Or can a baby be too hyperactive?

[EightOfHearts]

This might seem like a silly question but I keep getting comments about my 8 month old and it happens so often it's starting to make me wonder. For example; he's a live one, he must be a handful at home, isn't that a bit early to be doing X, he never stops, he needs a lot of simulation etc.

For context he's super active and always has been. Constantly on the move and just never stops. He won't be cuddled and just squirms if you try.

When I was pregnant he would kick non stop and has reached all his movement related milestones really early. For instance he rolled from back to tummy at 4 days old and started army crawling at 4 months. My husband says I'm being silly and it's a good thing but I'm worried it could be an early sign of something. He does seem really hyperactive compared to the other babies we know (I know I shouldn't be comparing).

I would be really grateful for any advice. If anyone else has had a baby like this, how did they grow up?

I have no idea what you mean now, sorry, you've lost me. You previously commented "Do we always medicate differences" and another posted responded that if it helps, yes. I commented in response illustrating how medication helps my DH live a genuinely happier life and be happier in himself, it has nothing to do with "medicating differences" like you've alleged. I don't follow your latest comment at all.

It is a spectrum.

I didn't realise until this summer I knew many people with it.

Anyway they all vary in their abilities and educational levels.

Not all take medication.

No direct experience but my friend’s two DD’s both started commando crawling at 4 months old and were crawling quite fast by 6 months old. Both girls are now 16 & 18 and neither have ADHD/ASD, but they are talented gymnasts and have won many medals etc.

Thanks for all the replies and stories! Seems pretty evenly split between babies who where just 'busy' and those where it went on to mean more.

Which is why professionals won't entertain a diagnosis until school

My original comment was aimed at a poster who took umbrage at the idea that ADHD would be considered a disability. Sorry if that was not clear.

@Coachvikki

Funnily enough I'm very successful in a very interesting and aspirational sector, well paid too.

I'm not disablist.

I know many many successful people who have both visible & invisible disabilities.
We now are much more aware of not making assumptions both what disabled people can or can't achieve.

But to deny the disadvantage of any disability - even if you can achieve despite or even because of it really isn't fair and is like all those people who can't 'see' racism or sexism. Kinda stupid as well as unfair.

My DS was like this. Wriggling non stop and always trying to move. He was determined to move before he was able, he would hurt himself trying to do things he wasn't able, like banging his head repeatedly doing 'press ups' trying to strengthen his arms before crawling. He had a constant need to move, always unsettled when still and hardly ever slept. When he walked at 9 months he was the world's happiest little person, but very tiring for us running around after him. We let him walk for miles and miles when we could because that's what made him happy. He was later diagnosed with ADHD, very much the physical version. He is a normal teenager now and a brilliant athlete, he exercises constantly to regulate himself and manages life quite well as a result. My biggest fear is an injury, I think having to keep still would have quite serious MH consequences for him.

Don't worry about your baby yet OP but it's good that you are being aware. Give him as much movement as makes him happy, accept him as he is. It will be OK whatever the outcome.

You missed the point. I'm sick of it being vilified and demonized, and it's absolutely beyond the pale to make a connection between an active baby and neurological conditions.

Also, @EightOfHearts, one more important thing to add is that ADHD is not related to intelligence, it really isn't the case that children with ADHD are the 'naughty kids that never get anywhere' or that they are 'delayed' like it was thought for many years, and I remember this very well when I was growing up. I think this was part of the reason why my DH was ashamed of seeking a disgnosis later in life, it was very damaging in hindsight. So whilst you're absolutely right to be eager to spot it and support your DS, and to recognise there are challenges involved in it, don't fear it is what I would say, and don't let your DS fear it if he's diagnosed in the future. From personal experience I think it's important to embrace it and provide correct support for each individual. People with ADHD, especially children, tend to receive a lot more negative feedback from others than NT children and this in turn has effect on their self esteem and lowers their ability to cope with challenges, often leading to MH difficulties such as anxiety or depression (most are rooted on childhood but can appear later).

Positive feedback from parents from early on and teaching him how to regulate brain activity and emotions through various activities including sport, mindfulness and activities that he will get engrossed it to relax himself, all done to help with chanelling the correct dose of attention where it needs to be given will go a long way. This is the case for all children, but it's really important if he may have ADHD.

You may want to have a look at Caroline Williams' articles on ADHD. Recent commentary suggests that the underlying reasons could be linked to an inability of the brain to recognise and estimate the passage of time correctly and I think that's a really interesting theory. I would recommend a read and also think if there are other people in the family, including yourself, that may have ADHD, diagnosed or not. xx

I’m sure people would look at me and think it didn’t affect me much. I have multiple degrees and a professional qualification, do well in my good job, have a lovely family and lots of friends. My life is really good, and I agree you can be very happy and fulfilled and successful with ADHD.

But that doesn’t mean my life hasn’t been and isn’t still harder in myriad ways because of my ADHD. I manage it and I’m not currently medicated but every single day of my life is made harder because of it.

I’m aware that I have specific skills that are probably the result of my ADHD - creativity, lateral thinking, working well under pressure etc. I’m not at all trying to suggest people like me aren’t excellent members of society who contribute in important ways and manage to be successful and happy.

That doesn’t change the fact that life is still harder, every day, because of ADHD.

Maybe this thread isn’t for you. Nobody is vilifying anything.

Parental instinct is important and OP clearly thinks something more than her son being active is going on. People who are neurodiverse or parenting neurodiverse children have simply advised that it’s too early to diagnose neurodiversity but offered some suggestions on what to look out for.

If this thread is very triggering for you you can hide it and not engage further.

Why would you be scared of ADHD?

I was walking through a shop last week, when we saw a woman, wearing a t shirt with a slogan on:

”ADHD is an ability not a disability”

I asked DD if she preferred to have ADHD or be NT? She said she would prefer to be NT - her life would be so much easier. Medication works for her, in that it improves concentration, reduces emotional volatility and fidgeting - all of which enable her to work better. (As it wears off, she gets more stressy and likely to get into an argument; not helpful in the work place)

She’s not hyperactive though - the first signs really were the emotional hyperactivity from age 2. However now, she says when she gets up, she feels like jumping for an hour to get her excess energy out!

Forget ADHD for now.
What you need to focus on is how you are going to harness that activity in a safe way as he grows.

Start saving for those indoor climbing triangles and the other toys that go along with it and some crash mats I understand they are quite pricey but will get a lot of use and can double up for imaginative play.

Look into what facilities are available in the area as he grows. What sports is there chance of competing at a high level & it's good to have an idea of options.

Look in to what active groups are about, tumble tots for whilst he is small and then preschool sports like minis rugby, climbing at climbing centres, gymnastic session at a proper club etc, buying a balance bike. Take him swimming regularly from now - you don't need special baby lessons or group lessons DD was doggy paddling confidently from a young age and then went to proper swimming lessons at 7 to fine tune her technique.

Not all parents come from active families so think about what activities are you happy to do as a family is it safe for family bike rides - do you live somewhere you can go hiking - could you develop skills there to make it a positive family experience etc.

You have a brand new baby who is a clean slate. Some children are far more active than others but you can channel it in a positive way.

My personal opinion of ADHDers is that they were probably our earliest fearless explorers pushing the boundaries, probably sat around listening to stories fidgeting rubbing sticks together - discovering fire etc. Whilst modern day living and the school environment is less suited to what they need, they are only there 5 hours - theres an awful lot of time to harness the skills that come more easily the rest of the day.

I like this characterisation a lot, thank you!

My youngest nephew was an active baby, was very fussy when breastfeeding and didn’t like sleeping much (my poor sister!). He was never calm and contented which was the opposite of his siblings who were very chilled babies. He was always wanting to move somehow and used to get frustrated when he couldn’t run before he could even walk! He was diagnosed with ADHD aged 7 and looking back it was obvious from the very first day of his life. He’s 15 now, takes daily medication and is doing great.

This makes so much sense. I work with ND children and I can tell you without exception that the children with ADD and ADHD are miles ahead of neurotypical peers in terms of real intelligence, problem solving and ability to lay down new learning. The difficulties seem to be self regulation and understanding a set of instructions when either spoken or written, which is why visual chronological instructions make sense.

Great advice @Singleandproud I think looking back that was what I found hardest, I'm not a high energy person, the opposite really and with lack of sleep thrown in it was really hard. Environment is key, you can make the best environment for an active baby to thrive, if this means turning your house into an obstacle course then roll with it. One small thing I regretted was not getting a trampoline sooner, DS was sensory seeking and this worked wonders in regulating him.

@Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong thanks 😀.

Personally I have a very low-energy sloth-like child so our activities have mostly been catered the opposite way, quiet and peaceful - turns out shes autistic so it was the right way to go although not diagnosed until the teen years.

When I learnt to parent the child I had and buy her things she actually enjoyed and do the activities she liked rather than the things I thought she should have because every other young child had them or did because every other child did it and I didn't want her to miss out was an absolute game changer

Yes, acceptance is everything but it's hard too. For years I used to look longingly at people in cafes with contented babies in high chairs! But then i saw that same reaction from friends (especially the Dads) when their little ones were sitting in prams and mine was kicking a ball like a baby Messi or climbing to the top of climbing frames agile as a monkey.

I have ADHD. It makes life much harder. For parents and the child. Of course parents would be worried. No-one wants their child to have a condition that makes their life harder. What a ridiculous comment.

Claptrap. If it were just a "difference" it wouldn't be a diagnosable condition that required adjustments and often medication. Toxic positivity. Very damaging to people with ADHD.

My 5 year has ADHD and Autism, she non-stopped moved in the womb...it was painful. She then rolled, crawled, cruised, walked and talked very early.

She struggles at school but her teacher says her problem solving skills are beyond her age range. I'm proud of her, she's very endearing (albeit hard work at times).