To feel sad about returning to work?

[Mummy251]

I go back to work next week after maternity leave with DD4. I have 4 children (7, 5, 3 and 10months).
After being offered an excellent promotion, I will be going back full time over 4 days. I feel as though I am already mourning the loss of time spent with my children however. I have greatly enjoyed being there for every school pickup/drop off, being able to go to toddler groups with my youngest two and just generally soak up being a mum to young kids.
I don’t feel like I can turn down the job due to cost of living/same opportunity may not come round again… but I don’t want to miss out on the lovely activities with my littlest or be there for the other three during the week or school holidays.
That being said, I have always worked part time since having children so perhaps it is the fear of the unknown, and I will still have Wednesdays off to spend with the smallest two and do pick up etc? My older ones have always loved wrap around care before I went on maternity leave.
AIBU? Will it be ok?

Did you feel like this when returning from your previous maternity leaves? It sounds from your post that you and your DC had settled into a good routine prior to this leave, so there's no reason to think it won't be OK this time, too.

I didn’t feel as sad on previous occasions, probably because I only worked 3 days before and I was always home before dinner. Now I will be doing 4 days and coming home around bedtime.
But like you say, I am sure we will settle into a routine, and I am planning to use the extra cash for a cleaner so I can have proper quality time with the children on my days off. My DC go to a school where there are a lot of (lovely) SAHM, I have enjoyed being part of that world for a while but perhaps I just need a dose of reality!!

Using the extra money to give more quality time sounds like a good way to go, and with the compressed week you will really feel the benefit of of your Wednesdays off.

I'm sure it will be fine once you settle into a routine, but worst-case-scenario, if it isn't - it's a job, you are ultimately in control - you can at any time renegotiate your hours or look for another part-time role. It might allay your anxiety if you give yourself a deadline to see if it is working - six months, say - and commit to revisiting if, having given it a reasonable trial, it really isn't working out for you.