To be cross with the waitress today, when...

[lucyellensmum]

DD wouldnt say thankyou.

My DD has had some speech delay although she is essentially on target now. Because of this i have never really taught the whole "ta" or "thankyou" bit as i never wanted to put her under pressure.

She is 2.5 and relatively shy with strangers. Especially if they talk directly to her. So today she gets her after dinner ice lolly, and i say, ooh, thats lovely lucy, are you doing to say thankyou, to which she puts on her shy face and looks down at her shoes. So i don't push it. I was just about to say, oh sorry, she is shy with strangers and the woman says, "are you going to say thankyou?" i said, i dont think she will, so she said, "ah well, you wont get one next time, little madam" . DD looked really upset. I thought to myself, too right she wont be having a lolly in here again, there wont be a next time . The woman could see that DD was shy so why make that comment, she was joking but DD didnt realise this. I didnt say anything but i think the woman could tell i was mighty pissed off because i said no more and was very red in the face.

My DD is not rude, she is SHY

silly woman

The waitress i mean

YANBU.

"little madam"?

Serve the damn food and go away!

poor wee thing, no wonder she is shy when people are like that with her
am very on dd's behalf

yanbu

Sadly many people feel the need to comment/criticise when children don't behave the way that they think they should.

There was a thread recently when someone suggested that the mnetter's child should be given a "smacked bottom". on her behalf.

It's not as if your dd did something very wrong or naughty, and even if she did it was none of this woman's business.

if anyone had suggested i smack my DDs bottom i would have lost the plot i think

"Little madam"?!! Is being rude to the customers part of the job description, I wonder?
Loads of even really chatty children clam up at a question from a stranger. Waitress obviously has not observed many of her other customers.

would be interesting to know whether she makes a smart comment if a middle aged businessman in a suit doesn't mind his ps and qs!

Ohh. Terrible situ to be in anyway; she just chose the wrong thing to do. To err is human and all that. YABU IMO.

LEM-you are doing all the right supportive mummy stuff so it is a damn shame some rude insensitive silly moo opens her big yap and lets the belly rumble.

i had a stutter as a child and it wasexcruciating for strangers to demend i speak when i was obviously being avoidant.my mum bless her always fought my corner

how am i being unreasonable when i didnt actually do what i felt like doing (grab the woman by the throat and say, look you stupid fecking bint, if you upset my DD again i will kill you) That would have been unreasonable. Yes, she made a mistake but it just made me cross that a)she said this to DD, and b) she clearly considers her rude!! To be fair, she is very friendly and chatty to DD usually and WAS only joking. The thing with DD is that she is a very gregarious little girl and will jump up and dance to the music in the cafe etc, be quite loud, so she probably did think she is rude, but she clams up when people speak to her. She had a complete melt down today when a lady at playgroup was trying to comfort her because she lost sight of me, the lady tried to pick her up and DD lost it . I felt really sorry for her (the lady).

Stealth - i daresay she wont ever have that dilemma, its not the smart business man type of establishment.

I only said YABU becasue you posted in AIBU!

Now I am in an impossibel situation!

This demands another AIBU thread, do you think?? (joke - biy hope you can see my pint a little bit. )

Being a waitress is a shitty stressful job is all I mean and I don't think you should bother taking it persoanlly. Your lovely DD is loved enough and will get over it. The waitress might be tossing and turning in her bed thinking, 'fick, I am such an idiot'

None of us know what is going on in other peoples lives to make them say or do teh wrong thing in such situations.

Now I have turned into the Frenchman from Allo Allo...

You see my point...?

Sorry, reading again -

No you are not being unreasonable to feel cross.

Your feelings are yours alone.

I midread and thought you had demonstrated this crossness.

Sorry for the confusion

At 2.5 even without a speech delay many wont say thanks to a stranger. Waitress was rude and inconsiderate.

See your pint, Monkeytrousers, have you been DRINKING on MN??!!!

Waitress unreasonable for making a fuss esp with a toddler. Bad enough telling older children what they should say, without expecting thanks from a child possibly not even out of nappies. Lucyellen you might consider just thanking people yourself when they give things to dd - that way they get thanked, and dd gets to witness you doing the thanking

I have Elasticwoman - just a mid wekk dram!

DS has only stated talking now at 3.5. I have worked as a waitress. Anybody can be rude.

We all need to be a bit more understanding - how about that?

How old was said waitress?

Don't answer that.

I am accommapnying myself on the piano tonight..i.e. I am being a wanker

MonkeyTrousers i would quit now you are just diggin and digging

oh, I was only being irreverent man

have you not seen the wankers thread?

i don't have the co-ordination to be a waitress, but have worked as a veterinary receptionist (one up from pond life in some peoples eyes, along with doctors receptionists) so i know how it feels to be spoken to like an idiot. So wouldnt dream of saying anything, my gut reaction was one of FFS who do you think you are, my outside reaction was a fixed smile