To worry about DS starting school?

[biostudent]

My DS is currently non-verbal and still in nappies. He has no way to tell me if someone is mean to him or something happens that upsets him. He goes to nursery but there's a higher ratio or adults to children than there will be at school and I can't help but worry that he will be vulnerable and other children might pick on him because he can't tell anyone. We can't apply for a specialist school as he doesn't have a diagnosis yet but he should have an EHCP in place, but I know that doesn't mean someone will be with him all day, hence why I am concerned. AIBU to be worrying about this?

You need to speak to your HV/paediatrician about schools now. You don't need a diagnosis to access specialist school provision, you need to show that mainstream cannot meet his needs

DC can have a special school named in their EHCP without a diagnosis. Some SS require a formal diagnosis (e.g. some specialist autism schools) but many other SS don’t need a formal diagnosis.

When the LA issue the finalised EHCP naming the placement for reception, if it doesn’t name your preferred placement, you will be able to appeal.

If 1:1 is required it must be detailed, specified and quantified in section F of the EHCP and therefore it must be provided and can be enforced. If it doesn’t, when you have the right of appeal, you can appeal.

If you haven’t already, have a read of IPSEA and SOSSEN to start learning about EHCPs.

Honestly, mainstream is probably not the right place for him. A good specialist school would be fine and you'd have nothing to worry about. You don't have to send him to school. Look at home education (there are lots of Facebook groups)

I wouldn’t EHE unless you actually want to EHE. If it isn’t appropriate for provision to be made at school there is EOTAS. EOTAS can provide far more than the vast majority of parents can afford to fund EHEing. That is not a criticism of parents who EHE, more a statement of what EOTAS can include.

We had a little boy waiting for a specialist school place last year and his mum was going to keep him on at nursery until a place came up for him. Is it an option for him to stay at nursery? I don't know what the parameters are for that to be an option but it might be worth asking the question

Someone should still be with him all day OP. Can you voice your concerns to the school? They will also do their own risk assessment and probably decide that’s best

Of course you are not unreasonable to be worried it's your child and he's vulnerable.

You do t need diagnosis for the appropriate support.

If you are worried you can refuse to send him as the school is not suitable. Think it's the children's act you can quote- you as a parent have a duty to ensure your child is safe and adequately cared for. Also you have a duty to ensure he receives an education suitable to his needs and abilities- which mainstream is not. DO NOT choose home education as in elective home education as then the LA has no duty but if you insist you are home educating as the school is not suitable and that the LA maintains their responsibility you will be ok.

Tbh I think you should have an EHCP before school that's poor of nursery

If your son is summer born (May-August), you can delay his start to school until the following year. He can still have a place in Reception rather than Year 1. There's a Facebook group called Flexible admissions for summerborns that is very helpful . Worth a look if your son has a summer birthday. This would give more time to assess his needs and more time to ensure provision in section F meets his needs. You can absolutely name a special school in the EHCP and the request will then be taken to panel.

Just want to back the other people up. You don't need a diagnosis to get a place at a special school.

@PurpleBugz Nursery are doing the EHCP at the moment, he doesnt start school until Sept 24, not sure I made that clear in my post. I have toyed with EHE as I know I'm perfectly capable but it's just time I'd struggle with. In all honesty, I'd love to send him to the local specialist school but it is only for autism so if that's not what's going on then we'll have to look elsewhere. It's more my concern that I'll be sending him somewhere that he won't be able to tell me what's happening because they might not have eyes on him 24/7.

Thank you everyone - I think I'm going to look into a specialist school and see what they can offer him but also have a couple more mainstream school viewings, as one was very well catered for SEN children. I just need to make sure we make the right decision but it's difficult without a diagnosis or full understanding of what's going on.

Has an EHCNA request actually been submitted? If not, you should make the request yourself ASAP. You need all the time you can get. Unfortunately, many have to appeal more than once, so you can’t guarantee there will be a finalised EHCP in place by next September and you should make an application via the normal admissions process as well.

We can't apply for a specialist school as he doesn't have a diagnosis yet but he should have an EHCP in place

That is not the case. You need an EHCP, not a diagnosis. Go and visit some special school.

@BlueBrick The nursery are in the process of applying for the EHCP and he is having a visit at nursery from the area SENCO, the nursery have been amazing, they applied for higher needs funding at nursery and were granted this so have used it for many things to help him. They also managed to get him a referral for occupational therapy, we weren't able to get a referral on our own.
@Shinyandnew1 I will definitely try and schedule some visits to the specialist schools (there's only 2 nearby and one is autism only) but I really think he's going to have a diagnosis of autism.

I know you said the nursery is in the process of applying for the EHCP but has an EHCNA request actually been submitted to the LA? If not, you should make the request yourself ASAP.

Many SS won’t allow visits without being further on in the EHCP process, so you may not be able to visit. When you do look at schools, look at all within travelling distance (45mins is normally considered the maximum travel time for primary, although many travel further and some can’t travel that far) including any independent and out of area schools.

@BlueBrick Unfortunately they are the only ones within an hour of driving, accounting for traffic up to an hour and a half. I also have work and so does my partner so this isn't an option. I'll find out from nursery where they are in the application process but they are usually a step or two ahead of me already. I'm not even sure if he needs a specialist school, he's fine in nursery, its mainly his speech and lack of toilet training (not for the lack of trying), but he is very slowly getting a few words now. It's so hard not knowing the cause of the delays but we have another paediatrician appointment in a couple of weeks so hopefully we will be moving forward towards answers.

If the nursery hasn’t actually submitted a request for an EHCNA to the LA, you should. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use. Also, remember transport can sometimes be provided.

OP, your little boy sounds very similar to mine at that age. (My DS was diagnosed with autism at 3.5.)

I'm not saying this to scare you but resources for SEND kids are scarce and in my LEA it is very hard to get anything at all without a diagnosis. Is it possible to go private and get one to speed the process up? I appreciate this is costly and may be beyond your means. Or could you claim DLA, save it up for a few months and use that for a private diagnosis? We receive about £350 a month in DLA for our son and have used it for sensory equipment, private assessments and private therapy over the years.

Agree that IPSEA are a very useful resource. But they are very busy. If there's a Banardos children's centre near you, they can also be a useful source of support.

Also, a lot of autistic kids struggle with language but can be exceptionally visual learners. For toilet training we found a fantastic video on YouTube called Tom's Toilet Triumph - develop by SEND continence specialists in Australia to help SEND kids learn to toilet. Worked brilliantly with my son.

Unless money isn’t an issue, I wouldn’t look at a private ASD assessment now. Even if you would like to pursue the autism specialist school and that needs a formal diagnosis, you potentially have 2 appeals to even get an EHCP before even considering the placement, so I would save the money in case you need independent assessments e.g. ed psych, SALT, OT for appeal. And the vast majority of support is based on needs, not diagnosis, so even if the LA unlawfully refuses to provide support based on not having a diagnosis, you can appeal.

How good is your son's understanding? Is he happy interacting with other children or does he prefer to play separately?

Please consider carefully what your son is likely to get out of mainstream education at this point. My son is autistic and has always been fine in mainstream and its really helped him socially but I've also seen autistic children in the self same school who were basically being "babysat" because they couldn't access the curriculum and the support for them wasn't there.

A final point to bear in mind is that it's far easier to move from special school to mainstream than vice versa. Children moving from mainstream to special school have often (not always) had a bad experience of school and not coping with it.

You need to make sure that the EHCP does state that he has 1:1 support for 32.5 hours or whatever is full time hours.
My dd started mainstream reception with this level of support.
You also need to think about whether mainstream is the right place for him. Go and look at all the specialist schools in your area.

Try not to worry too much but do crack on with the needs assessment and EHCP (it’s a long process!).
My DS has Down Syndrome, we deferred him starting school as he’s a late summer baby. He’s now in Yr 1 at an amazing mainstream primary school. He started reception in pull-ups not fully toilet trained and was classed as mostly nonverbal but he did use makaton signs to communicate (he was not the only child starting school in pull up nappies!). School supported us while we were toilet training and we had an intimate care plan in place alongside his EHCP. He’s now in “big boy pants” and rarely has accidents and his speech has come on brilliantly, he’s putting together short sentences and engaging with his peers which is more than we could have imagined a year ago!