I'd really appreciate some opinions, even if they're quite harsh.
I have a cat, adopted 4 years ago. He was a very nervous and shy thing, but with lots of affection I managed to get him out of his shell. He has become used to lots of love and fuss, sleeping on bed etc, and is still wary of loud noises.
When I adopted him, I didn't intend to have a baby, but circumstances change and I had our firstborn in the summer. The cat has reacted very, very badly. He ran away for a while, which resulted in him getting fleas. He's now back, but is a cringing, cowering wreck, and is overgrooming himself to the point of pulling out huge patches of fur. He won't come near me to take any medication. He's scared of the baby, scared of me and my husband. He's lost lots of his 'territory' because I don't want him in the bedroom with me and the baby, and the living room is usually filled with playmats etc that I won't let him walk on. Our baby is full on, screams a lot and is not sleeping, so I have very little time or ability to give him the fuss he wants. I'm completely exhausted which doesn't help. This has been going on for nearly 5 months.
I really don't know what to do. I love him so much but he's really unhappy. I've tried everything I can think of (pheremome spray, providing cat cave etc). I would previously have thought so badly of a new parent rehoming a cat, but now I can't help but wonder if it's the kindest thing for him. I know at some point I'll have more time/be less tired but we'll also then have a mobile toddler, which will inevitably scare him. He'll also lose more space in the small flat when the spare room becomes a nursery. We will move somewhere bigger at some point, so he'd have to cope with a house move.
I honestly can't see the wood for the trees on what's best for him. I love him, and seeing him be so unhappy is awful.
YABU - the kindest thing to do is to rehome
YANBU - hope that he gets more used to the situation and it improves.