To ask if you or your spouse has Family Money?

[FrasierReboot]

And if so, what's it like and how have you benefitted financially?

Someone I know was saying that her husbands family are very rich and so their house was paid for by the in laws (2 million), there is a school fund for private schooling for their two children, and the in laws pay for their very expensive holidays to places like Mustique each year.

There is often a lot of talk on here about Family Money but I didn't realise it would literally mean for some people they have a life free of any financial burdens! Very lucky!

Not many people are that generous, most just get money for a house deposit or school fees paid. Depends on the level of wealth

My partner comes form money but he made a decision to move away at the age of 18 and not accept parents' help (which came with the clause that he would take over family business that he had no interest in). So we haven't benefited financially in any way. It's nice to know that they are there in emergency, although we never base out financial decisions on this.

Sort of. Not to the extent you’re describing, but we have been very lucky to have family support.

Our parents gave us the deposit for our first house. They have also paid or part paid for holidays for us (with them), e.g. they have paid for accommodation and we have paid for flights.

We were also both privately educated and supported through university without student loans.

We recognise that this is an enormous privilege; our lives have been much easier because of this financial support.

Well I’ve had an inheritance which means our house is paid for outright and I don’t ever have to work again - I’ve not worked since I was 32 (now 43). But I don’t have the kind of wealth where we can just take exotic holidays all the time or afford private school etc. I know many would say I should have kept on working in that case - I always had a good career beforehand anyway - but I’ve got significant disabilities and not working is a better choice for us. Dh still works full time. He comes from a completely different background to me and being honest he would never have been able to get on the property ladder if we hadn’t got married etc. I come from a long line of only children where we’ve all inherited wealth as the parent has died. I have no remaining relatives now though. Just me. And then it will pass to my two children. So the wealth will be less for them.

I wish 😂

Nope, not a penny.

But I don't mind. My achievements are mine. My house is mine, as are the school fees I pay for my ds. There are no strings attached and all the choices are mine too.

That's quite a good feeling.

I know a few people in this sort of situation. Like others have said, it's mostly things like big deposits on a house or even the full house paid for, definitely no student loans etc. When I first started working, the ones who had money often had more choices and a much nicer lifestyle from the start - things like choosing very low paid starting salary jobs because a rented (or even purchased) flat was available and not getting into extra debt to pay taxes/transfer/solicitor fees when buying their first home. It's like they start out wealthy and then everything else is easier forever more because they have less debt and more options from day 1.

Our families have money, and do regularly gift us sums of money to help with house renovations etc, but we definitely don't rely on it, and live within our own means. Certainly wouldn't feel comfortable letting someone else buy me a house outright, as I'd always feel in debt to them. But we have had substantial help with deposits, moving fees, and other big financial outlays which would have still be doable, just harder without "family money". We never ever ask, and they don't offer to help as such, as I think they know we'd feel too awkward saying "yes please" DHs dad will occasionally just hand him a cheque, or tell him there's something "extra" in our bank account to help with x y z, and we are always extremely grateful.

I suppose I did in a way - inherited a ramshackle house with my sibling when my parents died very early, and I bought them out and worked hard to bring it up to scratch (will have a mortgage until I'm 65 though). But, I don't have kids or a spouse (and am too old to have the former as I'm now 51). Lots of my family died and didn't have children, so I'm almost the last of the line. Anything that I don't spend on later life care will go to godchildren and friends children who have brought me a lot of joy, and who I suspect won't inherit a great deal from their parents. So it will be nice to spread it about, if there's anything left.

I know lots of people like this. It's not like they're swanning about living th life of Riley, but their lives are that much easier and/or, for want of a better word, "nicer". They've done the renovations or upgraded their homes, never had a year where they didn't have at least a couple of holidays etc. Often the money tends to come at the time of big events - weddings, moving house, having children. A common one I've seen a lot is parents paying for things like new cars and travel systems when the woman gets pregnant, or helping to upgrade to a bigger house by the time baby number 2 arrives.

Having said that, I know quite a few people who have all those same things but have earned it for themselves via big flashy jobs too.

No.

Neither did either exH.

Brought up DC alone.

Saying that, XH2 came from a very wealthy family. Sadly (and I do mean that), they all died within a few years. Even the children and grandchildren. My DC are the only ones left apart from XH and his wife. He cut them off aged 4 and 5 saying he wouldn't share custody because 'it didn't suit'.

They're 23 and 24 now.

My dad gave me and my sister money in a fund - about £20k each. He is the kindest man but by no means rich.

Other than that no family wealth or help and won’t have any. I would love to get to the point where we can offer at least some helot to our children, that’s the goal.

PIL have money. Their IFA keeps telling them to get rid of it. But they sit on it, don't spend it, don't share it out and do everything on the cheap.
No help with a house deposit, nothing towards our wedding, DC got a cheque for £30 for their 18th birthday.
We are however, beholden to no one,

Looks like the woman I know is in quite an unusual position, then.

Her husband also has a super high paid job as obviously he had a great education.

They're really lucky

I think it’s more common than people realise. It’s not the sort of thing you tell people in real life.

Yes. My sisters and I were bought
houses by our parents when we were in our early 20s. Parents also put a lot of money in ISAs, premium bonds, and stocks and shares in our names for the future.

We have always had our own jobs from the age of 16, worked through Uni and now full time jobs but not having to pay rent or a mortgage has meant we have built up our own savings and life is comfortable.

I acknowledge we are incredibly lucky, but I like to think we are not spoilt/bratty and we definitely don’t bring it up in conversations. We all have a strong work ethic, 2 sisters work extremely hard as nurses in the NHS. We also don’t waste money, I drive a Hyundai and none of us own any designer products.

My husbands mothers family are very wealthy, growing up his parents had a live in housekeeper and two live in nannies until he was sent away from school.

We have benefitted and we are incredibly grateful, when his great grandma died she left both of her properties to him. One a lovely house we live in now, and a really nice summer house. His grandma also bought him a flat to live in when he moved to the UK. Knowing we’ll always have somewhere for our children to live and not having to worrying about paying for it is an amazing luxury.

My friends husband comes from money. Not mega rich, but very wealthy.

they had help with a house deposit, have been brought cars and had big family holidays to expensive places paid for. What my friend didn’t realise until recently is that the in laws have actually paid for every holiday and most big purchases for their entire relationship. She always thought it came from savings her husband put aside, but no, bank of mum and dad. Don’t know why he didn’t tell her, but he didn’t. To be fair I did always wonder how they could afford so much as we have very similar incomes and I certainly can’t. Must be nice.

It’s quite normal in my circle although not the wealth in the OP eg the only ones I know inheriting a million is because of a bereavement.

DH & I had help at uni, wedding, big deposit, prams, car etc.

Nope 😭. Gosh I’d love it just for the pressure to be off. We always seem to have enough for daily living. But holidays few and far between these days, any bit of extra that comes in seems to go right back out literally the next week due to something breaking or needing to be replaced.

i bought some shares in a hope of making a little extra and they’ve both tanked to be almost worthless. Everything we touch money or investment wise seems to
go to shit. Weirdly I’ve managed to squirrel away money for the DC to help with house deposits and working on college funds just now. Maybe their lives will be smoother

My family are the ones with money. Not millions but very comfortable.

House deposit was paid, solicitors fees, holidays paid for once a year for all of us and they help with grandchildren's costs ie: school shoes, activities etc will buy them a car when they pass tests as they did for me

I will say a safety net makes a huge difference in one’s life outcomes but a lot of people I know don’t recognise that privilege.

Contribution to a house deposit and a few holidays (with parents!) paid for yes. £2m houses, endless exotic holidays and private schools no. Enough that I'm expecting some inheritance but not life changing, don't need to work type of family money!

My parents keep going on Cruises a couple of times a year. I keep telling them they only have a few years left, and should save it instead of spending it, but they don't listen. I might trick them into signing the house over to me in case they get any ideas to sell up and spank all their money on themselves 🤔

It’s not really about being “generous”, is it? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ And I’m not convinced that “most people” are given what you describe either.