What would you do?party certificates handed out.

[Leviem]

About two weeks ago, a child in my daughters class was stood with invites for her party and I noticed the top one was my daughters name (no other child with same name in the class). My daughter didn’t come home with an invite though. First forward to now the group of mums keep talking about the party and who’s coming and whenever I’m near they start discussing the party again quite loudly. It happened twice this morning, one when I walked into the playground they straight away started talking about it and again at the school crossing. I feel like the mum thinks I’m rude for not responding and saying wether my daughter will be able to attend but we never got the invite, despite me seeing it in the child’s hands. What would you do?

This is a tricky one, if the whole class was invited then just ask her politely. Have you asked your dad if she got one? It might have got lost between school and home?

Just talk to the mum. Say your daughter isn't sure if she was invited or not and you are just double checking and "no worries if she isn't".

I'd be very surprised if the school had let her hand out invites in class if it wasn't a whole class party so I'd drop the mum a message and just check whether she is supposed to have one or not , but stress that it's not a problem if not, but wanted to check that you hadn't missed an rsvp date if she was supposed to have one

It was definitely the whole class I think as the child was holding quite a lot of them. I just happened to glance over and saw my daughters name on one of the invites at the top. My daughter said she didn’t get it though and I couldn’t see it in her bag so I’m not sure what happened!

Why haven’t you mentioned it to the Mum yet? You saw your DD’s name on there so she is invited and the Mum will just be thinking you rudely haven’t RSVP’d so just ask her!

I think you should just be upfront and say that you thought you saw an invitation but it didn't come home. Is she invited? No worries if not but you didn't want her to think you'd been rude if she thought you'd received an invitation.

If your child's name was definitely on the invite and she's the only one in the school with that name and in the class who seems to not have been invited then it's probably in her tray at school.

Why not just ask the child's mum at home time and say DD has been talking about X's party but she never came home with an invite has she got her wires crossed? Talking to the mum is literally the only way you can resolve this.

Why haven't you mentioned it to the mum? If you've been around when the party is being discussed, this would be the perfect opportunity to say something. Especially if you feel she thinks you're being rude by not confirming your daughter's attendance. They're not going to talk about it in front of you of your dd wasn't invited, plus you saw the invite in her hand.

This is the perfect way to word it, and saves any embarrassment as it's showing you're just trying to establish if she's meant to have got the invite or not.

Again, it doesn’t surprise me that Mners tend to struggle with relationships — OP, what is it that has stopped you literally doing the only thing that can resolve this, and speaking to the mum? You saw the invitation in the child’s hand so you know they intended to invite your child, so it’s not even that you don’t want to put the other mother on the spot in case your child wasn’t invited! An invitation has gone astray. It happens!

I'm wondering if the Mum wrote the invitations, but the child didn't want your daughter to come for some reason; so didn't give it to her.

Small kids loose invites all the time!
just blame it on the kids and speak to the mum
“Really sorry, my DD keeps telling me about the party and thinks she got and invite but she never brought one home, not a biggie if she’s not invited, just don’t want to appear rude by not replying”

Just do this . Today .

Classic Mn. It’s never just an accident or oversight, it’s always an ‘exclusion’. Doesn’t it get exhausting defaulting to the most negative possible view of a situation?

They’re only in reception so very possible it’s just been misplaced. Tbh I’m quite shy so was worried about how to word it. Thank you for your replies. If I see her at pick up I will mention it

This! Also, why was the other mum apparently being all passive aggressive by loudly discussing the party within OP's earshot? Either she thinks OP needs to RSVP, in which case she should just ask her if her child is coming, or OP's child isn't invited, in which case discussing the party loudly near her is just rude.

There seem to be so many threads ATM where the only reasonable advice is to just ask a clear question and get the answer!!

I was thinking this, kids fall out all the time and make up the next day, but the bday kid could well have possibly tried to hide it!

OP, ask the mum please. She'll be feeling anxious that you haven't responded with a RSVP. So to sort this out, ask her at pick up.

Absolutely THIS.