Doing your child's hair

[EsieMum]

DD is 4, in reception, everyday she has either a ponytail or one single french plait (on particularly productive mornings). Even on non-school days I don't so much more than that, mainly as I don't have the skills and because I don't see the point. I work full-time, 3 kids, DH works full-time too. Just getting to breakfast club dressed and before 8 am is enough for me.
However one of my friends, DD the same age seems to always have her DDs hair done beautifully, I'm not convinced my DD would sit for it even I did have the energy or will to do it. It's always so lovely looking, so I'm a little envious!!
I don't really see any of the other kids in DD's class, shes usually first in to breakfast club and DH does pick up. So now I'm wondering is my effort lackluster, should I try do more? Do you do your child's hair in the way I'm describing or is the ponytail still standard?
AIBU to think as lovely as friends efforts are they are unnecessary?

I cannot do French plaits to save my life! I always felt bad for DD with a boring ponytail when other little girls had lovely elaborate plaits. She's 13 now and can do French plaits on herself which I'm in awe of!

What you're doing is definitely more the norm, OP. My girls are 8 and 4. Most mornings I'm trying to tie ponytails as they're running out the door. French plaits are certainly beyond my skill level!

My DD has curly hair so she either gets it sprayed with leave in conditioner and scrunched or put in a pony tail if very messy.

Both take less than a minute.

I have a curly 3yo girl and feel a bit like this. Her hair has to be sprayed, combed and scrunched every morning just to look half decent, but once that's done, it's generally a half up style or sometimes basic pigtails. I'd like to learn to do french plaits on her hair, but it's very soft and slippy still so I always cock it up!

I can't do hair, it's weird because i can do other things like knit, crochet, friendship bracelets and the logic is the same but every time I've tried a french plait it just looks shit.

So DD gets ponytails.

I love watching YouTube videos of people doing fancy plaits in girls hair and wish my daughter would sit still long enough for me to do it.
She the type who it's lucky to get a comb near her.
Would your daughter want different hair styles? If yes then just have a few sessions of trying things out (not before school obviously). I've always thought it looks like a nice mother-daughter bonding thing 😂
But to be honest if you can french plait - you're already a step ahead of many folks.

Ours always have a choice of 5 hairstyles for school days, they pick them and we do them. 2 plaits, 1 french plait, 2 buns, ponytail or 1 bun. When you master simple styles they don't take much time, all these styles take about a minute to do now.

I rotated the hairstyles I could do - French plait, Dutch braid / cane row, pigtail plaits or a ponytail plaited. DD is mixed race and has curly hair, so it needed to be looked after and braided to protect it (and to avoid nits!).

I didn’t do anything elaborate. It’s school, not a fashion show.

One of DDs friends used to have elaborate hair designs at that age. Lots of intricate plats, but her hair was thin so you could see lots of scalp, I wasn't keen tbh.
I'd mix it up a bit with easy styles. A braid that goes into a pony tail, two pigtails, two pigtails that are plats. You get the idea. I never had much time to do DDs hair, but you can do lots of different 5 minute styles. Also, invest in some nice school coloured scrunchies, bows and clips. They make a big difference.

As long as she’s having her hair tied back for school and it looks neat and presentable it really doesn’t matter how it’s done. If she was expressing interest in having her hair done in different ways then it might be worth learning a few more styles. But if she’s happy with what you’re doing already then why change it? I think fancy hairstyles should only be done because the child enjoys it, not as a way for parents to compete with each other.

I don't understand why this is a question.
All parents will do their kids hair different, just like adults have different hairstyles.

I had two dds both of whom liked their hair done in particular ways.

I'm not actually particularly good-I can manage a raggedy French Plait at best. But they did like a variety of different ones. I used to use ribbons to get a different look often. Dd1 sat beautifully still, dd2 didn't, so dd2 had simpler hairstyles.

Ones I did that looked exotic, but weren't hard or time-consuming included (the dc's names for them):
Bunny ears (two ordinary plaits with a bobble top and bottom and the ribbon tying the two bobbles together so the plaits were in a look)
Front plait (French plait over the front of the face)
Bobbles: A bit like French plaits but doing a series of bobbles as you take more hair in. You can plait between bobbles too.
Inside out: Do a French plait the wrong way round. So rather than taking the outside 1/3 to the middle, you take the middle 1/3 to the outside.
Plait ponytail: Do a small plait from the front hair, then tie in into a ponytail. For added colour, plait a ribbon into it too.

My dd (6) has long ringlet curls - if it's a hair wash night I plait it at night in two plaits - this keeps it neat the next day.... if (which is common) she takes her hair out at school then the next day it's a a simple ponytail or bunchies!

I don't often have time to wet it and re-condition it in the morning in order to style it but if she has a hair wash in the morning I might do a bun or a French plait - if I have time, but then I get frustrated that the style took me ages and she's undone it again at school anyway!!

DD get a choice of bobble, scrunchie, clips, hairbands or bows, but the hair itself is either in a ponytail, pigtails or down & held out her face with hairband.

I have two boys with short hair. So, no I don't spend a lot of time doing my kids hair.

She is 4. At this age, there is no need for extravagant styles unless she did something like dance concerts every weekend. When she is a few years older, then you can start trying different styles and teach her how to do them herself.

Bit mean calling your friends efforts 'unnecessary'. Are you jealous? I love doing intricate braids (on myself!) because I enjoy it and they look great. When my LO's hair is long enough, and if she's willing, she'll be rocking boxer braids, fishtails, Dutch braids etc etc.

I'm rubbish at plaits etc, so I just did a pony tail for my DD. The huge benefit of this is that she taught herself from a very young age. She's brilliant now!

I used to do nice hairstyles for DD every day. Now she's in Year 5 and won't let me!

I think the tone of your post is ‘unnecessary’. 🤔 Let’s all be disparaging because another mother wants to spend time doing her daughters hair. Does it matter?

In my daughter’s class there were some girls with immaculate hair every day and others who looked like they were allergic to hairbrushes. A tidy pony tail is perfectly fine.