AIBU to think we should go to the church!!

[Catch2222]

We have been invited to my husbands business partners, daughters wedding. We have been invited to the whole day. Church and reception.

Husband just told me their PA's mentioned they are not bothering with the church and just going
To The reception.

I feel this is wrong. We were invited to the church and Reception. We should go to both.

Husband said the church is t that big and we should leave room for the actual family. Am I wrong to think it's rude to miss the church?

You are correct.

I think you are correct too. And how would they know what time to turn up for the reception if they aren't at the church. Are they going to say - "sorry can't be bothered with the ceremony but when does the food start?"

Trainers with work clothes (not many wear suits now) is so you have comfortable feet when commuting. Or because they go well with the smart casual wear which is de rigueur in a lot of workplaces.

I doubt random colleagues would be missed at church, but for OP's husband there is a closer connection so I'd advise going to the lot if invited.

Unless it really is Church & Reception and not wedding breakfast, then I'd probably just go to the reception. And it's pretty standard for colleagues just to go in the evening.

Definitely go to both.

The church is the 'important' bit.

I would rather miss the party!

You are right and your husband is wrong (and quite rude). The wedding IS the church ceremony. There’ll be plenty of room!

It would be painfully rude to do that! I can't believe someone would actually even consider it

I think it’s a bit weird that a lot of work strangers have been invited to the wedding ceremony and dinner, and I can see why some staff might feel a bit odd about it and prefer to skip the bit which is going to involve awkwardness and small talk. In their position I’d just decline the entire invitation rather than just the church bit.

Well, if the family hadn’t wanted you in the church, they wouldn’t have invited you! Draw pictures for him if you have to….🤷‍♀️

Presuming this isn’t one of those weird invitations to the ceremony and reception but NOT the wedding breakfast (which are very rude in themselves!), it would be unspeakably rude to shun the main part of the day and then materialise for the evening to eat, drink and be merry.

Some of DH's colleagues came to the whole thing but:

• We had no evening-only guests
• They were not only his colleagues but had been my colleagues too when DH and I got together and we used to all be rather sociable and go out for drinks regularly when we worked together, so they felt very much part of the story of us becoming a couple
• It was a good distance travel-wise for coming for the day but a bit of a faff to just come for an evening

The couple would have only invited you, if they had space. I don’t think it is for the guests to decide upon space. Also, the PA’s can do whatever they want, but the relationship of being a business partner is a big deal. The parents of the bride are honouring the relationship with you and your husband, it would be very rude not to attend.