Want to move... again

[Hydrangeahome]

My Husband and I moved out of London after 12 years, after the pandemic, back to Birmingham where we are both originally from, because we had made the decision to start a family, and the general advice from everyone is to move nearer family and friends at this time.

We have been trying for 6 months (living in Birmingham for 1 year) and I'm really not enjoying my life here. Our work is still in London, so we are both commuting several days a week, and although its really nice being nearer our oldest friends, I really miss London. My Husband has a big family, but I just have my Mother who lives alone - she is a big reason we moved back as I know she will want to be near her grandchildren.

I worry that I've made a decision and jumped the gun about needing to be near family and family whilst pregnant/ a new mother but that's even happened. All I know is right now I'm really not enjoying living in this new city despite feeling like it should offer me everything I need. I feel like I'm living my life for my Husband and our families... but I don't know if I will feel differently once we have a baby.

I struggle with my Mental Health, and I loved the variety London offered (history, parks, culture, dining etc.) which I feel Birmingham just doesn't offer in the same way. We would have to downsize to move back to London and my Husband doesn't want that - but I feel like despite also working full time I take on a lot of the burden of this large house we don't need yet. I think about my maternity leave in Birmingham and I'm worried my new environment will feel quite depressing, despite having people around. I loved my old life in London, but I know this would also look different with a child.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

A few questions which part of Birmingham did you move to? Area wise and how large a house? Detached, Semi, Terraced etc?

I lived in London when my kids were young and it was fantastic. The best years of their childhood in many ways. There was so much to do and the parks were full of kids from school on the weekends so it was easy to spontaneously socialise whenever we felt like it. There were so many clubs for them to try out and we could cycle or scoot into China town or to Regent Park on the weekends. We had great markets and fun shops and restaurants on our doorstep.

We then moved to a Manchester suburb and although we definitely got a lot more house for our money life became smaller and more insular. If our kids were seeing friends it had to be arranged, there was nothing interesting within walking distance, the parks weren't nearly as busy. Schools were great though.

We all realised we aren's suburban people and now we all live centrally in big cities, although not all in the same city. It suits some people and not others.

Did you buy or rent? If renting move back immediately. If you've bought you will have to run the maths on what moves will cost you and renting out your house and then renting a flat in London is an option