For the last two years, my life has been pretty awful as my adult son has become a serious drug addict and is now working in the sex industry.
The pain has been horrendous, and I admit that I am fragile and on antidepressants.
My problem is that my husband’s adult son, his mother, and my daughter-in-law are constantly picking on me. They are all on the autistic spectrum and are really quarrelsome and argumentative. They are totally unable to praise anything I do and always say something negative to any of my opinions.
This just seems to be their way and the rest of the family is not bothered by it.
However, for me, I am really sensitive and I feel ganged up on and bullied and like I have no support system. I have not experienced this previously with friends or other family and leaves me feeling really miserable and undermined.
Last time I had them all over to stay, they made me cry at breakfast by constantly criticising my opinions (just chatty ones about supermarkets and local pubs). It’s like a knee-jerk reaction. I’ll say something and they will immediately knock it down. After I spent time with them, I feel incredibly exhausted and drained and negative.
I know it isn’t me because when we have someone nice or reasonable here, and they observe it, they are horrified.
I don’t know if it’s because they’re on the spectrum or just not very nice people, but I literally don’t want anything to do with them any more.
My husband either doesn’t notice it (he’s probably on the spectrum too) or gets out of the way and avoids what they’re saying, e.g. by suddenly needing to wash up. He is very non-confrontational and would not defend me at the time, although he did phone them afterwards and tell them that upset me. Apparently they said they were sorry but they didn’t say it to me.
Is it unreasonable to keep them out of my life with Christmas coming up? I just don’t have the energy for toxic people at the moment.
I’m willing to tolerate my daughter-in-law for the sake of my son, but I see no reason to tolerate my mother-in-law.
My husband recognises his behaviour and is working on it, but I can’t see any changes.