Am I failing at parenting?

[HamsterBanana]

My ds7 is very upset with me, today he asked if he could have a birthday party for his birthday next week!

I asked him months ago if he wanted a party and he said no, and never mentioned it again. Turns out today he's told his friends at school he's having a party and is now hysterical I haven't booked him a party.

With the cost of living I just can't afford it a month before Christmas with a weeks notice which is why I asked months ago if he wanted one.
I've told him he can have a big party next year - not good enough.
Am I failing at parenting here? I'm so upset seeing him in tears he hasn't had a birthday party before and had his heart set on one apparently, I can't have a party at mine as I have animals that would get scared & it's a tiny house.

He's having a day out for his birthday and a family member is visiting for the week for his birthday but now I feel awful it's broken my heart seeing how upset he is. Just need another parent to tell me it's okay and to give my head a shake!

He had his chance to say yes, he wanted a party and now he's left it too late.
So that's a lesson for him there.

Plus the cost of it, which you can't afford and even if you could, you probably couldn't get booked into a soft play venue at such short notice anyway.

Tell him next year, as you've already said.

Your ds is desperate to fit in. Little children could be very cruel. I would find a way to move the animals out of the way and invite a few friends over. Chicken nuggets, cocktail sausages and coke from Asda plus a few decorations. It could be done for £50.

yes do the party!

but just make it in a few weeks time

He’s a 7 year old boy. very little grasp of time and planning.

i would 100% do this OP.

He needs to be able to hand out invitations

give him this, even thought it’s a pain in the arse. and i get that.

but you really do not need to do it in a weeks time! just say it will be the week after

I asked him months ago if he wanted a party

he is 7 OP. 7

Can you take him and 2-3 friends to Soft Play after school and a kids meal afterwards?
I've done this with both DC and it was fine as far as parties go.
Oe do a birthday tea - again after school- and a movie with a few friends...

I disagree you son had a chance to say yes. He probably didn't even hear you. I used to say to my children when we lived on breadline that even the Queen couldn't possibly buy everything she wanted. However sometimes one needs to be creative. I remember one year in November I invited a few of my son's classmates to the local playground and had Pizza Hut delivered. Everyone loved it and very little cleaning afterwards

Okay I guess I need plan to raid a bank vault
Going by these comments!
It's £100 for a hall, then £125 for a Dj or bouncy castle.

the son.

who is 7 years old.

and “months ago” asked if he wanted a party

at that moment in time, he probably didn’t

we can’t judge 7 year olds by the same standards as adults

oh god op

read the posts

OP I think @Tiredbehyondbelief had a brilliant solution! No need for a hall or anything, the park & some pizza is perfect. It's just having something that's for him with his mates. Don't even need to do pizza, some fun packed lunches would be great.

Could he pick two or three friends and you take them to the cinema / soft play / Pizza Hut or something and call it a party? I’ve done years ago the Saturday morning kids cinema where it’s an older movie so the tickets are cheap, then you could take snacks, and maybe a birthday cupcake or party bag at the end?

No one is saying you need to do that.

Either sort out your animals FGS so that your son can have some friends over for some party games and pizza

or

take a few of them to local soft play (one of those good for older kids)

Oooo if you do do something I don't think it needs to be that big? Could you just take him and 5 friends to softplay? Round by us that would only about £20 and then a bit more for food?

a dj?

seriously op. come on now.

soft play. 2pm
90 mins
make clear that you will be serving birthday cake but no tea .

done and dusted for under £50

I don't know how posh is where you live. My children went into mostly middle class school. I went to many McDonald's parties. Honestly, you don't need to splash out. But a little party is definitely required for your son not to lose his social standing at school

Nooo!

Best budget party we have had was a "treasure hunt" in the local park and a couple of hotdogs with ketchup.... it cost peanuts and its one of DC favourite birthday parties.

You don’t need to raid any bank. Tell him he can pick 5 friends and have some pizzas and cake after school.

The sad thing is that the less money people have, the more the desire to do big things.
For my dc, a dj would be a once in a lifetime type party. And I can afford it. But I wouldn't throw my money away on something my phone can do. Not sure where you live for halls to be £100. £15-£20 an hour round here. No need for a DJ.

It's 2 hrs in your house with a few of his friends, up to 5 would be plenty.

• Move the animals outside or upstairs
• push the furniture against the walls
• do frozen pizzas and ice cream sundaes where they can put their own toppings on
• stick a movie on, or music, or video games
• put up a few balloons and at some point let them have them to throw about, stick between their legs, pop by jumping on them.

Then send them home hopped up on sugar.

Total cost

• 4 x frozen pizzas - £8
• tub of neopolitan icecream - £2.50
• Asda/tesco own bags of sweets for toppings -£3
• raspberry sauce -£2
• bag of balloons - £1

You could do it for under £20, if you wanted to add sides then do some chips or wedges, instead of party bags buy them a pot of slime each for £1 a pot from The Works, you could either bake a cake or just buy one for under £10 fr9m the supermarket, so basic level £20, but £40 would get you the extras as well.

Can't you invite say 3 of his friends and go bowling. That's a good party for his age.

He’s 7. You need to find the money.

Quite frankly though you shouldn’t have just left it up to him like that. You’re the parent - you should have taken charge. Lesson learnt for you there.

Like others have said. You can make this happen with very little ££.

• take them to Brewers Fayre for soft play and a cheap meal
• have a small party at home with frozen food and party games
• playground is a good idea!