To think you don't need to include this information

[PestilencialCrisis]

Don't know if it's a general trend to include these extra details these days or if I am just noticing it more...on a Facebook "spotted in" page, someone recently posted "I'm a single mum and need someone to come and connect a washing machine"

On another FB group, someone was asking for donations for someone whose house had burned down and they said "x has 3 children (one with autism)"

Aibu to think that "single mother" or "autistic child" are odd/irrelevant details to include in such posts? As if a married or childless woman's washing machine requirements would be different or a parent to 3 neurotypical children would be any less deserving of help after a house fire?

Vulnerability Top Trumps, innit. It's my most-hated thing about the 21st century, probably beating wars and climate disasters.

I'm a lone pensioner with disabilities. Special treatment for me, too!

I think they are stressing that as a single parent or parent of as child with Sen their life is probably harder than most

If she hadn’t put ‘single mum’ someone would probably comment ‘why can’t your husband do it?’, the ‘one child is autistic’ is to tug on the heartstrings hoping people will be more generous I suppose.

They're making an emotional appeal - hoping perhaps to connect with someone in a similar boat who is willing and able to help them, based on their own experience of needing help.

They want whatever it is cheap, that's the only reason they do it.

I see it all the time in my local FB groups too and most of the time it is totally irrelevant.

It's basically looking for special consideration.

I saw one a few months ago actually.

"Looking for someone to cut my grass and tidy my garden up so my autistic child can play in it".

Whereas, "Gardener needed to cut my grass/tidy my garden", would've done, but wouldn't have prompted at least 3 people to offer to do it for free.

There was a fire in a restaurant near me a couple of years ago which spread to the flat above. Lots of concern on SM about the owners of the restaurant and the occupier living above - who posted later to say she had actually just moved out, had all of her belongings with her and was fine. A week later she was all over SM about how she was a single mother who had lost everything in the fire and was asking for toys, home stuff and donations so she could set up again. She was just trying it on and it made me so sad, so many kind people were responding with help and donations.

Yes, you are right. It soon transpired from the comments that the single mum wanted someone to do it for free.

For the person posting about their friend whose house burned down, she was asking for furniture, kitchen appliances, clothes, plates, cups, cutlery etc. I think people either have this stuff to give or they don't. And surely information about the ages/sizes/sexes of the children might have been more relevant details to include!

This is exactly what I mean! 😂 Glad I'm not the only one noticing these posts

Shocking that anyone would like about something like that.

I know they're usually after special consideration, but cringe when I see posts that tell you they're alone and vulnerable in their homes. No way would I tell a stranger my address in those circumstances.

Yes, the posts are targeting people’s kindness and asking for discounts, but is that really so wrong?

A “single mum of three children” is going to have more washing to do and less income to sort a washing machine with than a married childless man, so is it inappropriate for her to mention it? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, you are right, I hadn't considered the husband comment.

Right too about the heartstrings, I just think surely people would want to help a mother of three whose house had burned down regardless of what her children were like.

their usp
grabby
but probably works,
single mother has no furniture

male has no furniture

who would you donate to?

Good point!

It's the X-Factor sob story effect

I am diabetic on insulin (T1D).

I installed my own washing machine myself because I wanted to save the £35 installation fee.

People need to understand that trades are people who run a business. They aren't able to offer constant discounts or do free work just because of your shitty situation in life.

People in my area are getting sick of it on Fb and are starting to make comments. A common plea at the moment is for a "cheap hairdresser" to do balyage / come to the house and do X complex colouring service. All of the begs are for it to be at less than cost price. A few local salon owners and home hairdressers have piped up to advise them of the costs of these requests and the time it takes.

Another common one is for a cheap plumber or electrician. Their rates are their rates. They don't charge less because you have 9 kids or you've have Covid.

Unfortunately I'm also seeing more questions about trades who will take payment in installments which is a sad sign of the times. I guess they can't get credit (I've been there!!) but again, trades will rarely be able to offer this with such a high level of risk that they won't get paid.

Spot on!

Exactly this. It’s hardly rocket science.

Ive picked up on here recently a sort of , idk, jealousy of people who are diagnosed with ND, or their children are. As if they’re seething that things are finally being done to try to level the playing field a little bit, or even to acknowledge the difficulties.

Same about single parents - some people seem desperate to deny that it’s any harder than having two parents involved.

Its like people really don’t want anything done to help people whose circumstances are more difficult, as they might lose the advantage they have by being NT, being in a couple etc.

Just my take!

I understand all of this re trades btw and if it’s not possible it’s not, my answer is just specifically about the question of why these things are mentioned.