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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if a nursery is necessary

15 replies

coffeedrinking · 19/11/2023 14:50

We have two bedrooms in our house. One is the spare which we could decorate and use as a nursery but I’m not sure if there is much point.

We will hopefully be moving house in a couple of years so DC would be around 12-18 months at that point.

Our room is fairly large and could accommodate a full size cot or toddler bed, particularly if we moved the drawers around. I don’t know if we would be better perhaps having the spare room as a dressing room; containing all our drawers, wardrobes and possibly a drawers unit for baby in there as well.

I wonder if it’s a nice experience and exciting to decorate a nursery and if we should do it if only for this reason. But then I think of the practical side of things… they would surely spend very little time in there at all in the first 6 months-one year. They don’t care or have understanding of how it’s decorated and this is a home we will definitely move from, and likely soon. I don’t know what will work for our family.

Can experienced mums/parents please weigh in? Thank you

OP posts:
JJJSchmidt · 19/11/2023 14:53

Having a nursery is not an essential, definitely. However you may come to view it as one, depending on your circumstsnces/experiences. Both dds moved to their own rooms at around the 7mnth mark and for me it made a huge improvement to me feeling like I was my own person again rather than being just boobs on tap for dd! It also allowed dh and to to relax and not need to creep around etc.

ksmo · 19/11/2023 14:53

Practically yes they will get very very little use (if any) of the room.
However I also agree it's a nice thing to do and almost a right of passage I think. The nesting hormones really need something to focus on haha.
Also you will be shocked how much STUFF the baby has, and how stressful it is at 3am rushing to find what you need or rummaging in the morning for a clean vest just as you rush out the house etc. So definitely need their own designated spot/room for all their things that you can keep organised well. So for us that's what the nursery have been invaluable for. Nobody has ever slept in there yet though, 2 kids later!

ksmo · 19/11/2023 14:55

Also I agree with PP that if you can get them in their own room (if they're a decent sleeper etc) then that will be great for you and your other half. Less creeping around.
Even if just for day time naps.

If you never even change the room and leave it full of other stuff so there's no choice to change your mind quickly then you might be trapped with baby in your room!

BreadBag · 19/11/2023 14:57

My kids had a bedroom,decorated nicely for babies/toddlers but slept in our room for first 6 months.
We never called their room a nursery but they did sleep better in their own room. Also obviously better for our relationship (if you know what I mean) to not have the baby in our room after the newborn stage.

ksmo · 19/11/2023 14:58

Sorry just totally thinking out loud here and should have condensed into one reply haha

But how about a compromise where you do a nursery but just very plain and low key. So strip the room. Lovely and clean. Paint the walls white or beige or something neutral and inoffensive. Nice rug down or whatever, just an IKEA job. And then either some drawers for baby that you already have or some from Facebook/IKEA. Maybe a desk in the corner if you need an office space, or a wardrobe/whatever you need for your stuff. Make it a really function room. Don't go all out with a Pinterest/insta worthy nursery but just a lovely calm functional storage room that also has space for a Moses/crib/floor bed or whatever you need over the next couple years

Richie23 · 19/11/2023 15:02

I think if you’re planning on moving in 12-18 months time then don’t go overboard with decorating a nursery. I have a 9 month old and we moved him into his own room at 6 months and he sleeps soooo much better than when he was in our room. Plus is really nice to have your own space back, be able to sit in bed and read or chat to your partner without waking baby up etc. So I definitely think having their own room is a good idea, though you’re right that it won’t really be used much for the first 6 months. Even now we hardly use the room except for him to sleep in and store his clothes, as he’s always downstairs with me when he’s awake.
Maybe just do basic decor for now and then once you’ve moved house you could create a lovely room for baby that they’ll actually be old enough to use a bit more.

platinumplus · 19/11/2023 15:04

Are babies not meant to sleep in same room as you for 6 months anyway?

First child we did the room but he was barely in there.

Second child we didn't bother doing the room until he was ready to go in there.

trampoline123 · 19/11/2023 15:05

You'll definitely be wanting them out by the time they are 1, you'll all sleep much better.

I don't think you need to full on kit it out though, as long as it's clean and safe, has a bed and somewhere to put their clothes.

platinumplus · 19/11/2023 15:06

ksmo · 19/11/2023 14:58

Sorry just totally thinking out loud here and should have condensed into one reply haha

But how about a compromise where you do a nursery but just very plain and low key. So strip the room. Lovely and clean. Paint the walls white or beige or something neutral and inoffensive. Nice rug down or whatever, just an IKEA job. And then either some drawers for baby that you already have or some from Facebook/IKEA. Maybe a desk in the corner if you need an office space, or a wardrobe/whatever you need for your stuff. Make it a really function room. Don't go all out with a Pinterest/insta worthy nursery but just a lovely calm functional storage room that also has space for a Moses/crib/floor bed or whatever you need over the next couple years

This is a great suggestion

Sleepygrumpyandnothappy · 19/11/2023 15:06

If you’re moving in 12-18 months I wouldn’t do anything yet. The baby should be in with you for the first six months. Maybe at that point they’ll be the type of sleeper and you’ll be the type of parents who can move them into their own room, but it doesn’t need to be decorated as a nursery. But it’s perfectly possible baby will end up staying in with you until 12months plus anyway.

MummytoAAandX · 19/11/2023 18:30

You don't need to decorate it as a nursery especially as you're planning on moving but I'd definitely try and move them into their own room at around 6 months. It makes such a difference for them and you.

myotherkidisacassowary · 19/11/2023 18:49

Definitely not essential. I personally found that I slept a million times better once we moved our son into his own room at 6 months, but that might not be your experience. You can definitely wait and see how things go before making a decision.

Natsku · 19/11/2023 18:52

A nursery isn't necessary. If you feel the need to move them to the other room at some point, just move them then. No need to decorate or anything like that if you're going to be moving soon (no need to decorate anyway really, they're hardly going to care at that age - its just for the parents and if you're not fussed about it then just don't do it)

HoratiaTipperlong · 19/11/2023 18:53

Absolutely not essential. Once our DC moved out of our room, they went into spare bedrooms. When they were older, we moved, and they had 'proper' bedrooms.

Pipa42 · 19/11/2023 19:02

Was fine without a nursery for mine, babies/toddlers much prefer it in mummy and daddy’s room, more comes down to you and your husband being happy with the arrangement

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