Okay so this happened a while ago but I remembered it today because I met the nurse who...

[emkana]

...greatly upset me when I was in hospital with ds when he was only 2 days old with pneumonia. I shared a bed with him and did my very best to keep him safe while doing that, but I wanted to be close to him. One night this nurse came him and said to me, very sternly, "you're going to kill him doing htat" and she just took ds out of my bed and put him in the hospital cot.

I was really at the comment, and it upset me greatly at the time, but due to everything else that was going on I never said anything aboput it, and of course I wouldn't now either, 21 months later. But do you agree with me that she could have put it in a rather less upsetting manner?

Yes it is a bit over the top, but if he had pneumona shouldn't he have been in a cot so easily accesible to the nurses

What an awful thing to say - completely wrong as well. How thoughtless to say such rubbish to you when your baby was so unwell.

Of course you are right, Emkana, if she did have a point then she should have thought more carefully about how to make it.

Not at all unreasonable. Meeting her obviously just brought all the feelings you had at time: exhaustion, worry, anxiety. Her being a cow, clearly didn't help. She could have been kinder but she wasn't. You'll forget about her again soon.

some people just dont understand co sleeping. Dont give it another days thought. How old is he now?

tactless & thoughtless to upset you when you were already worried about ds

omg your ds is stunning. What a beautiful child. See what you have made and how lovely he is. Without the interference of fools that think they know. He is truly lovely

Thank you

your welcome! You can say i know too! Did you continue with co sleeping?

yes, ds currently asleep in my bed

She was only doing her job and doing what she thought was right to keep the baby safe.

I wish my midwife had warned me as I nearly did kill dd in hospital. She was put on me to feed, I was exhausted and immobile from a c-section, and she slipped under my arm and I must have fallen asleep. If my DH hadnt raised the alarm she would have suffocated. As it was she had to be resuscitated by a passing doctor. I was post-operative and on the observation ward, only no one was observing me (except DH thank god). I am still traumatised by this, and we have both suffered nightmares and wake up shouting that she is in the bed with us/we are suffocating her. Luckily the frequency of these nightmares has decreased - when she was newborn I had them nightly, now she is 18 months every few months or so. I am the sort of person that would have loved to have co-slept and think its a lovely idea but this experience has sadly ruined that for me. Maybe the nurse had witnessed something similar happening to someone else?

I see what you're saying, but then she could have said to me "I'm really worried seeing you do that, would you mind if I help you settling your ds into the cot?" and that would have been fine.

saying "you're killing him" and just taking him was a bit much IMO

Depends on hospital policy as I have recently discovered that it isn;t against all policies to co-sleep, some have seperate guidelines to follow so she should have pointed those out if in one of those hospitals.
Otherwise she still shouldn't have spoken to you that way, but explained it was not the safest thing to do with DD having pneumonia and you being so tired.

oh poor you ker. Snap em. All snuggled up! He is two now and sometimes still just has to literally lay on me! He also bf! So i was rubbish at following the routine thing!

Maybe she was really, really overworked and couldn't take the time to explain gently to you - sometimes there are not enough staff on the wards. I am not saying she was right to say it, it was awful, and YANBU, but maybe thinking of it that way will help you feel better about the incident in yourself!

Maybe she was really, really overworked and couldn't take the time to explain gently to you - sometimes there are not enough staff on the wards. I am not saying she was right to say it, it was awful, and YANBU, but maybe thinking of it that way will help you feel better about the incident in yourself!