couldn’t get a firm commitment from him until the day he was flying in. We get on OK - but this was the first time I had met him and is a bit intense having him in my small house. And of course he has no money…
He was supposed to have a medical on the Friday, 4 days after he arrived, and I was told it would be about a week following the medical that he would be on his way. I agreed, although to be honest I like a bit more predictability in my home life.
Well, he missed his appointment. I was told he had re-scheduled one for 3 days later, close to where my partner used to live, so he took that appointment, and she had planned to go back to her own house to prepare it for sale anyway, so she went, and took him with her of course. I have just been told he will not now have his medical for another 8 days. I don’t know yet why the plan changed. I suspect he's not very organised. There’s a big dinner planned here at my house with my kids, between now and his medical, so her plan is to come back here for the dinner, with him, then take him back for his appointment at her old house and after that I don’t know. And it’s a 4-5 hour drive each way.
There will be a period between the medical and the flight which no-one can be definite about which I’m not happy about. I feel I’m being given the run around. First I was given less than 24 hours notice RE his arrival. Then the appointment was last week which he missed, then I was told it would be today, now I am told it will be in 8 days. I think I’ve done enough and maybe I’m being selfish but I’m not keen on him coming back again for an undetermined amount of time. I might just tell her to come for the dinner if she wants (or stay there and miss the dinner, I'm pretty fed up right now), with him, then when she goes back to her own house for the appointment to stay there until he gets his flight but is that too mean on my part? I know she will be upset, but I just don’t like having people in my house for more than a couple of days. I’m torn.