Collections for team members birthdays, anniversaries, illness but never mine. Should I still give?

[tryanotherone123]

I work in a team of 6 people. Everyone cares about birthdays, anniversaries, illnesses etc even sick pets and over the past 3 years I've contributed to many collections for colleages so we can get them something nice to recognise whatever the important moment they are having.

During that time everyone else has had something nice for birthdays, there's been 4 people with big wedding anniversaries, several collections for people who've been ill, a couple of pets with surgery. There's quite a fuss about it and a show of caring.

In all that time there has been no collection for me ever - no acknowledgment of my birthday, or the time I was really unwell and of for several months. I've turned 50 in that time, and not even had a mention in a team meeting.

I don't think anyone cares. Why am I being left out?

Should I still contribute to other peoples collections?

I have stopped putting into lifts. I was off for 5 months after a serious mental health crisis which saw me hospitalised. Not even a card. 2 other colleagues have been off with big collections taken for them. I now don't add to any collection

Definitely stop contributing. They sound like dicks.

Has it ever been acknowledged that you don't get anything at all?

Depending on the dynamic and how I felt about it I'd either quietly stop giving or actually comment on it so people are aware. I know it sounds stupid but some might not have noticed despite it being a small team.

Do they know when your birthday is? They’re not allowed to go through your personnel file to check, so you would need to tell them at some point.

If they do know, then that’s shitty. Collections in our work-place vary massively. I’ve stopped donating to big whip-arounds, and now just focus on my small team.

This sounds exhausting- collecting when people have ill pets?!? I'd definitely stop - might even say you are saving to celebrate your own milestones as no one else seems to...

That's rubbish OP. Yes, I would stop contributing. You can either say why or you can just say "sorry, I haven't got anything spare at the moment" and let them slowly catch on.

At the place where I walk there is a "please put in £10,£15 or £20" and contributers are expected to write the amount they put in. Offity piss!

They either don’t know when it is, have presumed that you don’t want a fuss, you’re the person who makes collections happen or they don’t like you very much.

Omg that’s horrible. We used to have an envelope go round, you just ticked when done but never the amount. Now it’s done online as teams are across the U.K, so the team leader knows how much people put in, but others don’t

I don't contribute to collections at work, after it got to the stage people were doing collections for peoples dog's "birthdays".

Talk about taking the piss.

definitely do not contribute.
I wish these collections would just stop. I think proper friends will gift individually.
I stopped contributing once I realised what was going on at my place of work and I didn’t care what anyone said about it, nor did I care if I received a gift or not. It meant nothing to me.I just passed the envelope along without saying anything.
Someone once said to me , ‘Work colleagues are your best friends as long as you sit next to them ‘ and once you are out of their radar, they couldn’t give a toss so I definitely wouldn’t be going to that meal either.

In my experience there was always disparity and people who organised these collections were never transparent about the amount collected.
I was always suspicious of one particular person who jumped at the chance to wander around the office collecting money in a transit envelope then producing what appeared to be re gifted presents.