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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

would you find these sorts of comments rude?

44 replies

lemongrab33 · 17/11/2023 11:37

Say if you cooked for someone/gave them food which wasn't completely from scratch. You ask how it was and they say 'Good thanks, McVities/Tesco/Dolmio etc. did an excellent job of making it!'
I find this a bit rude and pretentious, not sure if I'm overthinking it?

OP posts:
overwhelmed2023 · 17/11/2023 12:20

Very rude!!

MrsMaracas · 17/11/2023 12:24

It depends on the person?
I might say something like this to my DP-as she swears by certain 'jar versions' for e.g. pasta sauce, whereas I always make my own-not a snobby thing I just really enjoy cooking and it has its advantages. But she'd know I was joking and I'd always follow it up with a compliment.
If it was someone I wasn't close to I'd not dream of it, I'd just be grateful and thankful.

SweetBirdsong · 17/11/2023 12:30

No I wouldn't like that. Many people (usually women) make food not-from-scratch, often because they don't have time for cook from scratch, or just CBA. (And not being arsed is OK too.)

I have had occasions in the past, when my DH has complained about the meal I have made/prepared. He has moaned that it's a bit undercooked or overcooked or salty or not salty enough or a bit tasteless etc etc. I used to take it on the chin, but after a while I told him to get to the far side of fuck and cook his own meals from now on. The final straw came when I made spaghetti bolognese and he said 'it's a bit dry...' with this face>>> 🙁

I took his plate full of spaghetti bolognese, and scooped it all in the bin. I said 'if it's so shit, cook your own fucking food!' Then I sat down with mine and ate it while he sat there like this. Shock (It wasn't dry by the way!) DH has never said anything about my meals since. This was about 15 years ago. I refused to make him anything else for about a week. He said he was really sorry, and would never say anything negative again. (Not sure if he was really sorry - or if he just didn't want to cook his own meals!) 🙄😂

Berating and criticizing the food that has been lovingly cooked and prepared for you by someone, (whether cook from scratch, or ready meal, or a bit of both,) is the worst kind of behaviour. It's so rude and nasty and downright bloody ungrateful. It's obnoxious, it shows poor manners, and displays terrible etiquette.

burnoutbabe · 17/11/2023 12:33

it would be just abpiut acceptable if it was a charlie bingham meal that involves taking off sleeve and putting in oven.

Then really the "cook" is nothing more than a deliverer of food into oven, waiting X mins, then dishing it up.

Anything that involves sauce from a jar PLUS other stuff, it would be rude.

myotherkidisacassowary · 17/11/2023 12:34

YANBU, totally snarky and uncalled for.

myotherkidisacassowary · 17/11/2023 12:35

SweetBirdsong · 17/11/2023 12:30

No I wouldn't like that. Many people (usually women) make food not-from-scratch, often because they don't have time for cook from scratch, or just CBA. (And not being arsed is OK too.)

I have had occasions in the past, when my DH has complained about the meal I have made/prepared. He has moaned that it's a bit undercooked or overcooked or salty or not salty enough or a bit tasteless etc etc. I used to take it on the chin, but after a while I told him to get to the far side of fuck and cook his own meals from now on. The final straw came when I made spaghetti bolognese and he said 'it's a bit dry...' with this face>>> 🙁

I took his plate full of spaghetti bolognese, and scooped it all in the bin. I said 'if it's so shit, cook your own fucking food!' Then I sat down with mine and ate it while he sat there like this. Shock (It wasn't dry by the way!) DH has never said anything about my meals since. This was about 15 years ago. I refused to make him anything else for about a week. He said he was really sorry, and would never say anything negative again. (Not sure if he was really sorry - or if he just didn't want to cook his own meals!) 🙄😂

Berating and criticizing the food that has been lovingly cooked and prepared for you by someone, (whether cook from scratch, or ready meal, or a bit of both,) is the worst kind of behaviour. It's so rude and nasty and downright bloody ungrateful. It's obnoxious, it shows poor manners, and displays terrible etiquette.

Queen 👸

SweetBirdsong · 17/11/2023 12:39

myotherkidisacassowary · 17/11/2023 12:35

Queen 👸

Blush
cerisepanther73 · 17/11/2023 12:40

I do think 🤔 it's a bit rude to automatically assume you didn't make it from scratch,

but i do think it also depends on context the situation ect,
Obviously i am not quite sure how good your culinary skills are,

if its something you remark on yourself or its quite well known you cooking 🍳 skills are not brilliant,
i can see why then someone could come out with a remark on that..

Picturesofowls · 17/11/2023 12:42

SweetBirdsong · 17/11/2023 12:30

No I wouldn't like that. Many people (usually women) make food not-from-scratch, often because they don't have time for cook from scratch, or just CBA. (And not being arsed is OK too.)

I have had occasions in the past, when my DH has complained about the meal I have made/prepared. He has moaned that it's a bit undercooked or overcooked or salty or not salty enough or a bit tasteless etc etc. I used to take it on the chin, but after a while I told him to get to the far side of fuck and cook his own meals from now on. The final straw came when I made spaghetti bolognese and he said 'it's a bit dry...' with this face>>> 🙁

I took his plate full of spaghetti bolognese, and scooped it all in the bin. I said 'if it's so shit, cook your own fucking food!' Then I sat down with mine and ate it while he sat there like this. Shock (It wasn't dry by the way!) DH has never said anything about my meals since. This was about 15 years ago. I refused to make him anything else for about a week. He said he was really sorry, and would never say anything negative again. (Not sure if he was really sorry - or if he just didn't want to cook his own meals!) 🙄😂

Berating and criticizing the food that has been lovingly cooked and prepared for you by someone, (whether cook from scratch, or ready meal, or a bit of both,) is the worst kind of behaviour. It's so rude and nasty and downright bloody ungrateful. It's obnoxious, it shows poor manners, and displays terrible etiquette.

This makes sense. It is rude to say food is dry and to keep criticising your effort. I would be annoyed too.

I think this is also why context is important though. Saying sainsburys did a great job if you got a sausage roll from sainsburys a put it in front of your gran who visits once every 6 months, and has this sense of humour directed at everyone but is otherwise lovely would make sense.

If it's your other half constantly criticising and it's over one ready made item in a meal prepared after a long day looking after the kids that's incredibly rude and ungrateful.

VisionsOfSplendour · 17/11/2023 12:51

Totally depends on the context and the intention of the person who said it. If I've made something with a bought ingredient like that I'd happily acknowledge it but if a person was trying to imply that you hadn't made any effort because one part was ready made I'd think they were a ungrateful wanker or your MIL

Night409 · 17/11/2023 12:54

Yes it’s rude, especially if it was said in a way that was an obvious dig.

You were kind enough to make them food.
So what if you didn’t make it from scratch.

Everyone takes shortcuts somewhere e.g buying it instead of growing it ourselves.

SweetBirdsong · 17/11/2023 13:16

Picturesofowls · 17/11/2023 12:42

This makes sense. It is rude to say food is dry and to keep criticising your effort. I would be annoyed too.

I think this is also why context is important though. Saying sainsburys did a great job if you got a sausage roll from sainsburys a put it in front of your gran who visits once every 6 months, and has this sense of humour directed at everyone but is otherwise lovely would make sense.

If it's your other half constantly criticising and it's over one ready made item in a meal prepared after a long day looking after the kids that's incredibly rude and ungrateful.

Thank you. 😘 Yeah, the spaghetti bolognese incident, was the straw the broke the camel's back!

IncompleteSenten · 17/11/2023 13:22

Depends entirely on the relationship you have with them.

If my sister said it, I'd call her a bitch and remind her of the time in Presto I pretended I'd spat in her milkshake and she should be grateful it came without extras, she'd call me a cow and we'd laugh because we have that sort of relationship.

If my aunt said it I'd be pissed off because she's a passive aggressive nightmare who loves to have a pop at people.

CesareBorgia · 17/11/2023 13:30

Yes, it is rude and patronising, whatever the context.

bevis0405 · 20/03/2025 10:04

@Football Bros Your time and effort are valuable, and you shouldn't feel obligated to cook for people who don't appreciate it.

purplecorkheart · 20/03/2025 10:08

CesareBorgia · 17/11/2023 13:30

Yes, it is rude and patronising, whatever the context.

This.

I bet though that it is your dp and they think that they are being hilarious and you are being sensitive.

SpanThatWorld · 20/03/2025 10:12

bevis0405 · 20/03/2025 10:04

@Football Bros Your time and effort are valuable, and you shouldn't feel obligated to cook for people who don't appreciate it.

Edited

This happened in 2023. Why resurrect it now, especially as the OP hasn't come back to tell us who the culprit was.

MontanaPink · 20/03/2025 10:14

Bloody rude.

SatyrTights · 20/03/2025 10:14

I think it depends largely on who’s saying it, in what spirit, and the context. If it’s a joke from a good friend who showed up unexpectedly in response to you having said ‘I used a jar of sauce I’ve never used before, so hope it’s not awful’, or you making a joke about all the packaging sticking out of your recycling bin, it’s a bit different to an intentionally judgement comment from someone you’re dating, or a disapproving relative.

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