Feel so so ugly

[pastaisgod]

Title says it all really.

I feel awful in myself and I'm not sure how I can improve things. I'm in my late thirties but I feel like I've aged so much in the past few years. My face is lined and sagging. My teeth are very discoloured. I am overweight (not by too much - I'm a size 14 but I have a really big belly and bloat in my face when I'm carrying too much weight).

But it's not really the weight that's the issue anymore. I used to think if I dropped a few lbs I would be instantly more attractive but it seems to run deeper than that. For example I have friends who are heavier than me but who still always look lovely because they have great style or get their hair/lashes/nails done often.

I do keep on top of my hair but have no time or money for anything else and I'm in such a style rut than I simply don't know how to dress myself nicely. At work it's wide legged trousers. At home it's leggings and sweatshirts. I feel like I always look scruffy.

I was out with a friend and our dc last week and she sent some photos she'd taken and honestly my heart just sank when I saw myself. Old, haggard, shapeless, limp flat hair and jowls ffs. How do I improve things? I definitely think I'd feel better if I lost a bit of weight but there's so much more to it. I just hate my face.

I know this sounds trivial and self indulgent but I really feel awful. Can anyone relate or offer any advice?

Would just start with trying to eat healthily and exercise a bit more, perhaps sign up for a 10k in 6 months so you’ve got something to aim for, get your hair done if you can afford it

I think eating better and exercising might make me a feel a little better. I don't look after myself on the inside and I guess that shows on the outside. However I feel like short of Botox (which I could possibly afford as a one off but not keep up with so it's pointless) or plastic surgery there's not a lot that can be done with my face!

I'm finding it hard to accept this is me now. When I was younger I was never a stunner but I would say I was quite attractive. Now I feel largely invisible at best and quite repugnant at worst.

Yes I doubt you’ll suddenly look like you’re 21 but losing some weight, eating more healthily and exercise will definitely improve your appearance as how you feel generally. If you can get support (my local coop did a lot weight loss programme and free app they recommended too) and draw up a little plan (even if it’s just signing up for a 5k in a couple of months)

Honestly if you get healthier you will definitely be able to see the difference in your face. Just make sure it's healthier physically as well as mentally.

When i started doing yoga and gym, people started commenting on random stuff like 'your complexion looks really nice' or just 'you look really well'...and I definitely haven't lost any weight!

Gosh OP I could have written this.

I feel exactly the same. Especially with the weight loss thing. I don’t even think it would make a difference anymore.

Recently I’ve been feeling people treat me quite strangely at times and I really do assume it’s my looks because I am perfectly pleasant in how I conduct myself.

im not sure what to suggest though! It’s hard.

I've had a pretty big belly for years (from multiple pregnancies). I did a bit of hula-hooping recently and that started to make a difference to my saggy stomach muscles quite quickly (after 20 years of thinking they were beyond hope).

Go to charity shops for cheap clothes and ENJOY experimenting and trying out new styles.

I cut my own hair (check online videos) and it turns out pretty well.

I look and feel ten times better if I put some lipstick and eye shadow on in the morning.

Exercise and diet are great too but some of the above can be pretty quick changes to give you a confidence boost.

Good luck and let us know how you get on. A few small changes can make a big difference.

Hey, I'm fifty. I'm falling apart more than you with less possibility of slowing it down! Mid-30s I caught sight of myself in the mirror, bending down to pick something up and was shocked. Dieted, first time ever, with absolute commitment. And I got slimmer, fitter, healthier and more confident. Kept good for ten years - now I have to yo-yo a bit on that but I'm only a bit larger than I was so I just have to accept the age factor being the bit I can't fight. The hardest is my eyesight no longer being perfect.

Anyway, you can do it. You can work hard and be who you want to be again...step by step, pound by pound, and friend by friend when you jump in to the socialising. Now you've faced the decline you can start reversing it. Best of luck.

Drink loads of water.

I dont always do it, but when I actively focus on making sure I do I notice an improvement in my skin, eyes, hair and energy levels within a week.

Weight training! It does wonders for fat loss, is way better than cardio and gives you a real sense of strength and achievement. The other thing I would do is quit drinking if you drink, and quit smoking if you smoke. Drinking is bad for the body and for the psyche, and smoking is bad for the skin as well as terrible for the lungs.

I'm sorry you feel like this. I echo the weight training suggestion. Sean caswy is a guy online who does some useful and achievable nutrion tips. Vinted great fotlr clothes at a snip of the normal cost.