To think these people aren't real friends?

[nikkinakers]

We met a couple through our daughters nursery and had a few play dates and became quite friendly over the past year, they ask us favours and have done favours back and we've met up for drinks after the children went to bed and had sleepovers where we've been invited until late to have a drink and it's always been a laugh.
However we've been friends on fb with the mum over a year and dh recently tried adding the dad who we socialise with quite often and he declined it despite still being friendly to dh.
Is this not really a friendship, this man has many fb friends and lots from the nursery so to not want to be friends with dh feels like we aren't really friends and I we should back away or just be nice for our dc but leave it at that, what do you think?

How did you vet your friends before Facebook?

Maybe he declined by accident? I'd not read too much into it.

Idk, maybe he is trying to stop using facebook. Could be a genuine reason.

🤣

?

Hahaha

Another 🤣🤣 here

If he has a lot of fb friends and a lot of people are from nursery then it was possibly accidental, maybe he doesn’t know he’s done it. It sounds like they are your friends. Why don’t you ask him?

How do you have nursery aged children and a husband, as you’re apparently 12 years old?

This is hilarious! They are actually real friends, not Facebook friends, and because the guy wants to keep it as a real life friend, you think he's not a real friend?

People go through phases with Facebook. Maybe he got fed up with all the nursery people adding him and has decided to just decline new friends. Maybe because you are real friends he feels no need to add you on Facebook.

I currently have several real life friends that I am not Facebook friends with. They haven't sent a request and not have I. I don't need to see them on facebook because I Whatsapp them most days and see them in real life.

Why are people ROFL? It’s deeply strange.

How to you know he's rejected instead of just not responding? My husband and I have deleted all social media off are phones and don't use or check it but we haven't deleted out accounts as they have lots of pictures from uni, so from a quick look it would appear like we have lots of FB friends etc.

Either way, it would be much more important to me how they treat you in real life compared to on social media. I wouldn't doubt the friendship over this

He just left it for a couple of weeks so dh undid the friend request, but he was quite confused as he thought they were friends that's all.

So he actually didn’t decline it? Then probably didn’t see it. I’ve missed many requests before and my dh hardly ever uses fb , so perhaps he just doesn’t bother with it.
I think you’re thinking far too much into it

He didn't decline it then. Some people just don't go on Facebook that much ( I use messenger all the time so look like I'm on it, but don't check my actual Fb page much)

That’s entirely different from declining your request. I know people who have a FB profile but don’t log in or engage for weeks at a time. Not everyone uses it to socialise.

Omg I have about thirty friend requests I just haven't got round to accepting as I don't use fb

Because the person has ongoing and genuine connection with people, sees them often and being invited to spend time with them, yet she disregards all of this on the basis of one meaningless act. By her standards, I have 700 very close friends even though I never see any of them and some of them I have never met at all. I guess I really never thought of my dry cleaner and the guy who makes local honey as my besties, even though both are my “friends” on Facebook. Do you really not see humour in it?

OP, I say this with kindness and as someone who is far too facebooky

You are reading waaaaaaayy too much into this. Just enjoy the friendship and forget about Facebook.

Genuine question without snark, how old are you OP? Facebook isn't for the young or vital, it's an older/middle aged social app these days and many people I know are on it but either hate it and barely use it, or just use it for following brands/shop/local information and don't post or make friend connections.

It seems odd that you'd expect them to accept a request if you're already friends in real life, he probably hasn't even noticed the request.

Ok so it looks like we overthought this (a lot) and will just continue to be friends and not give it any more thought, it's put my mind at rest so thank you

I have 120 Facebook friends. I stopped adding people about 10 years ago and haven't updated my profile at all since then. I just use facebook for private groups these days. I've had lots of friends requests since then and I just ignore them. It's not a slight at the request, I just don't think they need to see my 21 year old self.

Glad you're feeling better OP! I really wouldn't read into it. I've got about 50 friend requests I haven't replied to as I just don't use FB anymore

I hate Facebook. I'd refuse anyone if I went on it.