Pestering his twin

[glimmer82]

My twin boys are 9. They get on great which is a joy and it's lovely how different they are but it's causing a problem.

Twin 1 hates playing alone and is an extrovert.
Twin 2 loves playing with his twin but sometimes wants to play alone (more into his toys) so he says no then Twin 1 pesters so Twin 2 is starting to give in all the time to stop the tantrum (Twin 1 can be a champion tantrummer).
DH feels he’s got to entertain them 24/7.

Twin 2 isn’t getting headspace when he needs it!

I've just explained no means no and as much as he loves to play, everyone needs a bit of quiet time now and then and he will play later. To help with his confidence, I asked him if can he think of a couple of things he can get on with like reading/drawing but he won't give his bro any space. He has two settings, screen or active play/roughhousing. He can't self regulate on a screen and too long makes him grumpy so I have to limit it.

He has just got some play dough out but it's taken 20 mins to get here!

He needs to learn tantrums at 9 are unacceptable you can be upset and disappointed but not tantrum do people always give in to him? Feel sorry for his brother I would remove him so he's not distracting his twin

This may be true and is very easy to say but as a parent of twins I found it was particularly difficult to parent these types of situations as they turn on a pin. A twin sibling relationship is very different to the parenting I did with their elder siblings.

It is challenging. Any tips alldone?

His brother does get time alone when his twin is watching something/in the bath etc but it's trying to say can you wait a bit whilst he plays what he wants then he'll play with you later!

Tantrum is strong actually. He used to tantrum when younger but it's more stropping now.

He absolutely loves playing with him. This is a very recent thing and I step in when he's said no and he says yes come on. If he's said I'll play later, his brother moans....'but what do I do now?' Natural I suppose.

I've just spoken to them and said no or not now means you can have more fun later but if he wants to play alone, leave him be.

It certainly is and much harder than 2 unrelated of the same age. I use come and do X with me, help me with strategies.

You just need to be firm and ignore the strops.