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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Xmas Day - Lunch at 4pm - AIBU

349 replies

Moonshine5 · 19/11/2023 18:56

Following heated debate and reading a variety of threads. What say you Mumsnet community?
🎅
AIBU - that's a ridiculous time for Christmas lunch
YANBU - perfectly normal you heathens (note this is a light-hearted thread)

OP posts:
Pipistrellus · 19/11/2023 21:12

It's fine. Just have a late cooked breakfast at about 10. There tend to be snacks as well at Christmas.

AuntyMabelandPippin · 19/11/2023 21:12

We eat at five. We have brunch about eleven first.

Growlybear83 · 19/11/2023 21:13

I always aim to have the turkey cooked for about 4.30,by the time it's rested and carved it's around 5 when we sit down to eat.

minipie · 19/11/2023 21:14

Lesina · 19/11/2023 21:07

I’ll be on Phuket for Christmas so leaving these decisions to the people I’m not taking with me. I’m going to visit elephants and scuba dive :)

Sounds amazing

cakewench · 19/11/2023 21:15

If someone else is making the meal, I'll eat whenever they want me to.

If I'm making it: the later the better because no way am I spending Christmas morning faffing about making a huge meal.

TBH DS absolutely loves waffles so the last few years I've started doing a brunch/lunch of waffles and streaky bacon, and we're all rammed full until much later in the day. We don't usually want a massive meal on a waffle day so I've started buying in pigs in blankets and whatever other treat party foods we all enjoy, and bung those in the oven in the evening after we've had a good stomp around the countryside.

I'm originally from the US and our big 'get everyone around the table' meal is Thanksgiving, so that's when I do the big show. :) We do also like a Christmas meal, however it was always the lesser of the two in my family, and as an adult I can see why (mum clearly wanted to spend the day with me doing other things!)

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 19/11/2023 21:16

Depends on what else is happening Christmas Day .

I think if it was just DH and I, that's the kind of time we would eat. In the past though, we've catered to our parents who expected to eat at 1 pm, and now DS and his partner are moving between us and his partner's family over Christmas Day so lunch has to be earlier to accommodate an evening buffet . We'll probably eat around 2 pm .

PumpkinFence · 19/11/2023 21:16

Either eat at lunch or tea. I hate in the summer people doing BBQ’s where you eat at 4pm, just wrong, you either miss a meal or can’t eat as you’ve only eaten 2 hours before.

GettingStuffed · 19/11/2023 21:17

cardibach · 19/11/2023 20:13

Kids up at 5 confuses me. None of ours (by which I mean me and my sister and any of our children) have been up that early. By the time they understand Christmas enough to be that excited they are also capable of understanding they need to stay in bed until a more reasonable time. It’s better for everyone if people aren’t strung out an knackered.

Show quote history

DD still gets up at 5, a few Christmases ago she and DDilL were messaging each other waiting for their kids to wake up.

peachgreen · 19/11/2023 21:17

It’s fine. Ours will be about that time, I reckon. Life is too short to be strict about the time of Christmas dinner! It’ll be done when it’s done, and there’s plenty to snack on if you’re hungry.

Tulipvase · 19/11/2023 21:18

PumpkinFence · 19/11/2023 21:16

Either eat at lunch or tea. I hate in the summer people doing BBQ’s where you eat at 4pm, just wrong, you either miss a meal or can’t eat as you’ve only eaten 2 hours before.

Well surely unless it’s a surprise bbq, you know in advance what time it starts so you adjust your other meals accordingly?

Onemoretimeok · 19/11/2023 21:18

Any time between 1 and 5 works for me to be honest! Lunch at 1 means that there will need to be a ‘supper’ later - turkey sandwiches or cheese and biscuits. Dinner at 5 means that there needs to be a big breakfast or a brunch and then plenty of canapés in the afternoon.

We do it differently every year depending on when people are dropping in.

MermaidMummy06 · 19/11/2023 21:20

It's a personal choice. As long as everyone's aware of the plan and there's food during the day (if people are there).

My family eat around 1pm. Then a light dinner of leftovers about 5pm then everyone goes home. It's easy, relaxed, and up to 30 people. Everyone brings food & drink and helps out. It's hot here, though, and we do cold meats, seafood and salads. No major cook ups, stress, or any one person shouldering the work or cost.

But, we went to SIL's house a couple of years ago. A two hour drive away so left right after breakfast/hurried gift opening to be in time for lunch. We had two young kids & no food offered until 3:30pm. I had to ask if I could make a sandwich for my two about 1pm. We also had to leave for the drive home by 4pm so we had to shove it down & leave. It was a pretty sh*tty Christmas meal. If we'd known we could have planned accordingly.

BotterMon · 19/11/2023 21:21

We eat when it's ready. No set time.

itsmyp4rty · 19/11/2023 21:24

I can't stand it when you go to someone's house at lunch and you end up eating at 3:30 or 4. What meal is that? I want lunch at lunch time and dinner at dinner time - and that goes doubly at Christmas. Breakfast just isn't going to last me 8 hours and i don't want to spend all day eating chocolate.

Crikeyalmighty · 19/11/2023 21:25

@willWillSmithsmith that's what we found during covid- we were in Denmark on our own at the time as UK gvt stopped flights on 22nd dec - so my son and FIL (84) could no longer come. We decided actually we would rather eat late afternoon /early evening - did that and we much preferred it- the Danes actually have Xmas dinner on Xmas Eve about 6.30 .

MasterBeth · 19/11/2023 21:29

PumpkinFence · 19/11/2023 21:16

Either eat at lunch or tea. I hate in the summer people doing BBQ’s where you eat at 4pm, just wrong, you either miss a meal or can’t eat as you’ve only eaten 2 hours before.

I don't understand adults who can't figure out that they might sometimes need a snack to tide them over between meals.

If you know you are eating at 4 and you really can't cope without food until then, eat something small at 1. Don't have a full meal two hours before. How is this hard?

CornedBeef451 · 19/11/2023 21:29

We usually around 5pm. Means we have a relaxed morning, bacon sandwiches around 11am and no getting up early to put the turkey on.

Pipistrellus · 19/11/2023 21:30

PumpkinFence · 19/11/2023 21:16

Either eat at lunch or tea. I hate in the summer people doing BBQ’s where you eat at 4pm, just wrong, you either miss a meal or can’t eat as you’ve only eaten 2 hours before.

Surely you know you are going? So you have either a bigger breakfast later, or breakfast then elevenses?

Sunnydays41 · 19/11/2023 21:30

YANBU.

We actually tend to eat Christmas 'lunch' just before our usual dinnertime, so about 4.30-5. Gives the DC their usual routine of having the main meal later in the day, plus means we're not rushing to cook it for lunchtime when we could be spending time with them.

We just have a more festive lunch of cheese and crackers and other snacky bits.

I've never been a fan of meals in between normal mealtimes, so couldn't be doing with it at eg 3pm...

Upwiththelark76 · 19/11/2023 21:30

Christmas dinner in our house is between 1-2depending hoe organised we are

Gingerbee · 19/11/2023 21:31

I never do lunch at my house. We have Christmas Dinner.
A good night in the pub or restaurant Christmas Eve. Church and brunch. A sail on the Loch or a a good walk.
Dinner anytime it is ready.
If I visit the inlaws lunch at Noon on the dot.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 19/11/2023 21:32

Foodieasfuck · 19/11/2023 19:55

We once invited our lovely, elderly neighbour as he was going to be on his own.. he couldn’t get his head around our eating time. We told him to come for 2pm ish as we were eating at 4pm.
He had always eaten at lunch time when his wife was alive. Different families have different traditions, I suppose.
We found out, that he had actually eaten his lunch at 12 anyway so wasn’t that hungry by 4pm… ( he normally eats dinner at 5.30pm).
We explained to him that we tend to have a late breakfast and skip lunch to leave room for dinner. It blew his mind…

My parents and FIL were both like that, FIL in particular .

Whereas I seem to be completely lacking in routine . I often don't have my lunch until 4 pm. OTOH sometimes I have to force myself to wait until 12 as I'm fancying lunch around 11 in the morning.

soundsys · 19/11/2023 21:32

4pm is a completely normal, civilised time for Christmas lunch! That said, due to small children ours is earlier nowadays but I'm slowly pushing it back!

Pipistrellus · 19/11/2023 21:33

itsmyp4rty · 19/11/2023 21:24

I can't stand it when you go to someone's house at lunch and you end up eating at 3:30 or 4. What meal is that? I want lunch at lunch time and dinner at dinner time - and that goes doubly at Christmas. Breakfast just isn't going to last me 8 hours and i don't want to spend all day eating chocolate.

You eat at 7:30 or 8am on Christmas morning? We would have coffee, get up and dressed, open presents, then breakfast around 10.

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 19/11/2023 21:33

IMO it's ideal. Large brunch at 10:30 and then pick at stuff til dinner. That way only need to prep 2 meals. Then cheese and crackers, chocs etc in the evening.