Class Party - SEN child - AIBU?

[Londforb]

I’m in my 50’s and DS is 4 and in mainstream reception. He has ASD but doesn’t get overwhelmed by noise and likes being around other people. He loves parties. So far at school, I’ve barely talked to the other Mum’s - and I don’t think DS has made any close friends that I’m aware of - and I feel fairly conscious that DS has needs - he may eventually go to a more specialist school. For DD I did several whole class parties but found them stressful : however it was easier as I felt part of the Mum group.
AIBU to : just stick to a small family birthday party for DS this year (there won’t be any children his age)?
Or if I am being unreasonable - should I attempt a whole class party to
try and integrate into the class more (expensive/stressful)?
DS can’t communicate to me who his friends are (if I attempted a smaller party), and will be happy either way.

If ds (whose party it is) doesn’t mind then don’t make life more stressful than it is - might it be worth speaking to teachers to see if there are any children who are interacting with him whose parents you could get to know going forward?

I would invite the close family and four little friends and their families.
Ask the teacher to choose who could be a good match for your son.
This way you connect to a few and your son has fun.
If no friends wish to come so be it.

Is it an option to take a cake to school?

Thanks @Dontsparethehorses

I have asked, and he’ll play alongside others if they are doing the same thing as him. He wouldn’t be able to communicate at a level to make a more established friend. He’s always happy through - default behaviour is happy.

I think that’s a good solution @user1492757084

Small family party I think. He's not fussed either way.

It sounds like a family party would be a good idea this year. Your son will enjoy it and less stress for you. You can maybe see how the next year progresses and think about a party with friends next year, he may have made some firmer connections by them.