To practice laizzere-faire parenting

[KitKatrunchie]

Anyone do this?

Yes and no. We raise them but keep out of their decisions and don’t micromanage hobbies/friendships/school. I encourage them to be polite, hygienic and do their homework. I had very controlling parents and while I was ‘successful’ I was also stunted. It’s probably taken the same amount of time as my childhood lasted to regain some measure of confidence in my own decision-making powers. Extreme example but since I know what fucked me up I try to avoid making the same mistake. I say ‘it’s up to you’ a lot.

Why are people so obsessed with this type of parenting?

are you scared of your children? Can’t be bothered to raise them? You don’t care enough about how they will integrate in society as a child and then later on in adulthood.

The least parents can do is teach their children and prepare them to be as equipped as possible to face the real world and interact with people. This approach doesn’t do that.

See I understood benign neglect as being more the opposite of helicopter parenting and that’s absolutely what I do. So manners, respect and helping around the house are non negotiable. However, I do not run my kids lives - from an early age they sorted their laundry, tidied their rooms, packed their own bags, made their own lunches and took responsibility.

Consequently they are now late teens, polite well mannered, respectful and INDEPENDENT! Feral kids are a nightmare but kids who are helicopter parented are also a nightmare in their own way.

Stop doing everything for your kids!!!!!

This is the definitive answer for you OP.

I reckon this is a reverse and OP is actually a teacher - wondering why the current generation of parents don’t do any parenting.

Is this the kind of parenting that involves allowing your kids to run riot in restaurants?

Possibly learn French first?

Please don't. I teach and little children feel safest and secure where there are clear boundaries whilst also being nurtured. They know their parents care.
Laissez-faire parenting just makes some kids think that nobody really cares so they push their behaviour further and further.
It might be an easy option when they are teeny but you may regret it if they hurt themselves or get in trouble later and are out of control.

If you can’t spell it, don’t do it.

Soixante-neuf.

As for every type of parenting, there are probably some children for whom this would work for. For strong-willed children, I imagine it would be a disaster, because children are not equipped to make the wisest decisions and understand the longer term implications of their decisions. Likewise, anxious children need gently interventionist parenting imo - a parent "behind the scenes" supporting, talking through, giving a push at the right moment - and too much scope for decision-making would probably be overwhelming. And on the whole, I think you're asking a lot of children to set their own boundaries - you're essentially delegating your role. Have you ever tried saying to a small child "you can eat whatever you want today but you need to get your own food"? It doesn't lead to a happy, secure child. But I suppose it might be possible to find that perfect blend of laid-back but conscientious child for whom laissez-faire parenting might not be disastrous.

This is how children can grow up to have SEMH needs.

What does your DC's father think of this method of parenting

Probably easier said than done!

Well it’s a huge spectrum that means different things to different people. Allowing small kids to dig holes in the garden and run about barefoot and choose their own outfits and live on breadsticks and hummus (or whatever their current favourite food is) occasionally isn’t going to breed a menace to society. You can be laid back and ‘hands off’ while still maintaining boundaries about safety and politeness. All this stuff means different things to different people in the context of culture. If you’ve got a child that’s generally well adjusted and functions well in social settings and isn’t a pain in the arse then you’re probably doing okay even if you let the be feral and unstructured to some extent at home. We are not homogenous though, some kids left to their own devices are creative and independent and some kids are naturally more inclined to mischief and drama and need more guidance. I’m a believer in parenting the child you have not to your own ideology.

Laissez-faire is correct.

Laissez-faire parenting sounds about as good an idea as laissez-faire economics.

Boundaries make children feel safe and secure. So do with that information what you will.

I’n not entirely sure what you mean but your OP jumped out at me, so suspect I may have.

It’s all worked out ok tbh

Children crave boundaries and need to know the adults around them are in charge.

Where parents don't give them this they can go completely nuts behaviour wise. A friend of mine doesn't impose proper boundaries at all and as a result has an anxious 6 yo who hits her and is constantly pushing the limits, trying desperately to find boundaries.

Yes do that. In fact we should all join in. What a wonderful world it would be having children make their own decisions and rules. Let all the children be free.

I had a friend whose parents where like this. Her mum would buy alcohol for her and any friends staying over. Be at the home, so everyone's parents thought it was supervised, but not supervise at all. My 13-14 year old friend slept with various guys at these parties. She ran away, shacked up with a much older guy and never finished high school. Her younger sister was violent as a teen. We lost contact a bit after she ran away so I don't really know what happened to either of them. This was all pre FB and social media, because I'm old. Kids need boundaries and consistency, the way my friend's parents parented really messed her up.

Exactly. Everyone will hate your kid and it's your fault. No one wants that kid and you will be that mum

i had to google this
i do a form of Permissive parenting but mostly follow the radical unschooling lifestyle as my kids disabilities and educational style call for it
one has PDA the other ODD(and many other disabilities)

i technically did it since birth(04) but didn't know what the style was.
i was just different and a bit of a hippy and just head strong in my own choices.
i didn't have a HV as i opted out ,co slept ,fed on demand, cloth nappies ,weaned early as both babies were massive and greedy
if i could i would have breastfed but never produced any milk

other son is 13 and i did the same thing

it wasn't until oldest was 4 and didn't start school and i then found out what RUL was and has followed it ever since

many home educators ive come across either do radical unschooling(a lifestyle or parenting approach) or un schooling(a educational approach)
ive been HE since 2015 and in may meet up groups and the thousand upon thousands that's in Facebook groups do the above and ive never come across anyone who home schools or does school at home(google it its the opposite to home education)

many disabled families also follow gentle parenting as a "normal" parenting style(what society perceive as the norm)does not work for ADHD/ASD kids

@KitKatrunchie the OP started a thread saying teenage girls are bitches, so her ‘parenting’ technique (if she’s choosing to do that) seemingly isn’t going brilliantly 😂