Twins

[Duechristmas]

Listening to the radio earlier, the woman being interviewed was defining her whole being as 'but I have twins' and fishing for sympathy for this reason alone.
I propose that whilst the first year is hard, twins are easier than kids of different ages as they're into the same things at the same times, hit their milestones at roughly the same times and start and leave school at the same time.
AIBU?

Do you have twins?

I don’t but have multiple sets of twins in my family. Not sure I agree tbh but I’m sure every experience is different.

I think twins are harder for a lot longer than the first year, but once they start school there isn't a big difference between two 5 year olds and a 5 and a 7 year old, for example.

My sister has twins and 2 more 18 months apart. She said the 2 18 months apart were far harder then the twins as they were at different stages when they were little.
The twins were born were her youngest was 10.

In some ways it's easier but there's also the cost to think about it, often they need new things at the same time and there's no opportunity to pass down. Not just clothes though - when they're older it's driving lessons, university, weddings etc.

Do you have twins is also my question before l can comment

I have twins and it is hard, but they are still young. I don’t define my life by it and I find it strange that that person does. I know a woman who has 3 kids (as do I) and she bangs on about it like she’s the only one in the world. She even demanded to a headteacher that her oldest had to go to that school because it was the nearest and doesn’t she know she’s got 3 kids!! Some people are just strange.

I found the first 3 years were a nightmare, but would agree that after that I've found it more straightforward than friends with kids at different stages. Though my children have similar interests and friends which helps. The financial impact is real - I'm at the stage of buying tech, but concerned about Uni costs (and from previous post adding driving lessons to that).

I have twins. I also have 2 singles

You totally underestimate how hard it is; from birth to 5 is tough.
You also seem to have forgotten that there is twice the cost, childcare nearly killed me.
As for them entertaining each other and reaching milestones at the same time - I wish.

It's harder, definitely harder. You can't easily give them the individual attention that they really want and need. If you ever need to do some solo parenting it's very difficult. Maybe it's easier once they turn 5 roughly, but 3 and under is so so hard.

How old are your twins then OP?

I have twins and a singleton. My honest opinion
Is that all kids are different, constantly changing and facing different challenges throughout their childhood. Combined with the trials and tribulations of parents, extended family and friends, any attempt to decide what family make up is a complete waste of time and totally pointless.
Vive la différence!

Some things are harder, some things are easier. The pregnancy and baby stage is hardcore. Toddler twins are no picnic and I have to make allowances and be careful where we go outside the house and take the pushchair everywhere.

But then again, I think having say a 7 year old, a 4 year old and a baby must be tricky in its own way. Not to mention all those years of doing the school run.

I've got twins (boy+girl) but they were born in 97 so are adults now. The early days were really hard. I was a sahm until they were at school so I was with them all the time. I spent too much time steaming apples! They didn't hit all their milestones at the same time, they did play with each other but they still needed me to play with them when they were little. Ds was into steam railways and boats and dd was into Barbies so as they got older they were quite different, although they've always been good friends. The cost was enormous (driving lessons x2 at the same time!), although neither went to uni so I didn't have that to worry about. My sister had 2 three years apart and I do think I had it easier than her in that I only had to do the GCSE years once! I also think once mine were about 8 they were easier than having 2 at different ages

I am a ftm to twin boy/girl they are only 5 months and i can definitely say they havent been an easy 5 months. But the new born stage is always a bit tough isnt it? I have no idea whats in store for me or how difficult / easy its going to be but im lucky to have 2 of the little darlings and what will be will be.

Yeah, OP, how many sets of twins have you raised, to be able to make this sweeping statement with such authority?

my twin boys are the lights of my life but getting two teenagers through GCSEs isn’t the walk in the park you seem to think it is, and neither was… actually any of the previous years.

As someome with 2 singles and triplets overall raising multiples has had more challenges in my opinion. Having the first one was the biggest change. Then our second 14 months later brought different challenges. But with the triplets, the pregnancy, recovering from the birth, the early months of trying and failing to exclusively breastfeed them, the difficulty of getting out and about on my own with them (got a triple pram which was a gamechanger). At every playgroup you have 3 toddlers to watch. They very quickly learnt I couldn't chase them all 😂 now we are at the age of comparing gcses, choosing a levels, learning to drive and applying to unis. All at the same time. The comparing at school has always been difficult to avoid completely. The boys particularly some teachers confuse. They aren't identicals. Friend groups can overlap and that can bring challenges. There were periods when it probably wasn't anymore difficult than if they were all different ages but I can't think of any times offhand that it made things easier. Maybe 2 football matches to attend instead of three! But everyones experience is different, isn't it. I wouldn't change a thing.

OP how old are your twins?

I have 4 kids, first 2, were 2 years apart and then the twins.
I can assure you that the 2, 2 years apart were so much easier.
I had 4 under 5, but breast feeding twins and having 2 one year old running in opposite directions were so hard.
You have absolutely no idea, I could go on but I won't.

I have twins (they are nearly 16). Mostly I think you are right - it is hard 0-4 perhaps and then after that easier in lots of ways than two at different ages. Some things do remain more difficult. It was a-level choices last night and I couldn't split myself in two to see all the subjects, same with parents evening (its hard to get round all the teachers. I'm helping the girls revise gcses and I have to focus on two at the same time. I also have a singleton and I know he will get much more attention when its his turn to do gcses.
I think double driving lessons at the same time will be tough as will two sets of university fees. Generally, its quite cool though as we do a lot as a 3 and I really like the dynamic.

I have twins and also 3 singletons and twins are harder but also a blessing and it's lovely to see them play together but I'm sure they will also fight when they are older, they bite each other and pull each others hair now but are still only 18 months old. Also as someone else said it's double the cost when they need new shoes and clothes, plus double prams are a lot more expensive!