To think he should take the day off to look after our sick child?

[Workstressx]

I have a baby with someone who moved away back to his hometown. It’s about a 2 hour drive, he is due to take our child Friday - Monday this weekend.

Our child has been off nursery with a temp and subsequently I’ve been off work, I don’t get paid when I am off and I’m not behind on a lot of work. Our child went back to nursery today, I had to leave work again early to pick him up. I asked his dad if he could perhaps miss a day of his work to help me out as he was planning on coming up Friday. He has been struggling financially and I do not get maintenance from him at the moment. But that means I rely on my wage only.

i know I can’t force him to help out but he has flat out said no he cannot miss work due to money, he said he will get our child at the arranged time and he will not consider coming a day earlier to pick our child up to help me out. Aibu for asking this?

Well you’re not unreasonable at all, BUT it was probably unreasonable of you to expect this deadbeat dad who doesn’t pay towards his child to not want to help you out.

He did pay before but got in a lot of financial trouble, my job covers my bills so I let him take a break for payments. I am beginning to really see who he is really now though

Why do you feel sorry for this man?

Have you gone though the CMS?

Don’t do him anymore favours then maintenance wise

Obviously you are not unreasonable he is.

Is he down as a contact for nursery? Maybe next time when they phone say you can't collect and they will have to phone dad. See if he says no to nursery?

YANBU to ask but he sounds like a waste of space so I'm not surprised he said no.

Go through CMS and stop being so nice.

He has shown that he expects you to be flexible with him for his financial security but he is not willing to do the same for you. Stop being a mug and go through cms for maintenance.

I really wouldn't be doing that with regard to maintenance.