This isn't the first time I have done this. It's the second, but this time it's permanent, unless I am being way too mean.
I'm halfway through my second pregnancy and my DH keeps telling me everytime I engage with her, I become miserable and withdrawn.. which is what prompted me to start considering the decision.
I have severe trauma from her from my childhood. She was on drugs (but denies it, I know its true because I've read my SS reports from childhood and her records) and she dumped me on a family friends doorstep when I was three and didn't have proper contact with me until my early teens. When I went back to live with her at 13, she starved me and physically fought me for doing normal teen stuff, like wanting to start wearing makeup, or having a slightly messy room.
I met a boy at 15 (now DH :] ) and I had to run away the same year where his lovely mum took me in. SS agreed to this as I was safe and happy there (DH was more of a bestfriend than a bf at that age, as we were still a little immature) but my mother had to pay MIL my child benefits. She didn't, and spent all my money on hair and nails and lashes. MIL had to spend her own small income on a whole extra child, and I'm so thankful for her kindness every day.
When I was 19/20, DH and I got our own home and went on to have our first son, who is doing really well.
But he has NEVER stayed overnight with my mother, because she has become religious (Jehovahs Witness) and likes to make him do JW things when we aren't looking despite telling her we don't agree with the religions beliefs. She tried to force take him to their 'church ' meeting and I was furious. Or she makes him join in on prayers etc.. which I have asked her not to do.
Now baby no.2 is on the way and the day of my gender reveal, she made the entire thing about her. How it wasn't fair that DS1 won't be staying with her when I go in for DS2. (I had already arranged for lovely MIL to have him because I trust her.) And she told me I'm horrible and treat her like she is diseased ....
I explained to her I didn't like her religious disrespect, and asked her if she had forgotten that she abused me my entire childhood (which when wine drunk, she had apologised for.. so she is aware, I think.) About a 3 paragraph message- and she read it and has ignored it for days, but blocked me from seeing her socials. I asked her to acknowledge it and she just sent that she was 'processing' with an emoji.
48 hours later and she's hidden her WhatsApp status from me, and she's still not responding despite me being the child who was abused by her.. not the otherway round. DH pointed out it made me depressed and withdrawn again, and my best friend has told me to just cut her out for good because she is clearly a narcissistic person and has no value in my life. She's never spent money on me, she's never hugged me (unless its to be cordial infront of others), and she's always been rude and demeaning to me even as an adult. I've bought her gifts and tried my best to spend time with her to repair the relationship but I just can't anymore..
AIBU to cut her out for the foreseeable future..?