Me and my husband have a 2 year old and 4 year old. Both seem to really not want anything to do with their dad the majority of the time…e.g screaming when we’re all out in the car together if he’s the one to put one of them in their car seat instead of me. Screaming and saying I don’t want daddy at bedtime (we each put one child to bed and swap each night)…always saying I don’t want daddy, don’t like daddy etc.
i thought it was a phase but it seems to be never ending. My husband works from home so is around a lot and does a 50/50 share of practical things with the kids. I’m worried I suppose if it’s a phase or of it’s linked to how he is sometimes. I think he’s depressed and as a result he can be incredibly negative and wondering if they can tell he’s miserable. He never shouts at them but I feel like he is overly critical / negative and has unrealistic expectations based on their ages…for example he will demand / say in a negative voice ‘come on pick up these toys look at this mess you’ve made’ in a grumpy voice instead of ‘can you please help me tidy these toys so we can go play something else’ for example.
When they come home from nursery they won’t acknowledge them and if he tries to cuddle them they’ll move away and he’ll say (to them) I don’t know why I bother, what’s the point etc. he gets overwhelmed when they cry and doesn’t know how to deal with it / gets annoyed with them and doesn’t see that they can’t help it.
i suppose my worry is that I don’t particularly like being around my husband much as the moment myself and find him very critical with me so thinking how this would feel to children with much less resilience and understanding of what’s happening. He’s not abusive he’s just miserable and I worry about the impact of this