To think that owning an expensive new car does not entitle you to be a twat?

[OrmIrian]

One of the miserable bstards in the accounts dept came and harangued my friend in her office this morning because he thought she'd made a microscopic scratch on the drivers door of his new BMW with her car door in the company car park. She put up with it for a while, they went to check and she showed him that if she had hit the car with her door the mark would have been in a different place. Security guard also joined in and confirmed that it couldn't have been her car. Which seemed to rile said bstard even more. He followed her back to her office telling her that is has to be her because it was alright earlier and he's parked it in an otherwise empty hotel car park the night before. Her partner is in hospital for an op as I type this and she's feeling very stressed about it. So eventually she burst into tears and shouted at him. He went to see her line manager to complain .

So should I see if I can persuade one of the dumper trucks currently working on site to come and see if they can make a real mark on his car door?

Or would that be unreasonable?

No, go and get that dumper truck NOW!

With pleasure. Can you tell them to also target the elderly Renault estate in the car park please - I could do with a new one

what a saddo to be so concerned about a car

Oh but it's a new car CD. So clearly normal rules do not apply

She should complain to HIS line manager..and the security guard can back her up!

god theres always one isn,t there
i vote get that dumper truck
but please wait till hes in the dam car

A scratch?? On his manhood??? She should have given him a brown paper bag and told him to breathe into it!! What a stupid get!!

Go down to his car, pull your pants down, put your arse up to the window and fart.

I'm much to polite ladyofwaffle. Could I get my cat to pee on his upholstery perhaps.

What a ridiculous man.

LL, if you hotwire a tank can I come too pleeease!? Can we drive it like Pierce Brosnan does in Goldeneye? I'm desperate to see whether tanks can really do handbrake turns!!!

try living in cornwall-the people with the big expensive cars drive badly as theyre terrified of scratching theit precious cars.so they go in the middle of the road etc.plus apparently the posher the car the more they cant reverse-funny that

o giveme,giveme i want a pink tank ...NOW

I would have called him a cock wart and told him to fuck off and that I hope that he gets nob rot.

But I am nice like that.

This jumped up little twat who used to live a few doors down once ca,e and knocked on my door to ask me (iun a very rude manner) to move my car from ourside his house because he couldn;t park his barnd new car there and he had to carry his shopping from the car park (less than a yard from his house) I was 41 weeks pg with DS1 at the time, and had bad spd. He picked on the wrong fucker that day. I moved my car eventually and noticed his new car was an Audi TT, so I called him a cunting chav.

This was a week after I stormed round to my then next door neighbour's house in my scary maternity nightie after they were drilling at midnight and threatened to ram the fucking drill up the bloke's arse and smash up his handiwork if he didn;t turn it off.

No wonder both of these men have since moved

oh Sheik, I think I love you!

I would be more low key about it. In fact, key is the word. They scratch really nicely....

There is a fucking lunatic woman who parks in Wolverton station (she looks like a mad old bag lady) who accused me of opening my door into her ancient Nissan Micra. Well actually, that's putting it mildly. She screamed "I seed ya damage my car! I seed ya do it!" I got out of the car and asked her to point out the damage. No damage. No damage at all, despite her peering madly one inch from the paintwork. She then straightened up and said "If I find it later, I'll have ya!"

I now make sure I park nowhere near her. Saw her having another go at some poor girl the other day. But Wolverton does attract nutters.

Ah. Yes. The subtle approach,sheik I think that might have caused quite a stir.

I do like 'cock wart'. Might become my new driving insult.

Using just a matchstick, you can let the air out of all his tyres. Which is kind of satisfying but doesn't actually make you liable for criminal damage. 2 tyres will suffice actually since he'll only have 1 spare.

Interesting camouflage on that tank! Is it deployed in LA?

How does the matchstick thing work, Soupy

sheik - take the black cap off the bit that sticks out of the wheel, insert matchstick (there's a little silver prong beneath the black cap that needs pushing down). If you hear a 'whoosh' of air, then you're committing an offence. If you can't hear anything, you need to try harder.

Filming your neighbours anger at discovering their flat tyres & posting said film on YouTube, will land you a spell in a tabloid newspaper.