To consider letting DD11 shave

[PollyPeeves]

She has been asking me for a while and tonight asked again.
She has already got a fair amount, particularly under her arms. She understands that is normal and part of growing up but she says she finds it irritating and that she can't wear certain tops and t shirts.
My own DM was SO against me shaving when I was growing up and I held off for a long time even though it made me absolutely miserable because I assumed that she must have had her good reasons for thinking/feeling that way about it but tbh I'm still pretty stumped!
Have I been missing something all this time or if I show my DD how to do this properly and safely, is it such a big deal?

I’m pleased to sed your updates OP. I was shaving at her age (40s now) and do help her. I still remember my first time, l got in a bit of a mess.

DD(11) goes through phases of asking although she hasn't got round to it yet. Two years ago the boys in her class were quite horrible to her about her hairy legs and it bothered her. I explained all the possibilities and in the end she decided to leave it. She knows we have everything she needs if she wants to and I made her promise not to steal a razor and try alone, which is what I did and cut my legs to ribbons.

Bizarrely, as soon as she knew she had the choice of removal method and can try whenever she wants, she wasn't interested in trying any out!

I'm glad you've decided to agree OP. My mum was like yours, she shaved but had a weird thing about never allowing me or my sisters to. I had to wait until I was old enough to go to the shops by myself, buy a razor with pocket money, and hide it in my bedroom, just taking it into the bathroom when I showered.

I've never understood it, and we're not close enough that I've ever bothered asking.

My dd took dh’s razor and shaved. Luckily no ill effects. I then taught her to do it safely.

I get the mother thing op. My mother just looked down on me and told me she didn’t need to shave. Then finally gave in and handed me my father’s old razor. Something like this. I skinned myself in place, bled profusely made an almighty mess and was in agony.

My DD was definitely shaving by that age. I still remember the teasing in PE in secondary if girls had arm pit or leg hair. I showed my DD how to shave, she prefers to do a wet shave in the shower which is what I do too. Had no problems (15 now)

I am surprised your DD hasn’t been more resistant to you putting it off if I am honest!

I had dark leg and under arm hair and started shaving at 9… I’d have been horribly self conscious if I didn’t even at that young age.

I know you are “allowing” her now but I honestly don’t think 11 is that young so don’t worry about that. By Y6 I think all of my friends shaved.

She needs to feel like she can talk to you about these things and be heard in a non judgmental way though. It’ll serve you well in later life if she needs help with contraception etc so she doesn’t feel embarrassed to come and talk to you.

It’s good that she can ask you to do this. I think I was shaving by high school at 12 as my friends in high school were already (my best friends were a year older) and I was doing it by stealing my mums razor as she told me I was too young even though I had dark hair!

It isn’t a big deal - let her do it! I would rather they did these things safely and supported than do it by themselves and possibly hurt themselves! She has come to you for help thats brilliant.

My mum was really weird about it too, no idea why. I just stole one on my dad's razors and dry shaved. It used to burn so badly, I wish she'd helped me to do it properly.
She never got me a bra either, I just used to borrow hers.

So i think help her to do it properly

I was "too young" at 13-14 when embarrased by the luxuriant dark hair under my arms that was on display in my dancing leotard and attracting comment from younger dancers. Not allowed to do anything with it, and not having my own money to buy something, I used a discarded rusty old razor lying around for a while and got in trouble for being unhygienic... yet still not given an appropriate solution. When I'd finally got some summer spending money, I spent it on a Venus. DM never really grasped that my body did things on a different timescale to hers, and that a need to adapt was necessary.

Electric razors are an easy, low maintainence way to manage unwanted hair. I'd favour an electric over wet shaving for a beginner.