To ask DS if he wants to make Holy Communion

10 replies

WitsHaveEnded · 20/11/2023 13:24

DS is in Holy Communion year, in a Catholic school. He has been baptised but it was done mostly to appease religious grandparents and not because of my own beliefs. Now he is in a Catholic primary school who I've just called for info to be told "it has nothing to do with us you need to contact the Parish".

We aren't a religious family by any means, we only go to church for weddings and funerals. And as an adult I now very much believe religion is a deeply personal thing that should be decided upon when old enough to make an informed choice.

So WIBU to get his feelings on this? If he wants it we will do it, but if he doesn't would that be okay considering he's in a Catholic primary?

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notmorezoom · 20/11/2023 13:26

They won't kick him out of school for not doing it, if that's what you're asking. I guess could be an issue for secondary applications if needed for a Catholic school.

00100001 · 20/11/2023 13:26

if he hasn't said anything why would you bother?

topshotta · 20/11/2023 13:27

He might find it fun

tillytoodles1 · 20/11/2023 13:29

I was brought up as a Catholic, but don't go to mass very often. When I do I always go up for communion but he'll never be able to do that. Will he be bothered about that?

stayathomer · 20/11/2023 13:30

Do you mean you called to ask because they’re doing it with the school and you want him to sit it out or are they saying you make your communion on your own time? We’re catholic and about five children chose not to do it this year and there were no comments or exclusion (if that’s what you’re worried about). It is a huge decision for a child that age to make though and my kids literally were just doing it for the relatives coming over and the money (but loved the day in the end too!) think you’re better deciding for him.

KnowYouAreLoved · 20/11/2023 13:31

We are in a similar situation and yes I'd planned to ask whether he wanted to or not. It hadn't occurred to me not to. It's up to him.

I did all the sacraments at school and enjoyed it at the time, my DS is pretty interested in religions (of all types!).

Original poster

WitsHaveEnded · 20/11/2023 13:33

So it wouldn't affect his place at school now? That's good to know. I've never experienced not going along with a holy communion so I dont know how it all works, I remember doing mine and I hated every part of it, except for the party and gifts, but that's not what it's about is it. Secondary school - not too fussed if it's a non faith school as long as its a good school in general. He might find it fun yes - but days out are also fun, I don't know if I'd go along with it just for the fun factor..

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idontlikealdi · 20/11/2023 13:36

DTs were in a catholic primary and they did do FHC, tbh like @stayathomer they did it more the party and the fact their mates were doing it too. The prep was INTENSE though. We had to go to 3 months worth of 2 hour sessions after mass on Sunday, priest had to visit the house, we had to go and meet him to sign up in the first place.

A couple of kids in their class did it out of parish and a couple didn't do it at all. It wasn't a problem at all. They had an assembley afterwards were they got dressed in their FHC outfits again, the kids that didnt wore party clothes to celebrate with them.

They are confirmation age now and have firmly decided they don't want to do it.

ManateeFair · 20/11/2023 13:37

if he doesn't would that be okay considering he's in a Catholic primary?

The school have literally told you that it's nothing to do with them. Just because it's a Catholic school, that doesn't mean they have any say in whether your child has Holy Communion or not. They're not going to expel him!

I went to a High Anglican church school, and I've never even been christened. My family are atheists and there were also Muslim and Jewish children at my school.

Original poster

WitsHaveEnded · 20/11/2023 13:38

So when my daughter made hers 7 years ago it was very much ran by the school and they made it with their class. They gave us all the info about it, what masses we needed to attend etc (the school is linked to the Parish) but this year they're saying it's nothing to do with them.

I just feel more so now as I am getting older and no longer have parents to keep happy that it should be his choice. I am assuming if later in life he decides to embrace Catholicism then he can take the steps needed to then? I mean, he may well say he wants to make it and if that's the case that's fine. I'd just be the first in the family ever to not go ahead with one if he decided he wasn't keen 👀

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