To think I don’t owe her anything?

[wakeupcallcoffeeandjuice]

I have a friendship group of three (including me) and we went out for drinks and one friend invited her housemate (they’ve known each other years, are best friends but first time we’ve met) and we had a great time and been out for drinks again as a group.

I was invited to the housemates birthday and I had to cancel the day before, I had a family event I forgot about and was genuinely sorry.

Anyway now friend has fallen out with me because housemate was upset I didn’t come to her birthday and housemate has made a big effort with me etc.

I feel a bit .. I genuinely like her and over time I feel like we would become friends. But I never personally invited to the two events she came to, she was asked by her friend and she willing decided to come, I made an effort with her too and made her feel comfortable. And I’ve met her twice, I’m going to put a family member before her and do an 1.5 hour round trip to go to her birthday.

To be told that someone is “upset” with you about not being able to attend the birthday party of a relative stranger is bat-shit. I think you’ve dodged a bullet

Your priorities were correct.
The flatmate is a drama queen

The "friend" is a cunt.

Family or not, if you have a prior engagement, you dont have to justify why you didnt attend.

Real friends understand. Cunts do not.

It sounds like they have a strange co-dependent relationship.

I can imagine getting mad a friend because they were not able to attend another friend’s party.

I don’t know about the housemate, but your friend sounds difficult.

Very strange!

Are you sure your friend isn't jealous of your friendship with the housemate and stirring up trouble?

Am I correct in thinking that you've only met the flatmate twice? If so then yes, your friend is being weird. Is she someone who likes to decide for others what they are doing?

In this case, I would probably just leave things as they are for now. If your friend likes drama then not hearing anything from you will starve her of it. When she does get in touch, be breezy and say that you've had a lot on - be friendly, happy and busy.