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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask when your nipples stopped hurting - breastfeeding

67 replies

Pip1402 · 19/11/2023 09:13

Sorry, posting here for traffic as I'm desperate.

I've been breastfeeding my newborn since she was born 17 days ago. Multiple midwives and a feeding support worker have checked the latch and said it's fine but my nipples are still very painful and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Is this normal? Do my nipples just need to toughen up a bit more? I've ended up supplementing with formula and using nipples shields at times because of the agonising pain. I'd been clinging on to this getting easier after 2 weeks but it hasn't yet. I really don't want to give up but don't know how much longer I can take the pain.

Any positive stories of people who just needed to persevere for a bit longer and their nipples started to cope? How long until it stopped being painful for you?

OP posts:
BorisIsACuntWaffle · 19/11/2023 11:05

Pip1402 · 19/11/2023 09:28

Thanks so much for the replies. I am using the nipple cream and the silver cups religiously and they have been helping a bit.

The initial latch is very painful but then the rest of the feed usually continues to hurt, generally a constant pinching feeling. A piranha is a good analogy! Then my nipples are constantly sore afterwards, my left one is permanently painful at the moment even when I'm not feeding.

I have huge boobs compared to the baby (32G/H vs 6lb 5oz) so I'm wondering if that's having any impact. It makes it difficult to see much of the latch but I'm trying my best to make sure she's getting the areola at the bottom in her mouth and the nipple's pointing to the top of her mouth.

I feel like I've done all of the reading and watching and learning about it I can possibly do over the last 2 weeks and it's sending me a bit insane. I desperately just want to be able to feed her without dreading it each time.

@Pip1402 there's very little support for feeding with bigger boobs,

Sounds a bit crazy but make sure the whole nipple is going in the mouth (pinch from behind so get all of it and put into open mouth)

I've fed two with similar bosoms and it was hard work at first .

If you want to pm feel free 🫂

BorisIsACuntWaffle · 19/11/2023 11:07

Get a feeding pillow, put baby on top of that. And rest baby's head on wrist not elbow.

Butterfly44 · 19/11/2023 11:10

Yes it can be agony. I gave up first time as didn't have the knowledge and support. Second time HV said persevere and it will get better. Omg - she was so right!! I got so upset no one told me this before. Your nipples undergo some sort of change and it then becomes ....lovely, easy and enjoyable. I know it's rubbish right now OP but there is light at the end of the tunnel! It will not be like this for too much longer

Original poster
Pip1402 · 19/11/2023 11:37

VintageTuppence · 19/11/2023 10:55

36 years ago so this may not even be a thing any more, I ended up using silicone nipple shields. I don’t know if I could have continued otherwise. Babies 2 and 3 were no problem.

Edited

Thanks for your reply. Did you use them throughout or just while your nipples healed? I'm using them on and off at the moment to get me through the worst points.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pip1402 · 19/11/2023 11:40

icclemunchy · 19/11/2023 11:02

It shouldn't hurt at all really*

Its worth seeing if you have an infant feeding team or LLL group nearby. Midwives and HVs often have very little breastfeeding specific training and as you're finding just because the latch looks good doesn't mean it actually is.

Breastfeeding should be like a new pair of shoes, a well fitting pair may be a bit uncomfortable until you're used to them but shouldn't be agony.

You can absolutely hold the breast if that works for you, think of it like you eating a big burger or sandwich, you squish it a bit it make it fit. You can do the same for baby. Just make sure you're squishing the right way for the angle of is mouth 😁

*some pain on first latch can be really normal and as someone above said if there's damage the pain can linger a little.

Haha I like the burger analogy! I'm not actually sure which is the right way for the angle of the mouth though? Like a burger going in flatter or squeezed at the sides to fit the o shape their mouth makes?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pip1402 · 19/11/2023 11:42

@BorisIsACuntWaffle Thank you 🙏 (love your username)

OP posts:
Original poster
Pip1402 · 19/11/2023 11:43

Butterfly44 · 19/11/2023 11:10

Yes it can be agony. I gave up first time as didn't have the knowledge and support. Second time HV said persevere and it will get better. Omg - she was so right!! I got so upset no one told me this before. Your nipples undergo some sort of change and it then becomes ....lovely, easy and enjoyable. I know it's rubbish right now OP but there is light at the end of the tunnel! It will not be like this for too much longer

Thanks, I really hope so! Can you remember how long it took to feel lovely (or at least just not like sticking my nipple in a blender)?!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 19/11/2023 11:43

Have you checked for thrush? I always got thrush in the nipples when I used nipple creams rather then rubbing breast milk on them and letting them air dry.

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 19/11/2023 11:44

I think it's a settling in thing. I had initial pain with my first but then exclusively feed till I got pregnant again. DC2 I expected feeding to be a breeze but I had exactly the same initial nipple pain and engorgement issues all over again. I found hot and cold compresses helped, painkillers and not feeling guilty for whatever you have to do to get through

Original poster
Pip1402 · 19/11/2023 11:46

Thanks again for all of the replies. Sorry I can't reply to everyone individually but I have read and appreciate them all!

I'm a bit stuck for transport at the moment but will see if I can get to a support group soon. I'm also hesitant to leave the house because the baby is feeding all the time and I can't really wince in public with my boobs out!

OP posts:
Margaritawithlime · 19/11/2023 11:47

I had huge boobs when breastfeeding (M cup!) and also struggled with latch. Look for flipple technique I’ve linked a video here.
BUT it shouldn’t hurt. My second baby hurt. A LOT. And she had a posterior tongue tie. The difference after it was released was amazing. It was missed when she was born and picked up when I drove to the clinic 5 days after my c section bleeding from both nipples and begged someone to check again because I knew something was wrong, had she been my first baby I wouldn’t have had a clue how it was ‘supposed’ to feel and would have given up it was so painful. Good luck I hope you get it sorted. Flipple technique here

Wide Pain-Free Latch for Beastfeeding Using Thumbs-Up or Flipple Technique

Improve your latch with this easy checklist - in cradle and football hold. (Checklist not viewable on your phone.)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=deKN3wJ17Mk

icclemunchy · 19/11/2023 11:49

You want your fingers to be aligned with baby's lips, so if you're feeding in a cradle type position your finger and thumb will be pointing pretty much straight down. Make sure you have your fingers back from the nipple so they can get a nice big mouthful.

I'm gonna drop you a pm

Noidlet · 19/11/2023 11:49

I have similar sized boobs to you. Always held them in position and baby was in rugby hold. First 3 weeks with both children were very painful. Used nipple cream and shields, for longer with my first.
Do double check the tongue tie thing though, it is often missed. My second child has a very slight one but still currently BF at 11 months. Hasn't caused a major issue.

It is a horrid pain and the feeding time dread is real but did pass quickly.

BorisIsACuntWaffle · 19/11/2023 11:53

@Pip1402 yes like a nip sandwich 😂

MatildaTheCat · 19/11/2023 11:57

I used nipple shields for five months. It was the only way I could continue and although feeds took longer it worked. I also usually only fed from one side so the other side got a longer break and fed for a decently long feed so neither of my babies were snackers and usually went 3-4 hours between feeds.

i used a dummy for comfort sucking and often fed using the rugby ball method and tons of pillows.

Good luck, do whatever you need to.

Xmasbabyxmas · 19/11/2023 11:58

About 6 to 8 weeks for me with both babies. No tongue tie and latch just fine. Needed to toughen up. Using silicone shields when I couldn't bear it and tons of cream did the job. I also had very painful letdown which may be some of the pain you're feeling, particularly if the pain is intense and then eases off after 30secs or so. It does get better. Nipples like old boots now 😂

shaniahoo · 19/11/2023 17:32

Pip1402 · 19/11/2023 11:37

Thanks for your reply. Did you use them throughout or just while your nipples healed? I'm using them on and off at the moment to get me through the worst points.

Show quote history

Your experience sounds just like mine and I never figured out a good latch, instead I used nipple shields permanently and fed for 4 years with them! I just wanted to let you know that because people talk about shields like they have to be a transitional thing only, but actually if they're working well for you, you don't HAVE to wean off them. I only started to enjoy breastfeeding once I had been told that. Best of luck to you x

Ygfrhj · 19/11/2023 17:53

Shields and dummies saved breastfeeding for me. I also had intense pain and sore, cracked nipples. Tongue tie was diagnosed but they didn't think it was severe enough to cut it. Eventually she got bigger and stronger and better at latching, my nipples turned to leather and it stopped hurting after a month or so. I was very determined to make breastfeeding work after not having the birth I'd hoped for, otherwise I would have stopped for sure.

KombuchaKalling · 19/11/2023 17:56

Not sure. Mine hurt for a month and then l quit breastfeeding. I was sick of the endless pumping to increase my supply (it didn’t!), sore breasts and fucked hormones (night sweats often coincided with pump time). My sceptical side is it always hurts but it’s one of those things people omit to tell you when you’re pregnant

StormInaDcup99 · 19/11/2023 18:38

I used to cry an hour before next feed was due in anticipation of the pain. Was like using sandpaper on my nipples!

At about 4 weeks there was a massive diff and ended up feeding mine for 12 months n 18 months

It was def worth persevering.....but yes....I fell your pain x

AhBiscuits · 19/11/2023 18:47

It lasted a good few weeks for me. I started singing baby shark while feeding as I put it down to DS being pretty rough. It did stop though and I fed him until he was 3 and had no problems after those first few weeks.

WeeSleekitCowrinTimrousBeastie · 19/11/2023 18:51

By about week 4.

I took painkillers which helped.

Noseyoldcow · 19/11/2023 18:52

When the baby is not on them, get as much air on your nipples as you can. I'd say do some topless sunbathing, but am assuming you're in the Uk, and it's November! Part of your problem will be that the nipple skin is chapped, and the soreness keeps getting raked up whilst the nipples are toughening up. If you're fair, the skin on the nipples is apparently more likely to chap. I am very fair and my nipples actually bled with my first child, though only fir a couple of weeks, and despite that it wasn't actually agony whilst I fed.
I too am big breasted, and I would support the boob with my opposite hand, with the nipple between the first and second fingers. That way I could angle the nipple right to get all of it in the baby's mouth - think of how you'd aim the teat of a bottle in, and aim your nipple in like that. Right in. I used to let down with a gush and choke the poor child, but if you gently press against the breast around the nipple with those two fingers you can stem the flow a bit.

FKATondelayo · 19/11/2023 18:54

I'm going to add to a few PPs and say it never hurt in three years of breastfeeding. Even when I had mastitis. It felt tight sometimes and when the baby grew teeth he could bite occasionally but I don't think pain is normal. Good advice here about latching and also have you checked for tongue tie/thrush.

Christmasaaarrrggghhh · 19/11/2023 18:58

Excruciating for all four of mine, all the time. I served 4 months but then stopped. I really wish there were less of the patronising ‘you must be doing it wrong’ comments and some honesty that for some people it is indeed just agony. I know that midwives are supposed to encourage it like mad but gaslighting tired and emotional new mothers into thinking it’s their fault is just wrong.