Who should sleep in the spare room?

[EverythingA]

DH has started snoring since he's put weight on.

I've tried wearing earplugs but it keeps me awake, it's loud.

Going to have to sleep separately as I'm starting to really suffer with sleep deprivation - my question is, who should sleep in the spare room, me or him?

I have the same issue, definitely him.

Mine has a few times and I've had a much better night. He has been to a sleep clinic though and had to accept that after they found he snores 87% of the night that I might have actually been telling the truth when I moaned and nudged him all night. He wouldn't accept it before that. It makes me sad that that is the answer as I don't like sleeping separately.

Him obviously. He’s being selfish if his snoring has got worse with weight gain! When it improves he can come back. Don’t think that’s unreasonable if it’s having such an impact.

Thank you for your post - I'm sorry you're experiencing it too. I agree, I dislike sleeping separately, we've been sleeping in the same bed for 13 years with no issues until now.

I feel it should be him in the spare room but wasn't sure if that was unreasonable.

He has been denying he snores (!) so I asked him if I could record it, he said yes so I did. Now he acknowledges he snores but hasn't done anything about it.

I'm feeling annoyed because it's an easy enough fix, it's 100% caused by his recent weight gain. If it were me, I'd be doing anything I could!

I'd say it should be him.

How seriously is he taking the snoring? I'd be very unimpressed if he wasn't at least trying to address it.

I currently sleep on a single mattress on the top landing floor. Combo of selfish local cunts and a dh who borderline snores /heavy breathes.

Please persuade him to see the GP. I put up with this for 10yrs, wore earplugs, slept in the spare room at times and sat awake listening to the breathing stop- shaking him- then hearing the gasp for air! If you looked up the health risks of sleep apnoea, it really is worrying.

DH finally got a CPAP machine 18mths ago. Its absolutely silent! He has lost 10kg due to having the energy in the daytime to exercise and not nap during the day. I'm not in the process of weaning myself off needing earplugs to sleep!

In the end, I called DH's GP practice and booked him an appointment. If I hadn't, he could be dead by now, so please take it seriously and try to get him checked.

He should, but if he won’t and you have to move ,make the room yours not the spare room.

I don't think it's as simple as him having to sleep in the spare room because he's the one who snores.

In our case, my husband sleeps in what was our room. It is "better" than the room I sleep in because it has a bigger bed and an en-suite bathroom.

He has it because he is considerably taller than I am, so needs a bigger bed, and has a dodgy prostate, so needs the en-suite more than I do.

Your husband needs to see a doctor about his snoring.

Whomever it is more practical to have in the spare room. This shouldn’t be adversarial

I wish he would!

I agree with the poster saying he should see a doctor before a decision is made. My DH began snoring heavily 10 years ago and after a visit to the GP and a referral to a sleep clinic he was diagnosed with sleep apnea. Your DH will likely be told to lose the weight or wear a CPAP machine. My DH had not gained weight but was recommended to do 1/2 hour cardio exercise a day. He used the machine 6 months until he no longer needed it due to the increased exercise. Mind you, he loved the machine. After a couple of days adjustment, he admitted it had been a long time since he had a sleep so deep and restful.

If your DH doesn't want to go to a doctor, then it's the spare bedroom for him.

You. If you are the one unhappy/can't sleep, then you should be the one to move.
I happily moved into the spare room about 20 years ago, decorated it how I wanted it and was very happy in there until we moved. Still have my own room now 😊

I also sympathise with preferring to sleep together, but we sometimes have reasons for needing to sleep apart, so we keep the spare bed made up and take it in turns to sleep there when needed. Can you make both options equally nice?

We’ve now established 100% separate rooms for sleep and I’ve chosen the spare room for various reasons.

We haven’t made the leap to moving clothes etc around, which is becoming inconvenient, but feels like a bigger step somehow.

I don't think it matters who goes into the spare room as long as you both get a decent night's sleep.

In our house, it's DH who moves rooms as I have a bad back so can't sleep on the air mattress.

It does feel a bit sad, I don't know why.

He works long hours 6 days a week so it feels like I see him even less now, even though realistically sleeping next to each other isn't exactly quality time!

He's gone before I'm up and doesn't return back home until 7pm, and we're both ready for sleep by 10pm.

I think that's a good idea for me to create another bedroom, maybe just for myself, he can stay in the current room.