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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get 3 year old own tablet?

139 replies

Twilightinnovember · 20/11/2023 17:59

We have a long car journey next week and wondering about whether to take advantage or Black Friday deals? Just don’t want him asking for it all the time. Do your kids have their own tablets?

OP posts:

Winwit · 20/11/2023 22:34

Mine had a tablet at that age and still uses it. There are some great apps that help with learning letters and numbers, and books that you can listen and follow along. Plus the school sends homework tasks to be done on the tablet, like the Collins ebooks to read, etc.

AuntMarch · 20/11/2023 22:35

I got my son one last Christmas at 3.5. He doesn't use it every week, let alone every day, and I've been very picky with whats on it (it doesnt have mobile data so only things ive chosen to download- i turn the wifi off).

I'd download a film for him for that length of travel and have no guilt about it what so ever. I don't for the hour drive to his dad's though because I do agree a bit of boredom and "mind wandering" is beneficial!

SaturdayGiraffe · 20/11/2023 22:37

Spotify has lovely story podcasts for children you can play on the car speakers.

Bottle Ship Adventures and Thomas & Friends Storytime UK are well produced.

Life doesn’t always need a screen.

CoQ10 · 20/11/2023 22:38

I agree with pp - family tablet.

I'd also take a box of Lego (with one of the green flat bases to have on the lap to build.on), teddies, other fave toys, colouring books and pens and books for him to play with in the car. I used to tell mine to play or read for an hour, watch film for an hour, play for an hour, etc. They learn to self occupy then, rather than relying on and expecting a screen all the time. This was important to me, esp when they were v young.
I also used to download stories for them to listen to with a headset or with a Bluetooth speaker in the back of the car which went down well.

SharonEllis · 20/11/2023 22:40

Twilightinnovember · 20/11/2023 19:47

It’s a five hour journey so that’s a lot of looking out of the window! He might be OK in the car, just conscious it is a long time.

My kids were completely fine on 7 hr journeys with no devices. Talk, play games, play music they like. Each had an activity bag and a clipboard to lean on. Drawing, stickers, foil art, toys. Very rarely had any issues.

Jk987 · 20/11/2023 23:21

I think it's good for kids to be bored too. But what happens when you've sung all the songs, eaten all the snacks, played with all the toys and they've had their nap? You have to concentrate on driving, child is shouting and there's still 2hrs to go after stopping at services?

CiaraLee · 20/11/2023 23:23

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

CeeChynaa · 20/11/2023 23:24

Do whatever is best. If it’s best for you to get him a tablet for the journey then get one. Every child is different so people saying ‘well my 6 year old does xyz’ is irrelevant. My 2 year old wouldn’t even last during a 1 hour car journey, let alone 5. I think it’s fine

CiaraLee · 20/11/2023 23:29

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

Twilightinnovember · 21/11/2023 05:01

Some of these suggestions aren’t very practical for a car, though. Colouring books for instance would be very difficult for a three year old to hold the book and colour in when on the move, then they drop crayons and you get tears and frustration and can’t do anything until the next service station! Likewise sticker books, he’d need help with those. At five yes but not three.I’m not actually sure what foil art is!

I probably will end up surrendering my phone, if I need to. I really am not convinced he’d listen to an audiobook to be honest.

OP posts:

lovinglaughingliving · 21/11/2023 06:43

Both of mine have kindles (6&4) but they have to do an hour of "learning" before they can play age appropriate games. Parental controls are sets to strictest settings and a limit of 3 hours a week in currently in-situ. Never ever at mealtimes or when we're out somewhere (same for TV or any screens, it's my pet hate seeing kids staring at screens in restaurants!) They ask for their tablets when they want to play them, and if we ask for them back they give them back without so much as a whinge or moan and they live in the high up cupboard. So yes, I'd get one (they use iPads at school for learning now!) but keep it heavily time restricted x

Festivemoose · 21/11/2023 06:52

Twilightinnovember · 20/11/2023 19:47

It’s a five hour journey so that’s a lot of looking out of the window! He might be OK in the car, just conscious it is a long time.

I regularly do a 5 hour drive with my 3 year old. I just stop regularly and when she gets bored we sing songs from her Yoto through the car stereo and chat. Never had a problem.

lovinglaughingliving · 21/11/2023 06:54

Ps @Twilightinnovember ignore all these people who are giving you a load of shite. Take the path of least resistance because parenting is really hard work!
Letting him have a kindle for a 5hr car journey (as and when he needs it!) won't harm him at all. Infact, it may well help him with learning shapes/colours/phonics/numbers whatever... IME some of the apps are really good!!
Try it, if it doesn't work for you, either sell the kindle on fb marketplace or hide it in the back of the cupboard! You're not obligated to use it forever!!

BananaSplitX · 21/11/2023 07:04

No. My kids have never had any technology for the car journeys. They are now 11 and 8. We talk, sing, play games. We listen to podcasts, especially those with questions at the end and we shout the answers and have a right giggle. There’s so much more to life than staring at a screen.

AhBiscuits · 21/11/2023 07:06

My two have had their own ipads since they were two. Doesn't mean they are on them all the time.

Cosyblankets · 21/11/2023 07:20

I've only read your posts OP and it's clear from those that you have decided. I'm a bit on the fence with this one. It can be the thin end of the wedge if you're not careful.

Are there two adults on the journey? Is there only one child? Can the non driving adult sit with the child and play games that are not on a screen?

switswoo81 · 21/11/2023 07:22

Yanbu get one
If he likes Bluey there's a really nice app with loads activities for his age. Also the Peppa apps are great especially the holiday one :lots of matching etc. I do find paying a couple of euro for these means they're much better quality and no adds.
Get the kindle fire kids cover too much easier for him to hold.

Original poster

Twilightinnovember · 21/11/2023 07:26

You’re the second person to say that Cosy and actually I haven’t … I do say above that I’ll probably just surrender my phone.

If it sounds like I’ve decided because I’m pointing out some suggestions aren’t very sensible or workable, that’s because some posts are very unpleasant or quite patronising to be honest.

OP posts:

Whinge · 21/11/2023 07:34

Are there two adults on the journey? Is there only one child? Can the non driving adult sit with the child and play games that are not on a screen?

I wondered the same thing. I know long drives with small children aren't the most exciting experiences, but it's managable without a tablet, especially if you're able to share the driving.

therealcookiemonster · 21/11/2023 07:41

no... the effects of screens on brain development is pretty bad. he can look out of the window, have a nap, 'read' a book, play with toys, eat his favourite snacks.... unless you are driving by yourself... someone can sit next to him for part of the journey?

I used to do a lot of long drives as a child to go see grand parents (I didn't do the driving dw), and I loved it.. I have clear memories from a v early age and remember being so excited about going on the drives. also we didn't even have a TV until I was 12 (very strict parents), and I am so grateful for that.

InTheRainOnATrain · 21/11/2023 08:33

As well as the suggestion for age inappropriate arts and crafts- a 3YO doing foil art, on their own, in a moving car, really?? I’m also surprised to read quite a few suggestions for snacks- isn’t that a choking hazard in the car?

OP can’t keep up so sorry if this has been suggested but you could get one of those holders that goes on the back of the seat in front then stick a movie on. That way it’s less dopamine zombie scrolling and pretty much identical to watching a film on the TV at home. So the ‘tablet’ doesn’t need to be a thing, in fact you don’t even need to mention it and he never needs to touch it. You get to the first rest stop screen free and then you say they can watch Sing (or whatever). Movie ends and you stop for another break then stick on an audio book or talking about the bloody cows until you arrive, easy peasy!

AllAboardTootToot · 21/11/2023 08:33

When we go on a long car/plane journey with niece and nephew, we wrap a toy/activity up for each hour of the journey so once we enter into next hour they get excited about the next present and it keeps them entertained.

We build little snack boxes out of the tool kits with all the square sections too so they can pick and then we play games.

Its hard work but I see them stuck in screen a lot at home and I hate it so t try and avoid it and they love this! They are 3 and 5 for reference.

Allfur · 21/11/2023 09:11

Ive seen them on holiday wandering around with their double handed brightly coloured holders, they never let go, or watch where they're going half the time

avenue1 · 21/11/2023 09:31

It sounds like you'd like to get him one. But have been rather dismissive of the reasons for holding off. Studies show it does hamper development and creativity. Boredom is good within reason for children. And at 3, a child can or is learning to follow an audio story- it's good for them. I also expect you're not travelling 5 hours non-stop?

I have four children and travel regularly a five hour car journey, wait 1.5hrs for a ferry, then a ferry. We have one shared iPad and its most useful at the port and on the ferry. On car journeys I've found there's no need. They sleep, talk, listen to music, play games. It does partly depend on the imagination and input from the adults, but we certainly don't entertain them the whole way. (Kids are 8,6,4,1)

strawberry2017 · 21/11/2023 09:35

I think it's fine for reasons like long car journeys, quiet time at home within reason, what makes me sad is when families go out for food together and every person at the table is on a device of some sort.
I was out for a breakfast with my kids recently and they were the only kids not watching a tablet whilst eating. It really opened my eyes to how easy it is to give kids something to shut them up

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