To want to do community Christmas lunch for my own benefit?

[SparklyLight]

I don't even know what's available, if even anything is.

But for the first time in my parenting life, I am without my children at Christmas. Rather than wallow in my own misery or be around my family with their children (which would hurt more) I really like the idea of contributing to other people and helping out on their Christmas dinner somewhere. I think I've got a lot to bring to the table (no pun intended) because I am cheerful and bright and can hold a good conversation, but more than that, I am a good listener. Maybe I could find something that is put on for elderly who live alone or Homeless or something? I've got no idea what might be available if even anything is and I wondered if I'm being entirely selfish and unreasonable by even wanting to do that for just one day. The reason I say this is I looked at the Salvation Army but it seem to be. They want you to become a volunteer generally and it didn't sound like it would be all that easy to do just one day. The truth is, I have too much going on to make a regular commitment at this time in my life, although in the future, it would be something I would definitely consider. I'm really after something just for literally Christmas day.

AIBU? Has anyone else done this and found it was helpful to those they contributed to as well as to themselves? If so, what kind of thing did you get involved with?

It sounds like a lovely idea

I read recently that the kind of volunteer session you’re looking for are fully booked many months in advance of Christmas. That it’s at other times of the year there are shortages of volunteers.

Op, how about seeing if any of your neighbours will be alone and put a meal on for them. Loneliness is horrible. Especially at a time like Christmas.

StrawberryJellyBelly's idea appeals to me - if there is no one fitting the bill near you, your local Age UK or similar, might be able to put you in the right direction, you could even take lunch to someone,whi is housebound. It's certainly not selfish OP - everyone who does charity work, benefits personally in some way. Goodluck finding something that suits you

Ask on your local Facebook groups or pages. Local churches or community centres might be running something that you can volunteer at.

YANBU. There is a reason why soup kitchens and various charities that provide services for homeless people are inundated with volunteers for Christmas Day but not the rest of the year.

A church in my town do Christmas lunch every year. They are currently advertising for volunteers to assist, including drivers to help get some people to and from the event - not just the kitchen work but also the chatting, serving, cleaning up etc.

Have a look on the community pages for your area on social media, you might find things there.

Thank you very much for the YANBU votes and for the helpful suggestions. I will try to find out about the local community or church arrangements and have looked at the local age UK organisation which I will contact on Monday.

With regard to the local community arrangements, are there literally local community groups on Facebook in the postcodes area? I've never even thought to look at such a thing and would be quite embarrassed to advertise but certainly could go and see if anything is on a webpage somewhere in my local area.

Thanks again to each of you 👍

@SparklyLight are you by any chance close to grimsby? I am on the other side of the world, but a good friend started Not Home Alone many years ago and I know that they would always take a volunteer

Oh how I wish I was, that sounds perfect! I feel there are people in organisations out there, just waiting to be found and I need to somehow uncover them. That would've been perfect, but I'm a very long away from there. Thank you for thinking of me, all the same.

What part of the country are you in? There's a community Christmas happening in a village in the SE that I'm aware of, well that's if they find a chef or someone to take charge (they had someone who had to cancel). The notice I saw said it would probably be for around 70 people and there seem to be other volunteers but no one to lead.

On our local Facebook group someone said that the local old people 's home wanted volunteers for Christmas day, so you could try contacting any local to you.

YANBU, I think this is why a lot of people do this. You could maybe put a post on your local facebook page and see if there are any organisations looking for volunteers for Christmas Day?

I have volunteered at a local community centre on Christmas Day and it’s been lovely. They host anyone who wishes to go for a small (£10) fee. People are collected by volunteer drivers then spend the day having lunch, games, king speech on tv etc. Volunteers have lunch with the service users too. Plans and volunteers will have been organised for some time by now but you can contact your local councillor, church, community centre, food banks. They should know about local events. They always need help in December and in Christmas Eve to prepare as well. I hope you find something.

Here there's a few Christmas lunch projects, working with the homeless, the lonely, refugees... contact your local volunteer organisation (usually called voluntary action .... (add name of city/town/county) for information.

In addition there's always a need for volunteer drivers to take older people to church Christmas morning, whilst most don't have lunch programmes, we like many try to get those spending Christmas alone to church and have light refreshments before taking them home around 11.30/12 - without public transport many rely on others giving up their time to bring them.

If you are in the Bristol area theres definitely multiple projects desperate for help

I think most charities are inundated with Christmas volunteers. You could go away for a retreat type thing for a few days, or maybe put on a lunch for a few people in your community

You could check to see if a local church is running something and if they don't, they might be really grateful if you wanted to volunteer to do it (using their kitchen/building).

Not to be a killjoy but if you were to do something like that, you'll likely need to produce hygiene/food handling certificates plus as you could be working with vulnerable people, it's wise to have an up to date DBS.

Why would being around your family with their children be more painful than spending it alone or with strangers? Seems odd if you are saying you’d only be wallowing in misery on your own.

also I think most community kitchens, soup kitchens, churches want people to roll up their sleeves and help with the food and serving, not just sit there being witty and intelligent to talk to.