To get 3 year old own tablet?

[Twilightinnovember]

We have a long car journey next week and wondering about whether to take advantage or Black Friday deals? Just don’t want him asking for it all the time. Do your kids have their own tablets?

Yes we have tablets for our dds, they don’t get on them as soon as we travel, we do chatting, eye spy etc but after the first hour or so I don’t see anything wrong with a bit of tv, then a break bit more chatting etc. It breaks up the journey. I think some people demonise technology but it can have its place. My kids don’t always want to watch the same tv all the time, they’re years apart so why not have tablets for some down time. It’s not all the time! Just set some boundaries.

You think it makes children 'thick' if they use a tablet?

DS5 and DD2 both have one. They're great for holidays/travelling. (We did 32hrs driving across Europe in May and they probably looked at screens a tiny fraction of that but it killed a few hrs).
If you're a sensible adult and able to put boundaries in place there's nothing wrong with occasional use, some of the apps are brilliant and very educational. I still have two lovely, curious children who enjoy games, looking out the window, playing with toys, who are independent and creative thinkers....because I'm normal and don't let them use it constantly (not even every week). I've had zero problems with mine needing to be on them, DD goes months and DS weeks without but they have their uses.

I personally wouldn't. I do allow screen time but it's limited. For a long journey I'd just download it on my own phone/tablet and let them watch a few cartoons but I wouldn't buy them their own one at this age, no. It would become 'theirs' and I think it would make them ask for it more. I'm personally going to try and delay it as long as possible before my 3.5 has his own device. I did get him a drawing tablet thing that he likes to use, maybe that's an option?

I don’t ‘think’ it, there’s an ever growing body of research that proves it and parents should be aware of it.

We used to do Scotland to Cornwall every year when ds was small without tablets or phones as they were not common place. I remember some singing and learning songs 🤣 and taking lots of rubbish, but it really wasn't that bad. Its amazing what they come up to talk about when they are trapped/bored......what do clouds taste like mum?

The research says tablet use in childhood makes them 'thick'?

I’m a bit hypocritical - I want my phone for the journey! Plus I’m always paranoid he’ll ring someone or send friend requests on Facebook or something 😂 I have seen some really cheap ones on Black Friday offers and thought it might not be a bad idea. We wouldn’t be giving it to him the second we left the drive or anything but I think after a rest stop he might be reluctant to get back in the car seat and it could be a good ‘bribe.’

I think it's a bit irrelevant whether he has his own device or not. The key thing is that you are still in charge of when he can use it, whether he nominally owns it or not.

Mine got their own at 9 and we always banned devices in the car. There would be two of us adults for any trips over about 90 mins though. If you're driving solo with a toddler for 5 hours then I would chuck everything I could at it to keep him happy.

No. Your child is 3 years old. Try interacting with him/her instead

5 hours isn't that bad

some of these posts are going out of their way to be as unpleasant and offensive as possible.

The research is about habitual use, not a one off for a few hours. It’s easy enough to put the tablet away until next year; most parents know how to say no. We used to drive from the UK to Rome with no entertainment at all every year and I don’t seem to have become a better person because of it.

You sound really sensible OP. I’m sure you interact plenty with your DS and are perfectly well bonded, so I’m sure that an ipad one-off car journey because you can’t talk about cows for 5 hours won’t be a slippery slope into 2 hours+ of TV a day, turning into a thicko and failing all his GCSEs. If anything I think posts along those lines make a case in favour of the tablet because YIKES!

The last time I read any research on children and screen time, it said the usual sensible things: children left to their own devices fare less well than children who have an involved parent/adult to talk to about what they are watching.
I bought tablets during the sale for the grandchildren , 5and 6, before they had a trip to the States and daughter said it was a life saver on the plane and subsequent long drives.
The tablets now come out for half an hour while mum (drinks wine) gets supper on. The children seem quite their normal boisterous selves when they visit at the weekend, neither are particularly ahead or behind in their milestones or communication skills.

As ever on MN. Full of parents who did 20 hour car journeys with children who only had a stick to play with.

YABVU. Those devices should be nowhere near children. Fine for a car journey but not all the time, they don’t need their own. Can’t you take books and read to DC some of the way of someone else is driving?

My DS is 4.5. He doesn’t have one and never goes on ours.

Just to clarify, I don't think this, and I don't think the research says this either!

To me it's like the learning advantage of your child learning to play a musical instrument or another language many times over. That extra shared attention and conversation at the absolute crucial time for their developing brain. The fact there's nothing else to do but talk and listen on a long journey is precisely why it's such a valuable chunk of time!

OP, get one if you want one: most parents do!

It is a bit baffling. We used to have long car journeys as a child and I don’t necessarily have fond memories of them. I just used to be sick all the time though - ds doesn’t get motion sickness thankfully!

I do see kids in prams and in cafes looking at phones and tablets which isn’t ideal although I know sometimes you just have to do what you can, but this is very much a one off. Some may not think five hours is ‘that bad’ but irrespective of what anyone thinks it’s a long time for an active three year old to have to sit. He’ll almost certainly be fine for the first two to three hours but we will have to stop and then getting him back in the car seat may prove difficult. That’s where a novelty tablet may come in handy and unfortunately I don’t think ‘oh wow, we can listen to an audiobook!’ will have the desired effect!

I don't think saying what worked for your children when the OP is asking for views in a very open minded way is at all unpleasant.

The 'thick' comment, yes. But that was one comment.

My GC have had tablets from two. We don't watch television, so the tablet occasionally worked for us. The now eight year old is very into art, they both do choir, both did gymnastics, it's just getting a balance. I don't believe all of the research because parents don't admit how poor their parenting has been and how little other enrichments were provided. The younger one, now six, still plays with toys, she loves play dough. She'd rather be out and about than in the house. I don't see the battles that are talked about on here. Gaming is good for hand/eye coordination. There's plenty of teaching games. My youngest has mild LD's and is autistic. She watched wildlife programmes non stop. She gained more knowledge than she would have doing something else. Screens aren't all bad. Some children are more easily pleased than others.

Get him some headphones and audible instead. I’d avoid screens for as long as possible and then be restricted

@VestaTilley i really don’t want to sound rude but have you read the thread?

Or doped up on medised with sleeping bags in the boot of the estate, no seatbelts of course with Dad pulling an all nighter to get to the South of France in one. No screens needed!

Getting a 3 year old their own tablet is obviously going to result in habitual use. Suggesting otherwise is daft, they are far too expensive not to use regularly, and if you need one for a one off car trip then you are probably not a parent who ‘is able to say no’. Increased use will creep in, it’s only natural.