Hi my husband I feel is being irrational
i told my mum that I put Vaseline under the nose to stop dry air and she said that’s a horrible thing she’s never heard of - I then told her that my husbands aunt who is a retired medic told me to try it.
later my mum called my husband and told him that vaseline is a horrible thing and he said I was applying it
she then told him that his aunt recommend it
when the call ended he said that my mum insulted his aunt by what she said - literally the above.
Then in front of me he insulted my mum but not to her face he called her “s” in Arabic . And I told him to apologise he said no - that her behaviour is “s**”
I said she didn’t say his aunt or his advice is horrible. He also referred to the past when my mum said his aunt and other Arab friends gossiped about her in front of her in their language.
we then sit at the table to argue and at the end it transpires he voice recorded our argument and said all his evidence against me is “top notch” and he will show the kids the recordings one day if ever try to get him in trouble for emotional abuse .
As during the beginning of our relationship I lashed out and smacked him/scratched him due to undiagnosed autism. I am better now but he has kept his “evidence”
also he didn’t want another child and only agreed if I said I would visit his family in Middle East last month which I didn’t end up doing and he said I tricked him and lied. I was 6.5 pregnant last month and don’t trust the air quality on the Middle East
he’s Arab been in the U.K. 9 years I am half Arab and been here more than 20 years.
I feel sick I share a bed with someone who has piles of recordings it feels like a freak show not a marriage. We have normal days but arguments escalate quickly. I need more help with chores and he still pulls faces when I ask for help.
he calls me “horrible” daily if I admit I was forgetful about something or I didn’t mean something he never gives me the benefit of the doubt and just says “see youre just horrible”
im now resenting the baby and want to drive off tonight into a dark lane and not come back I did it before but he doesn’t come looking for me he’ll just tell my parents and worry them