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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how many hobbies your Primary age children do per week?

129 replies

MaryShelley1818 · 15/11/2023 13:26

DS is nearly 6 (Year 1) and does swimming one night a week and Karate one night.
DD is 2 (3 in a couple of months) and does "ballet" on a Saturday morning.

I go to all the hobbies while DH has the other child - he absolutely pulls his weight and does everything for us but I enjoy mixing with other parents and the social aspect more and he doesn't so both happy.

Last night I got an email from Scouts (Beavers) offering DS a place to start in January - he's keen to do this so I will of course facilitate it.

But....it feels like a lot. DD will start swimming lessons too next year and in time may choose other hobbies too. How do I do 3 each per week?? Or is this just normal life with kids.

For context - we both work full time, and also have very busy weekends - just family days out, swimming, parks etc

OP posts:
mindutopia · 15/11/2023 13:33

We have two - one in Y1 and one in Y6.

The Y1 one doesn't do anything organised. The Y6 does Scouts one weekday evening (and maybe camp twice a year on the weekend) and has a riding lesson maybe 2-3 times a month on a Saturday.

Phonedown · 15/11/2023 13:34

DD - 5
DS - 3

DS - used to do about 6 but as he has gotten older (secondary age) the three activities he love the most have required more of his time so he sacrificed the others.

I suspect something similar will happen with DD.

Their dad and I live together and both happy to do the driving about so that makes it a bit easier. Fridays are pretty sacred so we can have a properly full family night.

frecklejuice · 15/11/2023 13:35

I have one in year 5 and she does football training on a Tuesday evening for an hour then horse riding on a Thursday evening for an hour and then will have a football match on a Sunday. If she's given any money by family etc she normally saves that up to book another horse riding lesson but that's probably about once a month.

McConkeysPlate · 15/11/2023 13:35

Ds 7 does Beavers, dance, hockey and swimming lessons. For him it’s one too many

Skyblue92 · 15/11/2023 13:37

DD 5 and in reception does squirrels on a Monday, Karate Fridays and swimming Saturdays

StillWantingADog · 15/11/2023 13:38

Mine are older
year 6 - does 2, under protest
year 4 - does about 6😳 would do
more if we had the time/funds (we don’t)

we do taxis to clubs 4 nights a week and twice on Saturdays. Luckily dh and I share this responsibility, which helps a lot even though we only have one car.

At the age your children are I’d be pretty chilled, perhaps swimming and one other is more than enough. If you can fit in extra, great. But I know plenty of children your dc’s age that do none at all.

TheWitche · 15/11/2023 13:38

DS8 does after school performing arts, after school coding, beavers, football, performing arts, swimming (+ one football match a week). Too much and he is dropping beavers after Christmas.

DS6 does street dance, beavers, performing arts and swimming.

DS2 does absolutely nothing and I dread him starting school 🤣🤣

I figure as they get older they will drop things and it’s just nice to give them experiences they want, when they can. We spend an absolute fortune though!

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 15/11/2023 13:39

Swimming is a life skill that they’ll probably drop once they can swim well enough, unless they have a real live for it. so that and one other activity for a 3 year old and two other activities for a 6 year old seems fine and quite normal tbh.

I’ve known parents of kids their age signing them up for 5 or 6 different activities each a week, which is a bit much tbh.

CoodleMoodle · 15/11/2023 13:39

DD is in Y5 and does Brownies and swimming. DS is in Y1 and does swimming, hopefully starting Beavers next year when he's 6.

purpleme12 · 15/11/2023 13:39

Mine (10) does swimming, brownies and gymnastics. Has done them for years.
On different days.
But I've only got one child. Harder when there's more than one.

Sammilouwho · 15/11/2023 13:41

DD (5 - year 1) does Karate twice a week and swimming once and an after-school multiskills club once a week, DS (1) does swimming once a week.
I will say, she struggles a lot with doing karate twice a week but it is a requirement of our karate club, we also struggle with finding time to do it twice a week.

Badatthis · 15/11/2023 13:41

Dc8 does dance, drama, swimming, guitar lessons

Dc4 does swimming, martial arts, football.

I think it's too much really but ask them to drop something and they can't choose. I also realise that at 8 years old I would have (in the lax 1980s) been out running around with friends completely unsupervised most evenings. I can't organise or facilitate play dates every night so I see these as organised ways of socialising and they learn a skill too.

PuttingDownRoots · 15/11/2023 13:43

My youngest is in Yr6. She has Scouts one night, one midweek rugby training plus a game or training on Sunday, and choir at school one night.

Her sister (12yo) has Scouts (on a different night), climbing on a Saturday and various school clubs.

We worked on the basis of Swimming lesson (when younger), a sport of their choice plus a social type activity (like Scouts). The school based clubs we let them choose as long as they didn't interfere with out of school stuff.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 15/11/2023 13:43

Dd1 does dancing and swimming
ds does football beavers and swimming
dd2 does swimming and gymnastics

user1483387154 · 15/11/2023 13:44

sadly 0, its just not financially viable atm, however once I get a better job I would love him to do 1 or 2 classes a week.

Pandagirl10 · 15/11/2023 13:44

Mine are older now but at primary age we had an in house rule of a maximum of 3, but one had to be swimming (until they could swim well enough). We encouraged another to be brownies but didn’t force it.one did gymnastics and the other took ballet lessons/instrument lessons/stagecoach at various times!
it all somehow worked out!

MinnieMountain · 15/11/2023 13:46

Year 5. He does school science club and hockey on Sundays. Has never wanted to do much.

mn29 · 15/11/2023 13:47

I'm very much in favour of not doing too much in the way of extra curricular activities as I think plenty of 'downtime' is vital. However in your situation I would try out Beavers and see how it goes. My child has been in scouting since age 6, just moving up now to Explorers (post-scouts) and it is so enriching for them. We are not a camping/orienteering/pen knife skills etc kind of family so scouting really scratches that itch for my child. I'd keep the swimming as that's a vital life skill and if it all feels too much, let your son decide whether to drop karate or Beavers.

Peanutbutterismyjam · 15/11/2023 13:47

Both kids 6&4 do swimming once a week.
6yo has ALN so it's enough for him.
4 yo will hopefully be starting karate early next year.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/11/2023 13:48

It’s hard- my 6yr old does swimming on Sundays, dance on Wednesday and on Tuesdays gymnastics (but this is in school time). I would love her to do brownies and karate and drama but it would exhaust her.
She has homework and should also have downtime imo.

Some things she can do in the holidays- like we did tennis club in the Easter half term- so she got to try without the commitment. Worked well.

bakewellbride · 15/11/2023 13:50

My 5 year old only has one commitment and that's Lego club after school for an hour a week. A lot of his friends have much more but we feel this is enough for him for now and we are always out doing fun things so he still has a full and busy life.

Bluetrees9284 · 15/11/2023 13:50

That was so strange reading that - I also have a nearly 6 year old ds, who does swimming and Karate and hoping to start beavers in January! It does feel a lot I agree but I’m going to give it a go, as all feel beneficial. Also have a younger dd although she is a baby so not doing any activities yet!

FreestyleInTrance · 15/11/2023 13:53

My daughter's in Y1 and she does a lot of activities... but they're all things she's asked to do. The only non-negotiable is swimming, everything else she's welcome to stop once a block of lessons finishes.

As of today she's starting a Street Dance class which happens at her school after school, then Thursday is ballet, Friday is martial arts, ice skating on Saturday and swimming on a Sunday.

It sounds like a lot, but the new class is when she'd otherwise be in after school club anyway, and the rest combined are only 2 hours and 20 minutes, so there's still time for playdates and unstructured activities.

Ineedanewsofa · 15/11/2023 13:54

1 DC in yr 4 - choir, swimming, music lesson, gymnastics, horse riding, tap dancing and pony club. We also have a pony to look after!
3 are straight after school and on the school site, one is before school at the school site and one is lunchtime on the school’s site , so the logistics are easy(and the before/after school clubs cost the same as wrap around care which we’d have to pay for anyway). It sounds like a lot but DC is thriving on it so far!

Foxesandsquirrels · 15/11/2023 13:56

Unless they get into club swimming, that usually drops by the time they're 8/9ish and have got to say stage 5/6.
Beavers is great and often they drop the other things in favour as it generally encompasses a lot of activities rather than just one.